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Credited cast: | |||
James Balsamo | ... | James Argento / Allen / Butch / Mark | |
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Michael Shershenovich | ... | Mike Fulci / The Russian / Pete |
Dave Brockie | ... | Duke / Defendor | |
Lynn Lowry | ... | Talent Agent | |
Debbie Rochon | ... | Astral Angel | |
Lloyd Kaufman | ... | Rabbi Lloyd / Self | |
Rest of cast listed alphabetically: | |||
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Haroon Ahmad | ... | Raja |
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Michael Balsamo | ... | Steve / Johnny Walker |
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Christine Brulotte | ... | Victim #1 Battle of the Banxs |
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Veronika Brussmannova | ... | Betty |
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Keith J. Crocker | ... | Self |
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Dan E. Danger | ... | Danny Danger / Mummy / Ronnie |
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Melissa Davanzo | ... | Cowgirl / Domanatrix / shower girl |
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Fatt Dave | ... | Fluffer |
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Dominae Drakonis | ... | Monster Victim |
James and Mike are tired of art films taking away the credit that horror films deserve. So, they get a script from the devil to make the best horror film ever. The script has three stories in it. The first is about Nazis that awaken a mummy's curse. The second tale is about an alien that crashes a battle of the bands and then starts eating the contestants, and the last story is about a man who gets possessed to kill televangelists. Written by James Balsamo
Making an intentionally bad film is a delicate procedure and an art form, and is successfully executed only with the understanding of what makes a film good or bad. It's a tongue-in-cheek process in which the filmmaker needs to be a little more intuitive than the target audience. The filmmakers behind Hack Job are blissfully unaware of this, resulting in a bad movie that isn't fun and watchable, but rather boring and painful. The film is incoherent in absolutely every way, with ineptitude and naïvety woven throughout it. It isn't scary, and it barely cracks 3 decent jokes throughout. And don't think stars or topless women can save this...neither are depicted flatteringly. So there goes the schlock-film pull. Without these things, the film offers nothing, and to fail so miserably with the bar set so low to begin with is just unfortunate. Coming from someone who loves to sit down and watch a fun, bad movie, my advice is not to waste your time or money on this one.
This isn't filmmaking. This is your buddy's 9th grade video project.