The Inbetweeners Movie (2011)
Mr. Gilbert: This isn't The Dead Poets Society and I am not that bloke on bbc2 keeps getting kids to sing in choirs. I especially don't want to hear how well you are settling down at uni or how much growing up you have done in the past 12 months. At best I am ambivalent towards most of you, but some of you I actively dislike, for no other reason than your poor personal hygiene or your irritating personalities. I hope I have made myself clear on this point and in case any of you think I am joking, I am not. I assure you, once my legal obligation to look after you best interests is removed, I can be one truly nasty fucker. Good luck with the rest of your lives and try not to kill anyone, it reflects very badly on all of us here.
Jay Cartwright: Don't you know about foreign police? They take you up a hill, beat you up and then they bum you!
Neil Sutherland: Yeah. and if they don't kill you, you kill yourself because of the shame of you getting a boner whilst you was being bummed!
Neil Sutherland: I stopped believing in god when I realised it was just dog backwards.
Jay Cartwright: This girl's so wet for me I can hear the waves breaking in her fanny.
Will McKenzie: So smelling like an industrial accident in a Lynx factory and looking like the world's shittest boyband, we hit the town.
Will McKenzie: I like football, but I don't like Burnley. Burnley can f*ck off.
Simon Cooper: She's also really funny.
Lucy: In what way?
Simon Cooper: Well, you know when something's funny, and people get it?
Simon Cooper: So in that way. And also in a comedy way.
Jay Cartwright: You better bring your wellies, because you'll be knee-deep in clunge.
Middle-Aged Woman: [a woman who is at least in her fifties leaves the group's hotel after sleeping with Neil]
Middle-Aged Woman: Don't worry lads, kitty won't bite. Not now she's been fed.
Will McKenzie: First stop the Minoan palace in Knossos.
Jay Cartwright: We haven't come half way round the world to look at some fucking Greek ruins.
Neil Sutherland: Yeah you can see that shit anywhere.
James: You better watch you don't fall overboard.
Jane: Or what? I'll get harpooned because someone will mistake me for a whale? Someone will think they've discovered a new island? All the water will splash over onto the boat? I've heard them all. Take your pick.
Will McKenzie: That's it! Neil, you're right. It may not be paradise, but it's time we started enjoying this place for what it is.
Simon Cooper: A shithole?
Will McKenzie: Yes, but it's our shithole! So I say, we get out there, and get royally fucked up on Jay's dead grandad's money!
Carli D'Amato: Simon we need to talk.
Simon Cooper: Oh no not talking.
Carli D'Amato: I think we should break up.
Will McKenzie: [Narrating] Jay and Neil never told us how close they came to Fernando's cock. But they did say they could smell it. And they were still having more fun than us.