Considering my last trip down Viking movie terrain was the unbelievably bad A Viking Saga, I approached Hammer Of The Gods with more than slight trepidation. I had my finger hovering over the EJECT button just in case, and a back-up film prepared. To my immense relief, neither action was necessary, although this is still a LLOONNG way from being a good movie, it is at least (until the ridiculous ending sequence) durable, and precisely 1000 times better than the aforementioned pile of old donkey droppings. Go on... you figure it out.
Aside from not having an obnoxious narrator and scenes where people actually LOOK as if they're fighting (as opposed to doing a stupid dance) it also has satisfying gore as knives are twisted and decapitations are as commonplace as horned helmets. The story, such as it is, revolves around the search for a lost king in ancient Britain, but it soon fades from the memory as we witness one bloody slaughter after another. In fact, as sick as it may sound, I wanted MORE of it rather than the rather tiresome 'bonding' scenes between our sketchily drawn comrades. And as for nonsense in the caves towards the end involving incest, a weird cult and a complete overuse of body paint... Let's not mention it.
The wait for the perfect Nordic movie goes on. This is the best I've seen, only so far as to say: This is a freshly made turd, and not one with flies and mould on it... 4/10