Rooney Mara: Catherine
Catherine : I'm gonna fucking kill you. I'm gonna fucking kill you. It's not funny, don't laugh. I'm gonna fucking kill you. I'm gonna fucking kill you. I love you so much I'm gonna fucking kill you.
Uncomfortable Waitress : How are you guys doing here?
Catherine : Fine. We're fine. We used to be married, but he couldn't handle me, he wanted to put me on Prozac and now he's madly in love with his laptop.
Theodore : Well, if you'd heard the conversation in context... What I was trying to say...
Catherine : You always wanted to have a wife without the challenges of actually dealing with anything real and I'm glad that you found someone. It's perfect.
Uncomfortable Waitress : Let me know if I can get you guys anything.
Catherine : So what's she like?
Theodore : Well, her name's Samantha and she's an Operating System. She's really complex and interesting...
Catherine : Wait... I'm sorry. You're dating your computer?
Theodore : She's not just a computer, she's her own person. She doesn't just do whatever I say.
Catherine : I didn't say that. But it does make me very sad that you can't handle real emotions, Theodore.
Theodore : They are real emotions! How would you know what...
Catherine : What? Say it. Am I really that scary? Say it. How do I know what?
Catherine : So are you, um... are you seeing anybody?
Theodore : Yeah, um, I've been seeing somebody for the last few months. Longest I've wanted to be with somebody since we split up.
Catherine : Well, you seem really good.
Theodore : Thanks. I, um... at least, I'm doing better. Yeah, she's been really good for me, you know? It's just... it's good to be with somebody that's excited about life. She's a real, um...
Theodore : No. I mean, I wasn't in such a good place myself, and in that way it's been nice.
Catherine : I think you always wanted me to be this... this light, happy, bouncy, "everything's fine", L.A. wife and that's just not me.
Theodore : I didn't want that.
Catherine : [to Theodore, in flashback] Rabbit, come spoon me.