If you recognize the line in my title then you might want to turn away because you won't be able to sit through this movie with a straight face. Through no fault of "Rosewood Lane" which otherwise is a good thriller, it dives into a plot that seems so preposterous that it became the running gag in the hilarious 80s dark comedy "Better Off Dead". That plot is, of course, that a supernatural psycho paperboy terrorizes the town.
Excuse me, I just spewed milk out my nose.
OK getting serious for a minute, "Rosewood Lane" handles itself very well. It should be noted that it is NOT a horror movie; it's a thriller. And, as the filmmakers explain in the "Making Of" feature, that means it has a slower pace, more character development and more atmospheric investment than the average slasher. Aside from a death in the opening scene, half the movie focuses on the main character's psychological complexities (growing up abused, dealing with newly surfaced demons of her past, a failed relationship, issues of professional ethics, and perhaps a slight nod to her OCD). While this side of the movie doesn't provide many popcorn spilling shockers, I thought it was a new & interesting angle of approaching the protagonist. In a sentence: she's just 1 psychology degree away from the looney bin, herself.
So when she starts seeing a psycho paperboy stalking her around every corner, we're not quite sure how much is real and how much is delusion. I think Rose McGowan did an excellent job of playing a tough, mentally guarded character who is overcompensating for deep, suppressed issues which she probably hasn't conquered as she'd like to claim.
Another good acting job comes from Daniel Ross Owens (creepy paperboy) who, though perhaps looking too old for the role, pulls off the psychotic thing really well, particularly in an awesome "laugh" he delivers toward the end. You'll know the one I'm talking about.
So in the end I recommend this movie to anyone who is not expecting a horror flick but rather a slow moving thriller with some good momentum. In style/feel alone (not in story!) I might compare this to "The Sixth Sense" because it has an atmosphere of darkness with a surreal quality lighting the main actors. In other words it has a dreamlike quality to it, not stark realism. I thought that was a nice choice considering the psychological spin. In the interviews, the director mentions Hitchcock (in particular "Psycho") as perhaps a strong influence, and I can definitely see that, the way the house at Rosewood Lane becomes a sinister character itself, like the Bates Motel.
But... oh lordy help me, I just couldn't get those 80s paperboys out of my head. If you see this movie, then just for laughs afterwards, AFTERwards so not to spoil it, go to YouTube and search for "Better Off Dead two dollars" and you'll see what I mean. Even the foot-in- the-door gag is there, making me wonder if it was a direct homage. Well you know what they say... ghoulies & ghosties & long legged beasties & paperboys who go bump in the night...
