Dude-Guy: Talkin' about Africa don't make you more black.
Bro: I was just drawing a parallel.
Dude-Guy: OH, now you're drawin'? You an artist, too? Is that your major?
Bro: No, it's Linguistics. What's yours?
Dude-Guy: Gun Repair. It's a certificate course.
Dude-Guy: HEY! Some people like to shoot heroin - personally, I prefer cocaine - but I DO like to shoot guns.
Buddy: And someday, you'll have your very own certificate that says you're qualified to repair them, too.
Officer Girth: Gonna need you to pop the hood.
Dude-Guy: Want me to check it out? I work at a muffler shop. I recently got promoted.
Officer Girth: Now there's something you certainly don't read in the obits every day...
G.G.: One gunshot from a shotgun - senseless. So how d' you make this make sense? Take your time. Time your take. Some call it mean. I call it meaningful. Take my meaning?
Bags: I wish that owl would shut the f*ck up.
Bro: You know what Thoreau said about owls?
Bags: That he wished they would shut the f*ck up?