Jersey Shore Shark Attack (TV Movie 2012) Poster

(2012 TV Movie)

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4/10
Absolutely terrible yet strangely amusing & witty at times.
poolandrews11 December 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Jersey Shore Shark Attack is set in the small town of Seaside Heights on the Jersey Shore where Italian Guido TC (Jeremy Luke) & his mates live & hang out, while having a fight with Bradford (Grant Harvey) & some rich preppy boy friends from the local yachting club. A Guido named JP (Ben Giroux) is chased & jumps into the Ocean where Bradford & his friend leave him, suddenly JP is attacked from below the surface by a vicious white skinned, red eyed albino Shark & killed. Most of us wouldn't be to bothered but TC & his mates are genuinely upset, TC believes that something in the water attacked JP & sets out to prove it to his father who happens to be the Sheriff in Seaside Heights. While performing an open air concert ex N-Sync boy-band member Joey Fatone is eaten by a flying Shark, the wider community now has to believe TC. As the bodies mount up it's up to TC & his Guido companions to save the day & prevent a bloodbath...

Directed by John Sheppird this made for television comedy horror spoof premiered on the SyFy Channel both here in the UK & the US before hitting the shops on DVD & Blu-ray, I deliberately described Jersey Shore Shark Attack as a comedy spoof horror although thinking about it I might just have given it far too much credit & in fact it's an absolute shambles of a film but surely no-one could make a film this outrageously bad on purpose could they? Obviously a tongue in cheek light hearted attempt to combine the cheap Sy Fy Channel creature feature with the successful reality based Jersey Shore (2009) television series that follows a group of twenty something's around, right now I will admit that I hate these fly on the wall reality television show's so I have not seen a single second of the awful sounding Jersey Shore series but I have seen what seems like hundreds of those cheap Shark based SyFy Channel creature features & I have to say that I found Jersey Shore Shark Attack utterly awful yet undeniably entertaining & even quite amusing at times. At just under 90 minutes long the script wastes no time & this has a good pace, something utterly stupid or daft is always happening so you will be in a constant state of hysterics & disbelief at what you are witnessing. Jersey Shore Shark Attack is the sort of film that defies any sort of rational description, you simply have to see it to understand how awful it is & how embarrassing it is. The character's are all dumb stereotypical idiots & I assume that the airhead Nooki is a send-up of the real life Jersey Shore participant Snooki, the dialogue is terrible (did he drowned?) & the whole premise is lazy & has been done before. There's the killer Shark's, the rich businessman & town mayor who refuse to shut the beach down because of fear of bad publicity & the stand-up Sheriff who puts himself on the line. Character's behave in ways that are totally idiotic & I was actually rooting for the Shark's who were the innocent victims here in this tragic tale of environmental destruction & social behaviour.

The special effects are absolutely awful, the shark attacks are CGI computer animated & next to no effort was made to even place the Shark's & actor's in the same scene or to make footage of the two even match during the same scene. Jersey Shore Shark Attack is badly made by people who look like they don't really care. There's a bit of gore, a guy has his hand bitten off & a fountain of blood spurts everywhere, there's a mangled torso & some guy is attacked as a Shark jumps out of the water & has his stomach torn open & skin ripped off his body. The rest of the attacks are pitiful, even the blood in most of the attacks is CGI, how cheap is that? The film is very bright & colourful with no thought on creating any sort of atmosphere or scares or tension, it's very kitsch & exaggerated.

Filmed mainly in California there's an appearance by Joey Fatone in a funny cameo & the entire cast seem to having fun with the one-liners & silly poses, the so bad it's good acting from the cast is probably the best aspect of Jersey Shore Shark Attack & makes it a total laugh riot from start to finish.

Jersey Shore Shark Attack is absolutely terrible, it's not a proper film it's a collection of awfully directed scenes & rubbish CGI effects held together by a game cast & an amusing script that actually has some wit. Don't rush out & buy it but I was entertained in a very strange sort of way. Now, a reality based television series in which the cast of the actual Jersey Shore are attacked & eaten by killer Shark's is definitely something I would pay good money to see...
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5/10
Decent cheese
miloc3 June 2012
For reasons more complicated than I would want to explain, I ended up at a special big- screen premiere of "Jersey Shore Shark Attack" last night. The trailer for this TV movie event has been attracting considerable online derision lately, so I feel compelled to say that in a theater, surrounded by a crowd of the willing, it's actually pretty fun.

The cults that surround movies like "The Room" and "Troll 2" have created a weird sort of cottage industry centered around "so-bad-it's-good" entertainment. SyFy, which has lately been churning out deadpan goofs like "Mega-Shark vs. Giant Octopus", seems determined to enter those sweepstakes. But the appeal of something like "The Room" comes from the understanding that the movie was meant to be *good*. (Tommy Wiseau has since claimed otherwise, but seriously, come on.)

"Jersey Shore" and "Mega-Shark", by contrast, are pseudo-hip, self-aware entertainments, somewhere between Roger Corman's '60s beatnik spoof "Bucket of Blood" and a Z-grade Frankie Avalon beach party. Here and there they earn a laugh worthy of a good SCTV sketch. (In "Mega-Shark" it's the bit with the plane, and in this one it's the fate of ex-'N Syncer Joey Fatone.)

This isn't exactly great or even good cinema. On TV, without a live audience, this may well die the death. But low-budget quickies like this used to kill in a drive-in or a 99-cent grindhouse. With low expectations you forgive the clunkier jokes and appreciate the details (like the "Jaws" music cue during Tony Sirico's Quint speech). Fun was had and the profit margins were high-- so why exactly aren't there drive-ins anymore?
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4/10
Root for the sharks
MartianOctocretr511 June 2012
The title is an invitation to watch some brain dead clowns get chased by fish with big teeth. Kitschy craziness is promised, and this latest in SyFy channel low budget mutant shark movies delivers enough to make the joke work.

The cast of look-alikes did a great job of spoofing their infamous reality show counterparts. The girl doing Snooki was a dead ringer for her. She and the others had their English-slaying "Joyzee" speech down pat, and the patented stupidity of JS's regulars was a good fit for this type of movie.

Enter the sharks. Like a zillion other movies like this made on the cheap, the sharks are the result of evil corporate America. The special effects were deliberately cheap and fake looking, and are so bad they're funny. Plenty of red dye gets tossed around, but no real grisly scenes, so the comic approach works.

Obviously not to be taken seriously. How can anybody fault sharks or be afraid of them for going after these dummies? If anything, you'll root for the sharks.
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3/10
SyFy gives us albino killer sharks...
paul_haakonsen10 August 2012
Warning: Spoilers
The first thing that came to mind when I saw the SyFy logo, was "oh great", because usually SyFy make these really, really bad monstrous creature movies. But still, I gave it a watch because their movies are usually so bad that they are fun to watch.

As for the story in "Jersey Shore Shark Attack", well it is as with much other shark movies. Mankind is drilling in the ocean floor, and that stirs up a school of killer sharks, and the waters become unsafe to go into.

The storyline was very thin and seen countless times before in other movies, but still, it was fun to watch because the sharks looked so cheesy, the characters in the movie didn't share the IQ of a birch tree combined, and the effects were just laughable.

The characters in this movie was so epically lame, that it was just unbelievable. Combined amongst these steroid pumped young men and women, I think the IQ was still lower than that of a birch tree. The way they behaved, talked and what they did, it was just so over the top, and no one in their right mind would do such things, much less behave that way. Someone in the movie said, and I quote, "omg, look at that" - seriously, who talks like that? Now, I am not saying that the acting was bad, it was just questionable, and people did what they could with these super bad characters and dialogue that the had to work with. And what was up with the names of these characters? They were just downright stupid; TC, BJ, Nooki, J-Moni and Balzac. And the way those steroid muscle-men were walking, they looked like constipated dolls sitting on Popsicle sticks.

Joey Fatone is in the movie, still cashing in on the former Nsync celebrity status. Well, aside from that, then he gets eaten by a shark that just comes out of nowhere, jumps out, swallows him with a massive splatter of blood, and then apparently goes back into the water. That scene, despite being hilarious, was just so bad. How did that shark even get there?

Amazing with fireworks nowadays, apparently the firecrackers these people had packed such a sonic blast that it was able to knock a grown woman off the rocks and into the water. That scene was just so stupid. Not to mention the roman candle shooting underwater. What? And lets not leave out the unforgettable scene with the fireworks in the boat and the following explosion. It just has to be seen to actually be believed.

And you just got to love those adventurous, bold sharks that manage to get to water so shallow that it only reaches up to the middle of the lower calves of a grown man, and still manage to snatch itself a meal, despite the shark being way to big to even swim there. Or those wonderful moments when sharks start attacking the pillars that support and hold up the seaside boardwalk, because we all know that it happens every day in Jersey.

When the shark kept bobbing up out of the water at the side of the boat, it just looked like something out of a "whack-a-mole" game. It was so hilarious. And to make it even better, it was the worst CGI shark in the history of movies. Epic. Just epic!

Despite all these flaws and faults, then "Jersey Shore Shark Attack" was actually fun entertainment. Why? Well because it was so over the top cheesy and bad, and I sincerely hope that the movie was making fun of itself and the shark genre.

Not to mention that the Jersey police don't even have their weapon securely locked away, as TC could just walk in there and take whatever he wanted. No security, no locks, no weapons locker, no nothing. It was just hilarious.

Will you ever go in the water again?
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10/10
The Best SyFy Original Movie Yet
JCMotors9 June 2012
Jersey Shore Shark Attack is so bad that it's good. As a die hard Jersey Shore hater I had to check this movie out for myself. Usually SyFy Original Movies are terrible and ripoff other movies This one is a crossover parody where they mashup Jersey Shore and a generic shark Attack SyFy Movie. I literally couldn't stop laughing at this movie. I nearly died from laughter.

The parodies of the Jersey Shore cast was excellent and gave the Italian stereotype the bad rap that Jersey Shore brings. You have to see this to believe it. I was more excited for Jersey Shore Shark Attack than for next week's movie, Piranhaconda. This movie is one of the better SyFy original movies out there.

I can't wait for the DVD.
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5/10
Actually Rather Tolerable
gavin694214 October 2012
Many years ago, hundreds of locals and tourists were massacred by giant man-eating sharks in the infamous 1916 Jersey Shore attacks. But that was just a legend... or is it?

I love how the cover quote says this film is better than "The Avengers". Either that guy was paid a lot of money, was on some really good prescription medication, or was willing to sell his soul and lie just to get his name on the cover of a DVD.

I also love how the producer and second unit director is Fred Olen Ray, pretty much the modern master of the B movie. This film does not have Ray's style to it, though, so I am a bit curious which parts were second unit.

Sadly, I must confess that overall this was not a terrible movie. While more comedy than horror, they really pulled all the stops in capturing the "Jersey Shore" feel with muscles, guidos, and fake tans. The actors chosen were excellent for their respective parts, and even a few bigger names -- Paul Sorvino, Joey Fatone -- made appearances. I am a bit impressed.

Great film? No. But actually somewhat better than much of what the SyFy network produces.
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One of the Best SyFy/Shark Movies
Michael_Elliott13 June 2012
Jersey Shore Shark Attack (2012)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

If you're looking for the mastery of Spielberg then it's best that you stay away from this flick but if you're just looking for some cheap entertainment then this here is without question one of the best films that SyFy has done (I know that's not saying too much). The story is pretty simple as the Jersey Shore comes under attack from some albino sharks over the July 4th weekend. JERSEY SHORE SHARK ATTACK works fairly well because the filmmakers were smart enough to realize that they were making a cheap, low-budget movie and it works best because it knows its limitations and instead of pretending to be something it's not, the film instead has fun with its targets. Of course the TV show Jersey Shore is under attack here and throwing in a knock-off of JAWS was just icing on the cake. I've never seen an episode of the television show but it's pretty hard to miss any of its cast members and I thought this movie did a pretty good job at making fun of them. The fighting, drinking, partying and various other things that they do were all spoofed pretty well here and we even get a Snooki wannabe in "Nooki" that is pretty darn funny. The entire spoof aspect of the film works extremely well and a lot of the credit has to go to the cast members who actually turn in good performances. Yes, by doing a spoof that allows the cast to overact and have some fun so that should be taken into credit. I'm not sure if any of them will have long careers but they can at least say they did a nice job here and especially Jeremy Luc as "The Complication" and Melissa Molinaro as Nooki. We even get Paul Sorvino (yes, the GOODFELLAS guy), Vinny Guadagnino and Joey Fatone making cameos. Fred Olen Ray produced this thing so that should tell you all you need to know. We get some pretty gory kills, which will make horror fans happy and we're also given some of the worst CGI effects that help add some laughs. The sharks themselves all look incredibly silly but they too add to the low-budget charm. JERSEY SHORE SHARK ATTACK is far from a masterpiece and it's not even a "good" movie but I give everyone involved credit for knowing what they were doing and at least delivering a fun movie.
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4/10
"Jersey Shore" + "Jaws" (1975) = Quite possibly the greatest straight-to-TV SyFy movie ever?
dee.reid9 June 2012
I guess I'm being gracious in giving this movie a solid "4." But I'm not ashamed to say that I anxiously waited a week to see "Jersey Shore Shark Attack." As its title would imply, this straight-to-TV SyFy movie, directed by John Shepphird, is a direct, albeit semi-hip and self-knowing, rip-off of "Jaws" (1975) and a hilarious parody of MTV's hit reality TV series "Jersey Shore."

There's a special type of culture for a movie like this, and that is the people who like "movies that are so bad, they're good"; I'm not really in that crowd, just so you know. Yet in a wasteland of bad made-for-TV movies, it is quite possible that this is the best SyFy movie they've ever produced, which unfortunately does not say much about the channel's abysmal track record of weekly "Jaws" rip-offs as a whole.

I love "Jaws," and I'm not afraid to admit to being a viewer of the so-called social "degenerates" on "Jersey Shore"; how many of us truly have our shameless reality TV addictions? We all do. But you have to give the movie credit when it does feature one of the real-live genuine "Jersey Shore" cast members (Vinny Guadagnino) and a former boy band band-mate (Joey Fatone of *NSYNC) in self-knowing cameos as themselves.

A plot summary is pretty useless, but I'll go ahead anyway, in one sentence: During the Fourth of July weekend, prehistoric, deep-sea albino bullsharks are terrorizing Seaside Heights, New Jersey, and it's up to the hard-partying members of a "Jersey Shore"-like reality TV show to stop them. That's it. Although it's unlikely that you could ever count on the drunken beach-goers of Seaside Heights to save the day from man-eating sharks, SyFy is politely asking us to turn our brains off for two hours and enjoy the show.

"Jersey Shore Shark Attack's" merits (incredibly, yes, it does have a few) comes from its knowing self-awareness of its source material. The trick is combining the two sources effectively, and it does so. The movie begins like "Jaws" in its first five minutes, before going on to "Jersey Shore"-like debauchery and shenanigans with Shore-house cast-mate TC/"The Complication" (Jeremy Luc) waking up in bed after a drunken one-night stand with a bikini-clad local floozy, followed by a wet-&-wild wet T-shirt contest at a local bar. Things climax with a bar-room brawl between the Shore-house cast-mates and a group of upper-crust college grads, before comfortably moving back into "Jaws" territory when an ensuing foot-chase between the two conflicting parties down the boardwalk ends with one of the drunken locals becoming shark food.

The CGI special effects are pretty poor, but there are some spectacularly bloody shark attacks that are way more likely to elicit gut-busting laughs than screams. But I don't blame them; it is SyFy, after all.

"Jersey Shore Shark Attack" is a SyFy movie that is better than the rest of the crop of like-minded monster movies the channel is prone to putting out on a weekly basis. The keys to its marginal success are its attempts at combining "Jaws" with the outlandish antics of "Jersey Shore," complete with the requisite gory animal attacks of the former and the bad Italian-American stereotypes (complete with a Snooki-like character delightfully called "Nooki" and a guy with a Pauly D-styled blowout hairdo) of the latter.

Whoever dreamt up the crazy concept for this movie, I'd just like to shake his hand, for he has a cult classic that he can be more or less semi-proud of.

4/10
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1/10
I knew it was SUPPOSED to be bad but...
jlt8618 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
This was really, REALLY bad. I know Sci-Fi original movies aren't diamonds and I usually have a really good sense of humor with them, but this was just unforgivable. The sharks were the worst things I have ever seen even with an expected sh**** budget. Were they albino sharks? I don't care. Joey Fatone getting eaten was the highlight but too bad you saw that in the commercial. I think I mostly HATED this movie because *SPOILER ALERT* NONE of the Jersey Shore parody cast members got eaten. I was SOOOOO disappointed; I really wanted to see the "Snooki" character get eaten. At least just ONE of them BUT THEY ALL LIVED! Wasn't the whole point of the movie to see the Jersey Shore characters get torn apart by sharks?! Anyway, the movie sucked even though it was supposed to suck. Worst.
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5/10
Jersey Shore Shark Attack delivers the gory guido fun
rgblakey21 August 2012
Sometimes movies are the most entertaining when they are at their most ridiculous. There have been numerous Shark themed movies and almost all of them have taken a strange silly approach with films like Sharktopus and the latest Jersey Shore Shark Attack. Can it possible deliver something of merit when you take the cheesy shark attack film and mix it with the unexplainably popular Jersey Shore premise?

Jersey Shore Shark Attack follows the Guido's of the Jersey Shore as they are forced to team up with the Preppies to fend off giant man-eating sharks as they return again for what was only thought to be legend of the 1961 Jersey Shore attacks. The premise pretty much says it all and delivers exactly what you think it will. This is by no means a good movie, but instead one of those that will appeal to the fans of the cheesy lame horror genre and most likely hated by everyone else. Designed as a spoof of the Jersey Shore series crumpled together with a low budget version of JAWS, this movie is actually pretty entertaining. As someone who cannot stand the Jersey Shore this movie not only satisfies with the mockery, but also gives the joy of watching them suffer the over the top demise of man eating sharks. This filmed aired as one of the SyFy channel movies, but does manage to sport much better effects than some of their previous films. There are some pretty decent kills, while the rest of them are so corny and over the top it is a blast that has to be seen.

Surprisingly enough this film sports a decent supporting cast of Jack Scalia, Paul Sorvino, William Atherton, Tony Sirico as well as cameos by Joey Fatone and Vinny Guadagnino, but still never seems to take itself too serious hence keeping the great cheese together. If you are fans of over the top cheese with films like Sharktopus or can't stand the Jersey Shore (like as well) then this is a must see bloody good time.

http://www.examiner.com/movie-in-dallas/bobby-blakey
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4/10
As good as it sounds.
doctorsmoothlove1 August 2019
Warning: Spoilers
"Jersey Shore Shark Attack" opens with a stylized introduction to some of the main characters straight out of a spaghetti western which is indicative of the unexpected effort put into the quality of the film. It does not really deliver beyond what you expect with the title. Despite that, the film recognizes its own limitations and fully embraces both the Jersey Shore and Shark Attack parts of its heritage. Jersey Shore has faded from the spotlight so there may be some novelty if you have not seen an episode lately.

The introduction leads you to believe there will be realized characters who face off in a struggle of some kind. That sort of happens. The film has a class conflict backdrop many working class people can relate to. The guidos, as they are called and call themselves, are the tanned Jersey natives who have lived in the area for at least a century. They speak like the TV stereotypes they are, style their hair every which way and wear beach clothes all the time. Preppy, rich non-guidos exclusively inhabit yachts and never tire of picking on the guidos' slovenly lifestyle.

Sharks attack indiscriminately due to vibrations caused by the construction of a fancy boardwalk. No one approved an ordinance variation. The guidos have to save their hometown and the preps too. The film hints at personal conflict between some of the preps and guidos without much exploration. A few tweaks to the script would have been helpful to gel the shark plot with the class conflict one. The film feels like an episode of the TV show forced into the middle of a lame shark movie.

The sharks look so bad it must have been intentional. I'm talking 1990s type bad CGI. The film doesn't even bother to show the sharks interacting with the actors often. Instead we see the CGI shark below water then the victim drop below the surface as red food dye fills the water. Thankfully, the actors have some fun with fireworks and harpoon guns to kill them.

In spite of its flaws, "Jersey Shore Shark Attack" stands out as one of the better themed made for TV shark efforts. The actors are talented enough to run through the jokes which are spread out enough not to become tiresome. The rest is just a standard Jaws ripoff with Jack Scalia as Chief Brody and Paul Sorvino as the mayor. You could do better and a whole lot worse.
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8/10
CALL ME NOOKIE
nogodnomasters19 July 2018
Warning: Spoilers
The Jersey Shore is under attack by CG generated red-eyed albino "Moby Dick" sharks. This is a campy cleavage filled take off of "Jersey Shore" and shark attack movies. The production utilizes Troma style blood squirts and occasional body parts. The dialouge ranges from clever to sad and includes many bad shark attack lines such as: "You're not half the man I am."

Spoofs include hunting sharks with Roman candles and M-80s. Typical shark movie criticisms include deep water sharks in shallow water and people seen standing in water in one scene are shown treading water from underneath. Cameo appearance by Joey Fatone, who I discovered is his real name and not a gag name (Fat one) although one can't help but think that in this film.

Enjoyable Snooki spoof. I don't watch "Jersey Shore" and don't know of anyone who admits to it, but everyone knows Snooki. I am sure "Jersey Shore" fans will have more to howl about in this film.

PARENTAL GUIDE: No f-bombs, sex, or nudity. Implied sex with couple in bed on morning after. Lame wet t-shirt contest with contestants wearing bikini tops under shirts...I mean where's the point? 4 stars for those who like bad campy films.
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7/10
Entertaining parody of Jersey Shore and shark-attack flicks
Wuchakk6 September 2017
RELEASED TO TV in 2012 and directed by John Shepphird, "Jersey Shore Shark Attack" spoofs the Jersey Shore TV show and "Jaws"-inspired shark attack movies. The plot concerns several seemingly super sharks unleashed to attack Jersey beaches due to underwater drilling.

Critics love to rag on this movie, but I guess they didn't get the memo that it's a parody. Not only is it entertaining as a spoof, but the writers add interesting and even heartwarming drama to the mix. Yet, it wouldn't have worked without the right cast and, in this regard, it delivers with a stalwart cast led by Jeremy Luke as The Complication (lol) and Melissa Molinaro as the striking-yet-superficial Nooki. Joseph Russo & Daniel Booko are on hand as TC's beach buds while Alex Mauriello & Audi Resendez appear as Nooki's besties. Tony Sirico plays TC's cop father and they have a quality story arc.

I liked how the rival preppie guys (Grant Harvey & Dylan Vox) are depicted as more formidable than geeky. Nooki asks Bradford (Harvey) at one point: "Why are you guys so materialistic?" He replies, "Because we have all the materials" (lol).

The movie scores high marks in the female department with Alex Mauriello as J-Moni & Laura Harrison as De'Angela standing out in "Whoa Mama!" fashion. There's also a surprisingly quality score that interestingly meshes "Terminator 2" (1991) with "Last of the Mohicans" (1992). Lastly, sure, the sharks are laughably cartoony and do unbelievable things, but that's all part of the charm of the satire. The bottom line is that the movie effectively entertains.

THE MOVIE RUNS about 88 minutes and was shot in Redondo Beach & Venice Beach, CA, with establishing shots of Seaside Heights, New Jersey. WRITERS: Michael Ciminera & Richard Gnolfo. ADDITIONAL CAST: Paul Sorvino & William Atherton appear as Jersey shore VIPs who put money above lives.

GRADE: B
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2/10
Jaws for Jersey
wes-connors23 August 2013
New Jersey shore's "Seaside Heights" residents get ready to celebrate the Fourth of July holiday. Meanwhile, cartoon-like sharks begin killing people. The animated creatures are called albino sharks and have an old score to settle. During the deadly heat-wave of 1916, the boardwalk construction attracted sharks with vibrations. After hefty former "N-Sync" singer Joey Fatone is attacked, everyone thinks the danger is over. But the sharks have an insatiable appetite. Body-builder Jeremy Luke (as TC, meaning "The Complication") and bronzed girlfriend Melissa Molinaro (as Nooki) are the stars. There is some humor attempted throughout this TV movie revision of the shark classic "Jaws" (1975). For a couple of reasons, the best part of this movie is the ending.

** Jersey Shore Shark Attack (6/9/12) John Shepphird ~ Jeremy Luke, Melissa Molinaro, Daniel Booko, Joey Russo
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6/10
I loathe the Jersey Shore show, but dug this movie
movieman_kev22 July 2012
Spoof of Jersey Shore, and Jaws is just as utterly ridiculous as it sounds, yet still the most fun that I've had with a SyFy film in quite some time. The preppies and guidos, usually mortal enemies must team up to fight off hungry albino sharks off the east coast over the fourth of July weekend.

Some nice gory deaths, funny moments (admittedly juvenile humor but I chuckled none the less) and a pace that never dulls combine for a good time, all the better if you have cold beer on hand. Made for Syfy movies have been pretty dire as of late so this was a much needed change of pace.
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1/10
Terrible
facebook-138-59136115 June 2014
When a film starts off with "Come in, I won't bite you. Unless you want me to" and goes downhill from there you know you are in trouble.

Total waste of time, from the script (see above) to the special affects (sharks look like kids bathtub play things) , there is nothing good about this movie.

The acting is what you would expect from the TV show, so, umm, not good.

I think it is the first film I have seen in a while that I can think of nothing at all good to say about it.

SyFy channel are known for their cheesiness, they outdid themselves this time.

Unless you are a fan (and even then) avoid.
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1/10
Ugh
arus_royus8 January 2014
This is a movie which is SOOO atrociously bad that I am ashamed to rate it, let alone write a review. Don't even know where to start. The protagonists of the movie are despicable and hateful to watch "perform" in this atrocious movie. I read other reviews and am fully aware of the fact that this movie was made to be intentionally bad. But it's just an insult to sharks and good taste in general. And the "special" effects are to be abhorred.

In fact there is nothing good about this movie, he he, except a "spectacular" dancing scene somewhere in the middle. Yeah anyway what am I getting all upset about it. If people enjoy watching it and other people have fun making it, so what. Still a bad movie though.

Enjoy.
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10/10
The top syfy shark movie to date
mreminiscence9 June 2012
First off I want to let you know I am from NJ and have been to Seaside many times. I love the way this movie mocks it so much "really wish it was actually filmed there, but ooh well it still sets the mood. Fake tans and fist pumping guidos, how can it get any better? It's the corny dialogue and the fake Staten Island accent that really make the movie, as far as the acting goes for a syfy flick it's really good. Of coarse the CGI graphics really suck but it make the movie. I don't want to give away any spoilers but it is definitely worth the 2 hours of your life if you are into the syfy movies. I've watched many of the cheesy syfy movies, and I am always looking for one to top the "so bad it's good" list. Jersey Shore Shark Attack does it. Tops my list. So check it out, it's a great comedy...
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4/10
"Yo, you can't put that in a coffin. It's gonna look ridiculous!"
saveferris7831 October 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Wow! All I can say is "ouch". The joke is clearly ON Jersey Shore.

For those who are unaware, there is a show that has been on TV for several seasons now, called "Jersey Shore". It is 'reality' - if you can really call it that. It's focus is on several people from the New Jersey area (primarily Italian Americans) and as most exploitation type shows go, it stereotypes these people.

That said. Watching this movie without understanding that it is spoofing the TV show could result in you going outside and looking at the setting sun and asking questions like, "Was that really Paul Sorvino? Was he blackmailed into doing this? Does Joey Fatone really have a fan club? Is my food choice for tonight safe after seeing this?"

On the other hand, if you get that it is a spoof - you might really enjoy it. It's gonna be a little painful either way, but let me assure you...there are a few funny moments...but mostly moments leaving you asking how production money was put together.
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4/10
Beauty Comes From The Inside Not From A Botlle
Theo Robertson9 February 2013
With a title like this and the fact it was being broadcast on the SyFy Channel I wasn't expecting a film cruelly passed over at the Academy Awards . I was expecting some dumb entertainment with all the rabidly aesthetic appeal of BAYWATCH

To be honest dumb entertainment where you have to switch your brain off is something I did get but the main disappointment is how on earth can a bunch of young women running around in bikinis be so unattractive ? The main bimbo is Nooki ( Stop laughing ) is under the impression that a man is only attracted to a women if she has a bronze skin tone . Let me speak on behalf of 3.5 billion men and state that beauty comes from the inside and not out of a bottle of instant suntan solution . Nooki's suntan is even more distracting and unconvincing than the CGI used in the movie
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6/10
Jersey Shore Shark Attack (2012)
SnakesOnAnAfricanPlain4 August 2012
Well, if you're going to make fun bad movies, why not use them to also make fun of popular culture. Jersey Shore Shark Attack is both SCy-Fy's latest creature feature as well as being a lampoon of the popular TV show Jersey Shore. This is, for what it is, an incredible idea. Most of the time you only watch these films for the bad effects and monster attacks. Everything else is just filler. They usually cram in some mumbo jumbo science talk, or a vendetta with the beast which results in terrible performances. Here those filler scenes have been turned into bizarre and OTT parodies of people that are bizarre and OTT to begin with. It's a great way to pass the time. If you hate these people then laugh at them, if you like them you'll appreciate some of the nods it makes. There are also some cameos such as Vinny from the real life Jersey Shore playing a news reporter and reading his lines off cue cards. There's also Joey Fatone as himself in a self-deprecating role. It's a lot of fun, if you like stupid corny movies.
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10/10
One of the channel's best all-time efforts
kannibalcorpsegrinder20 August 2015
After a rare species of shark are brought up from the depths due to the renovation undertaken at a small town on the New Jersey Shore, the colorful locals band together with each other to defeat the creatures after the authorities doubt their existence.

This one is just so ridiculous and cheesy that it's worth the effort. So much good here comes by parodying the lifestyle portrayed exactly, from the spoofs of the characters from the show and its overall set-up, the mocking of the lifestyle and slang to finally the guest cameos that the utter joy gathered during those scenes provides plenty of laughs, chuckles and outrageous moments that are effective and truly funny. Beyond this, the film gets plenty to like here when it gets to the shark attacks as they're quite brutal and bloodier than expected so though it's still mostly the spreading-bloodstain-on-the-surface variety it does have some more fun stuff throughout with numerous limbs bitten off, dismembered appendages and ripped up bodies featured here which comes from some more big pluses from this one as the action is totally cheesy. That comes from the numerous encounters here, ranging from the typically shorter scenes as the group's encounter with the sharks in the caves, the brief attacks on the boating fisherman and the paddle-boat couple come off nicely while the big action scenes here are all that much more fun. There's a lot of fun to be had from their attacks on the crowded boardwalk and at the beach where there's plenty of fun throughout the scenes while the film's biggest fun-factor is the finale where the sharks attack a massive yacht, grabbing passengers off the ship and leading to a thrilling rescue before the fun of the massive shootout to stop the creatures. The sharks look cheesy and the story is cliché, but that counts more than anything else against the few small problems. While this is quite notable for trying to tie the legendary attack for historical legacy, the fact that it never actually occurred in that location is a minor stumbling block since it's an actual historical date that is rewritten into the film to account for their appearance at that point in time, yet this never really holds this down as it's not important to know this to affect the film. Far more damaging is the sharks themselves, which look cheesy through utterly terrible and atrocious CGI that never looks realistic and the fish-eye-view shots are distracting with the karma symbol flashing up on-screen every time. This is the real problematic area of the film.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Violence, Graphic Language and Nudity.
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8/10
Fun and Funny!
kastani17 August 2015
I watched this as part of the SyFy channel's Shark Week lineup. You can imagine the list of titles that week: Sharktopus, 2-Headed Shark Attack, 3-Headed Shark Attack, Sharknado, Sharknado 2, Sharknado 3, Mega Shark, Mecha Shark, etc. Is there a name for this genre of movie? There are not trying to be Jaws, and if you watch them expecting a Spielberg movie, you deserve to be disappointed. They need to be rated within their genre, accepting that they are low budget monster movies based on ridiculous premises with D-list or unknown actors. Now, within this genre, this is really one of the better movies. It does a spot on spoof of the whole Jersey Shore phenomenon, and actually bothers trying to come up with a back story for the shark attacks. Watch this in the spirit of silliness and enjoy it!
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8/10
Clever but one aspect
npacione17 July 2014
The 1916 Shark Attacks did happen though -- the director if he wanted to do this film I think he should had gotten the definitive book on these shark attacks. this was a fun movie for the kind of horror film it is because you normally don't get the humor mixed in with there unless it was Deep Blue Sea or JAWS.

Anchor Bay's entry in this genre I have it admit I am a little impressed; but if the guys who wrote this film want information where they can get this book I am going to do additional notes with The Decade Treatment of my first anthology as I've contributed to the killer shark genre myself. Though I the director of Ghost Shark should had did a search on the web to see if the supernatural shark story hasn't been done before or not because I wrote this kind of story nine years earlier in 2004. So I grabbed this when I came back from Richmond, Virgina, it is not a bad buy for $7 at Walmart. For an R rated movie there is no swearing in the damn thing.

Deep Blue Sea is a little more hardcore but this is better than the Shark Attack movies. I do want to get a hold of the director of this movie and track down Dr. Richard Fernicola so the guy can have both of us as consultants on shark attack behaviour because sharks don't attack humans unprovoked unless you're dealing with a bull shark. So what they captured is the bull shark aggression and temperament.
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10/10
Best movie I've watched in forever.
kittenpryde2322 August 2013
I'm surprised at its negative review, for I haven't seen such a serious movie. My heart stopped when I thought that it was over. Luckily, no such thing happened. I'm unsure if there's a sequel, if there isn't I'm surprised. I'd recommend this movie to any friend. It's so draw-dropping phenomenal that I want to watch it again. 10/10, don't not watch this movie. I watched this on TV this afternoon, and I just couldn't get off the couch. Now I find myself inquiring if I should kick- start a sequel. I hope that one day they realize the potential of this series, perhaps a trilogy. An unforgettable trilogy. It's full of suspense and awe, I can't believe I just found it.
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