Heidi, a radio DJ, is sent a box containing a record - a "gift from the Lords". The sounds within the grooves trigger flashbacks of her town's violent past. Is Heidi going mad, or are the Lords back to take revenge on Salem, Massachusetts?
Five carnival workers are kidnapped and held hostage in an abandoned, Hell-like compound where they are forced to participate in a violent game, the goal of which is to survive twelve hours against a gang of sadistic clowns.
Jeff Daniel Phillips
The Zombie Horror Picture Show is the first concert film by metal artist Rob Zombie, released May 19, 2014 on DVD and Blu-ray. Track list . Teenage Nosferatu Pussy . Superbeast . Super ... See full summary »
Heidi, a blond rock chick, DJs at a local radio station, and together with the two Hermans (Whitey and Munster) forms part of the "Big H Radio Team." A mysterious wooden box containing a vinyl record arrives for Heidi, a gift of the Lords. She assumes it's a rock band on a mission to spread their word. As Heidi and Whitey play the Lords' record, it starts to play backwards, and Heidi experiences a flashback to a past trauma. Later, Whitey plays the Lords' record, dubbing them the Lords of Salem, and to his surprise, the record plays normally and is a massive hit with his listeners. The arrival of another wooden box from the Lords presents the Big H team with free tickets, posters and records to host a gig in Salem. Soon, Heidi and her cohorts are far from the rock spectacle they're expecting. The original Lords of Salem are returning and they're out for blood.Written by
On her web biography page, Heidi's name is spelled Adelheid Elizabeth Hawthroen instead of Hawthorne. See more »
Reverend Jonathan Hawthorne:
As I write these very words, the witch, Margaret Morgan, gathers with her coven of six deep within the woods surrounding our beloved Salem. The blasphemous music echoes in my mind, driving me to the point of insanity. I, Jonathan Hawthorne, swear before the eyes of God, on this this day in the year of our Lord 1696, to destroy all persons who choose to pledge allegiance to the demon Satan and his spectral army!
See more »
The closing credits appear over gloomy images of Salem. See more »
I can start by saying, at least at times this movie was a visual treat. I can't say all the time, though. The majority of this movie was Sheri wandering around aimlessly from location to location, where the script highlighted her laughably bad acting. I can't say she is by any means a bad actress, this movie just never gave her an opportunity other than to sleepwalk. Sleepwalking is probably the best way to describe this film, which takes a rather interested premise and manages to bore the death out of everyone with it. Literally the only saving grace is the orgasmic last 1/6th of the movie, without it this score would've been borderline 1. Also, I will add, for a musician to be making this film, I expected a far greater soundtrack.
Where did this go wrong? First thing comes to mind is the decision to make this a feature film. This film had about as much content as a short film, and if it would've stuck to this route, IMO, it would've been much better. The film almost consists of entirely filler. The first time we are introduced to the Salem witches it is a visual treat, the 10th time it has long warn thin. I'm just wondering why Hollywood can't seem to make a witch movie right. The Craft is usually pointed to, but upon second viewing the Craft is nothing special. Don't bring up Hocus Pocus, either. It seems that witch movies tend to be so poorly done, and it is such a shame. I really wanted Lords of Salem to bring something new to the table.
What we got instead was every horror cliché in the book, terrible acting, horrific soundtrack, filled with at least an hour of pointless filter.
This film far from accomplishes what it set out to do, though, I must admit, towards the end I had a smile on my face. It was a sad reminder of exactly what this film could've been. 4 out of 10.
14 of 19 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful to you?
| Report this