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Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse (2015) Poster

Quotes

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Ben: [Augie puts a bomb on the floor] What is that?

Augie: It's a bomb.

Carter: What are you, the Taliban?

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Ben: [seeing Scout Leader Rogers, now a zombie, on the road] That's Scout Leader Rogers!

Carter: He looks like shit!

Augie: I set him on fire.

[everyone looks at him]

Augie: He tried to eat me!

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Carter: [staring at a female zombie police officer's bare breasts] Oh, my Lord...

Ben: Carter, let's go!

Carter: [fondles her breasts and runs away] I touched them! I don't think they were real!

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Carter: [Posing in the jail cell trying to take a selfie, one of the zombies grabs his shoulder] Dude, what the fuck? Haven't you had enough to eat? Jesus

Ben: Carter, stop agitating them.

Carter: What? I need a new profile pic.

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Augie: We're fine! Everything's under control!

[a zombie jumps through a window and attacks]

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Ben: Guys, let's go. We gotta get to the party

Augie: Ben, this is a suicide mission.

Ben: Guys, they're gonna bomb this whole town in less than two hours.

Carter: What if Denise reaches the military in time?

Ben: And what if she doesn't, Carter? Then what? Who's gonna save them? The police? They're gone. The military? They're not coming, either. Guys we're the last line of defense. And so what? Maybe we look like dorks in these uniforms. And maybe we're a big joke to everyone at school. But tonight, we're gonna show them what being a real Scout's all about. So, are we just gonna stand here with our thumbs up our asses? Or are we gonna go out there and save the world?

Carter: Fuck yeah, dude!

Augie: It was a really good speech, Ben.

Ben: Thanks, Augie.

Carter: Let's do it.

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Carter: [Freaking out after being attacked by zombie, his face covered in blood] Fuck!

Denise: Calm the fuck down!

Ben: Calm down? Are you crazy? We almost just got killed in there!

Denise: [Points to Ben's car] Is that your ride?

Ben: Can you please just tell us what the hell is going on?

Carter: Anyone? I really need to wash off my face right now!

Denise: [Looks back at Ben] Keys, now!

Ben: Not until you tell us what's happening.

Carter: A wet nap! Anyone got a wet nap?

[Pulls a bandana from pocket and uses that]

Denise: What the fuck do you think is happening? Everyone's eating each other.

Ben: Wait... Like a...

Denise: YES! Like that!

Ben: But that's not possible...

Carter: I think it's possible Ben. A dead stripper just tried to eat my face!

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Augie: It's the zombie apocalypse! Come on, we're scouts! We're trained for this!

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Ben: All right, scouts. Let's kick some zombie ass!

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Carter: [giving money to a stripper, unaware that she's a zombie] Don't worry, mommy! Daddy's here! This is fucking awesome!

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[last lines]

Kendall Grant: [after Ben kissed her] Who are you?

Ben: I'm a Scout!

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Spoilers 

The quote item below may give away important plot points.

[post credits scene; Rogers' head is lying on a sandy hill with the blown up building from before behind him. Rogers is heard grumbling until bird feces lands on his cheek]

Scout Leader Rogers: [last words] Oh, come on... The end.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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