The Last Heist

THE LAST HEIST is the kind of film I thought - and hoped - they'd stopped making a decade or so ago. You know the type, sub-Guy Ritchie fare with diamond geezers trading banter around the mean streets of south London. This one's advertised as a robbery flick with the bad guys wearing Donald Trump masks, but in fact 90% of it is set in a boring bar backdrop where the quartet of male characters swap dialogue and try to be both funny and cool. Sadly, they're not; the script is puerile, the humour forced and unnatural, and the acting straight out of drama school. Perry Benson is one of the familiar faces appearing here, and by this stage in his career, he should really know better.

I dunno know where to start if I'm honest.

One positive: there's some good acting from Terry Stone and Perry Benson, as always, but Sam Gittins and Daniel O'Reily (Dapper Laughs) really carry the whole thing. If it weren't for Dapper, I'd've turned this off after 10mins. I was surprised at what a great comedy actor he is and there's some real laugh out loud moments, which is quite incredible, considering how shocking bad the script is. All other acting is wooden, disconnected and inauthentic. GCSE drama springs to mind.

But yeah, the script is by far the worst thing about this film. There are so many swear words, it stops being funny and becomes embarrassing. The narrative is difficult to follow at times because there is so much waffle and extraneous information. It's also not clear what era we're in. The attitudes of the men towards women and the existence of East End gangsters indicates it should be 70s, but they wear Trump masks for the robbery... so, this is supposed to be modern day? Weird.

They've also publicised this film as being based on real people, but we don't know who these people are so lord knows why that's relevant. Either way, none of the characters are endearing or admirable. I'm not sure if I was supposed to like these people, be impressed by them, feel sorry for them or loathe them but I'm leaning towards the latter.

Basically, it feels like a load of geezers with some pocket money romanticised what they wish their lives were like if they were hard nut gangsters and this is the result. Don't waste your time or money on it.

My stars are for Terry Stone, Daniel O'Donnell and Sam Gittens. Great acting and some good giggles from their performances. Liked the eternal barmaid Deana, she's an angel. Other female roles all a bit shallow. Michael Head, no, didn't believe his character at all, why Slips? Absolute shame about the script and flimsy storyline. The great twist, when it came, was not any surprise to me and others viewing with me. Dragged on painfully long and was ridiculously sentimental and soppy. F word count was abandoned after 39 in about 20 minutes. Didn't even start with the C one. Any chance of refund please? Feel like was robbed of time i can't get back.

Mid tier Bri-eesh heist C-film. It's basically a bunch of cockney criminal caricatures reminiscing about their misdeeds and silly adventures, telling their story through flashbacks and conversations at the table. There is an eye-rolling twist that happens too late and does too little.

Uninteresting plot, incoherently edited, poorly acted, and horrendously shot and lit. In the end, The Last Heist is a good first hour, brought down by a final act that has a point to make but goes about it in a very misguided way. It's a reminder that creativity can be a good thing, but it needs to be properly channelled to have the desired effect.

Firstly I was looking forward to this. I'm a fan of most things Terry Stone has been in and he's solid in this.

Emily Wyatt and Sam Gittins were also decent here given the script they were given.

Ricky London (Dapper laughs) was easily the best thing about the film. He carried it to be honest.

The plot, could have worked with a better script and more direction.

I understand Michael Head wrote this, but his casting was a massive mistake. It was terrible watching him in this, it made others around him awkward and made it look like a badly done school play, rather than a film.

Such a shame. 4 stars is favourable here as well, it I was being honest I would probably give it less.

I would say if you like British gangster films and just want something to pass the time, knowing it's not going to be great, then crack on.

If not then give it a wide birth.