5.1/10
3,108
134 user 49 critic

The VelociPastor (2018)

Trailer
1:41 | Trailer
After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. At first horrified by this new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime. And ninjas.

Director:

Brendan Steere

Writer:

Brendan Steere
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Popularity
3,514 ( 613)
1 win & 2 nominations. See more awards »

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Cast

Credited cast:
Alyssa Kempinski ... Carol
Greg Cohan ... Doug Jones (as Gregory James Cohan)
Aurelio Voltaire ... Altair
Claire Hsu ... Chinese Villager
Nicholas M. Garofolo ... Hobo
Daniel Steere Daniel Steere ... Father Stewart
Jesse Turits ... Sam the White Ninja
Fernando Pacheco De Castro Fernando Pacheco De Castro ... Frankie Mermaid
Kurt Voltmann Kurt Voltmann ... Goliath
Douglas Saint James Douglas Saint James ... Surgeon
Janice Young Janice Young ... Doug's Mom
David Sokol David Sokol ... Ali
George Schewnzer George Schewnzer ... Doug's Dad
Alec Lambert Alec Lambert ... Thug
Zachary Steere Zachary Steere ... Dinosaur Suit Performer
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Storyline

After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. At first horrified by this new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime. And ninjas.

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

Evolution? Maybe. See more »


Parents Guide:

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Did You Know?

Trivia

Most of the scratches on the film were achieved manually by Brendan Steere dragging the unprocessed film along surfaces in his bathroom, for it was the only room in his apartment with no windows and therefore dark enough to not expose the raw film. See more »

Goofs

At the 29:50 mark, Fr. Doug quotes two passages and cites Leviticus 24:25 and Matthew 32:6. Neither verses exist. Leviticus 24 has only 23 verses, and Matthew has only 28 chapters. See more »

Quotes

Doug Jones: What is it that you'd like to confess?
Frankie Mermaid: Ah, geez, I guess we could cover the last... four days? I stole candy from this baby, then I threw the baby in the river - so it couldn't snitch, obviously - then, ah, well, I pimp bitches, do drugs, sell drugs, murder people - really, you name it, I've done it, padre.
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Connections

References Miami Connection (1987) See more »

User Reviews

 
10 STARS - ABSOLUTE GARBAGE. A MUST-WATCH
18 January 2020 | by info-95437See all my reviews

This is nothing but a hilarious ride from start to finish, a mangled heap of god-awful props, dialogue, costuming, lighting, special effects, and acting jammed into an inexplicable plot by a genius director who manages to make a very bad movie on purpose without any shred of pretense or shame. The ninja fight scene is what Mortal Kombat would look like if it got hijacked by a kindergarten drama class.

Watch this movie. It's terrible. It's schlocky. You'll love it.


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Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Why?
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Details

Country:

USA | China

Language:

English | Cantonese | Mandarin | Korean

Release Date:

13 August 2019 (USA) See more »

Also Known As:

The VelociPastor See more »

Company Credits

Show more on IMDbPro »

Technical Specs

Runtime:

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.78 : 1
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