World Cup Football
2.30pm, ITV1; 7pm, BBC1
Lock up your soccerphobes, apparently there's some football on … Yep, Africa's first World Cup kicks off in earnest, beginning on ITV where Adrian Chiles and pals are at Johannesburg's magnificent Soccer City to see if the unending hum of the vuvuzelas will propel the unfancied hosts past Mexico. Later, the Beeb debuts its – no doubt ornate – title sequence as a preface to 2006 finalists France taking on Diego Forlán's Uruguay. Allez!
All kinds of things disappear down the backs of sofas: pound coins, fluff-encrusted lollipops, diamond earrings. Could the entire human race slip under the cushions, never to return? That's the premise of this surreal children's show, in which would-be TV presenter Rufus (Rufus Hound) finds his first day on a new science programme interrupted by having