Robin Scherbatsky: I am never going to have closure. Okay, closure doesn't exist. One day, Don and I are moving into together, and the next thing I know, he's on a plane to Chicago. It just... ended. And, no matter how much I try to forget that it happened, it will have never not happened. Don and I will always be a loose end. We will always be...
[Shot to Ted giving a lecture]
Ted Mosby: Unfinished. Gaudí, to his credit, never gave up on his dream. But that's not usually how it goes. Usually it isn't a speeding bus that keeps the brown, pointy, weird church from getting built. Most of the time it's just too difficult, too expensive, too scary. It's only once you've stopped that you realize how hard it is to start again, so you force yourself not to want it. But it's always there. And until you finish it, it will always be...
[Ted stops speaking and runs out of the classroom to take Barney's job offer. On his way over the street, he almost gets hit by a bus. He looks at it for a second to take in the dramatic irony before he continues to run]
Ted Mosby: Barney wants me to take the job so bad he's putting the moves on me?
Marshall Eriksen: I hope that's his endgame. Actually, I don't. I like you two together!
Robin Scherbatsky: So, at any point in this, did you say, "Barney, I know what you're doing, and it's not gonna work. I'm not taking that job?"
Ted Mosby: Uh, I mean, not exactly in those...
Lily Aldrin: You're loving this!
Ted Mosby: No...
Lily Aldrin: You are! You are loving the attention.
Ted Mosby: It's nice nice to be wanted! Okay? And yes, this is a new vest, thank you all for noticing. Oh, that's right: You didn't. Barney did.
Robin Scherbatsky: Oh, Teddy. You are so gonna spread your legs and design that building.
Ted Mosby: [gasps] I am not that kind of architect!
[gets up and exits the room furiously]
Lily Aldrin: [Ted has decided not to take GNB's offer to design the headquarters again] But designing a building in New York City is your lifelong dream.
Ted Mosby: I do not want to work for GNB again. Those guys are evil. No offense, Marshall.
Marshall Eriksen: Dude, None taken. Yes, GNB is the Empire from Star Wars, but the Death Star is gonna get built either way, and don't you think the architect of the Death Star is pretty psyched to have that thing on his space resume. I mean, yes, his design was flawed in the sense that he let a single bullet fire into a particular vent that would explode the whole thing...
Ted Mosby: For all we know, that was the contractor's fault.
Marshall Eriksen: ...But that won't happen on your watch, 'cause you're Ted Mosby, and you're gonna design the most beautiful, ventless, Rebel-proof building in Manhattan... with clearly-marked emergency stops for every trash compactor on the detention level.
Barney Stinson: Ted I admire your loyalty. You've had that hairstyle forever. You don't care that it's out of style or that it's been co-opted by the lesbian community. You stick with it. To Ted!
Ted Mosby: All that stupid crap they tell you about how fulfilling teaching is, it's all true.
Robin Scherbatsky: 'This just in' is what I'm going to say when I'm stabbing you.
Barney Stinson: Golden Rule. I do not buy dinner to get the Yes. Dinner is a very intimate activity. It requires a level of connection and eye contact that sex just doesn't.
Robin Scherbatsky: [Another voice mail to Don] I want to say, from the bottom of my heart, I am gonna kill you- No, I'm not. I am happy for you- and that Asian slut on your Facebook page, she's dead too.
Ted Mosby: [Sees Barney in his classroom] What are you doing here? Oh, God! You're dating one of my students. It's Rachel, isn't it? Barney, I know she wears provocative sweaters, but she's 19! Now I'm gonna have to hear all about it, right? Go on. Tell me every detail.
Barney Stinson: Do you remember how awesome it was to be coworkers, nay... Bro-workers?
Robin Scherbatsky: [On Don's voice-mail] I'm going to kill you, fly to Chicago, kill you, put your face on a deep-dish pizza and eat it. And then maybe catch a Bears Game, but mostly the killing and eating your face thing.