Quotes

The Hitman's Bodyguard

Darius Kincaid: Motherfucker, I will bust a cap in your ass, if you don't give up that wheel.
Michael Bryce: Have you ever said please or thank you...
Darius Kincaid: Please, motherfucker!
Michael Bryce: Why are we always yelling?

Darius Kincaid: You know, when life gives you shit, you make Kool-Aid.
Michael Bryce: That's not really how that expression works.
Darius Kincaid: That's the beauty of that motherfucker: life.
Michael Bryce: Ah. Yeah, well, life, I mean... life doesn't usually give you shit and then turn into a beverage.

Michael Bryce: Go with God! This man's killed over 150 people.
Darius Kincaid: 250, easy.
Michael Bryce: Yeah, but they love you. Me, they want to perform an exorcism on.
Darius Kincaid: Question for a higher power. Who is more wicked, he who kills evil motherfuckers or he who protects them?

Darius Kincaid: You're going to pardon an innocent woman? That's mighty fucking white of you.

Darius Kincaid: You know, Dokhovich's men have killed every single witness bought against them, and my security detail is a dozen off-duty cops?
Amelia Roussel: These are the most highly trained officers in Europe, Mr. Kincaid. We've taken every precaution to make sure that your involvement is completely classified.
Jean Foucher: We have taken every precaution to make sure that your involvement is completely classified.
Darius Kincaid: It's a secret? That makes me feel so much better.
Garrett: Well, I can assure you, even if there was an attempt, we are more than prepared for any assault.
Darius Kincaid: [headbutts Garret] Prepared for that assault, motherfucker?

Darius Kincaid: You made a shank yet?
Sonia Kincaid: What for?
Darius Kincaid: It's prison, baby. You gotta protect yourself.
Sonia Kincaid: It's a Dutch prison, Darius! What are they gonna do, beat me with a clog?

Darius Kincaid: See, if I'm paying Triple-A rates, then I'm looking for that full service shit, you know what I'm saying? The extra "A" in stands for "ass", yours, between mine and a bullet.

Darius Kincaid: That shit was two years ago, man. You gonna be a little bitch about it?
Michael Bryce: You're on your own!
Darius Kincaid: Well, good! I'll be safer on my own!
Michael Bryce: You won't last one hour without me! You'll be dead in a minute!
Darius Kincaid: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're about as useful as a condom in a convent.
Michael Bryce: Eat my ass!
Darius Kincaid: That's what she said!
Michael Bryce: Suck it!
Darius Kincaid: Fuck you!

Darius Kincaid: The single most awesome shot I've made in my entire hitman career. 300 meters through a firm C-cup titty-sized window.

Michael Bryce: You know he's a murderer, right? You're playing nurse to a murderer.
Amelia Roussel: A witness.
Michael Bryce: Really?
Amelia Roussel: Mm-hmm.
Michael Bryce: Twenty-seven times. That's how many times this asshole has tried to kill me, 27 - 28! Fucking Prague!

Darius Kincaid: The Bible says to never take revenge, to leave it to the Lord. But I wasn't prepared to wait that long.

Darius Kincaid: Go to FTP site Raven 257. Just load it up.
Moreno: Exhibit 18-D. We've confirmed the coordinates.
ICC Court Clerk: It's asking for a password.
Darius Kincaid: Oh, sorry. Er, password... "Dukhovich is a dick", all caps, uh, except "dick" is lower case.

Michael Bryce: This yours? Is this your cell phone?
Darius Kincaid: I might have taken that off some dead merc.
Michael Bryce: You might've... you know, they can track a cell phone. That's why I use a ghost chip in mine so they can't track the phone. I mean, that's how they know where we were! Here I am, I'm plotting courses all over the country, and you're carrying a location beacon in your pocket!
Darius Kincaid: My bad.
Michael Bryce: Your bad? You don't even understand how 21st century technology works! I mean, how have you stayed alive this long?
Darius Kincaid: While all you guys are wasting your time planning and aiming and deducing, I just do my thing, and my thing has always been better than your fucking thing.

Michael Bryce: I can protect someone from bullets and explosives, but there's nothing I can do against indiscriminate use of mayonnaise for 68 straight years.

Goran: I ask you one time, polite. Where is Kincaid?
Michael Bryce: Honestly, I'd tell you if I knew. You have my word. Look at my right hand. See that? That's a Boy Scout salute. We're sworn to never lie. I've taken an oath, so you can trust me.

[last lines]
Sonia Kincaid: Oh, baby, it's so romantic that you broke out of prison for our anniversary.
Darius Kincaid: No way was I gonna miss it this year, Corazón.
Sonia Kincaid: Ay, mi cucaracha.
Darius Kincaid: Happy anniversary.
Sonia Kincaid: Happy anniversary, motherfucker.

[Kincaid corners Dukhovich on the roof. He shoots at Dukhovich's leg. Dukhovich collapses, crying in pain. Kincaid approaches him]
Darius Kincaid: Up on the ledge, dookie man.
[Dukhovich does not comply. He groans in pain]
Darius Kincaid: You heard me, bitch! Up on the ledge!
[painfully, Dukhovich sits on the ledge. He looks at Kincaid and chuckles nastily]
Vladislav Dukhovich: [venomously] The look on your face. You're so proud. Darius Kincaid, about to be a hero, save the day. None of that matters. There is no redemption, no atonement for a man like you. Your whole life has been but a trail of corpses, and I will be just another dead body on the pile! Go ahead! Finish me! But don't think for a moment it will change what you are.
[Kincaid stares at Dukhovich for a moment, then bursts out laughing]
Darius Kincaid: I don't give a fuck about all of that!
[Kincaid stops laughing and gazes at Dukhovich grimly]
Darius Kincaid: You fucked up when you shot my bodyguard.
[a flashback: Dukhovich shoots at Kincaid. Bryce saves Kincaid's life by shielding him, getting himself injured by the bullet meant for Kincaid]
Vladislav Dukhovich: [confused] Who?
[Kincaid kicks Dukhovich off the roof to his death]

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