Bullet Train Down

When I saw the title of this 2022 movie, I must admit that my thoughts were immediately 'okay, The Asylum is now cashing in on the Bullet Train movie'. Yet, I still opted to give "Bullet Train Down" a chance, on the account of it being a movie that I hadn't seen, nor actually ever heard about prior to sitting down to watch.

And my initial thoughts were true, because this movie was The Asylum cashing in on the Brad Pitt movie "Bullet Train", except they also rip off "Speed". Yeah, the storyline in "Bullet Train Down" is a blantant rip off of the old Keanu Reeves movie "Speed", except this story takes place on a bullet train and not on a bus. So much for originality from writer Alex Heerman, huh?

While The Asylum definitely have a lot of dubious movies to their name, then I will honestly say that "Bullet Train Down" wasn't all that bad. Cheesy and corny, sure, but it was watchable and entertaining enough for the cheese that it was. Not exactly a great movie, mind you.

The acting performances in the movie were somewhat all over the place. Some of the actors and actresses couldn't muster a performance that would fool a blind man, while others were doing all the heavy lifting and carrying the movie almost singlehandedly. Rashod Freelove definitely carried the movie with his performance, alongside with Xander Bailey. Tom Sizemore was the only familiar face for me on the cast list, but his acting in this movie was just laughably bad and wooden.

Visually then "Bullet Train Down" was actually an okay movie, especially taking into consideration some of the numerous older movies that The Asylum have been churning out. Sure, you're not in for a CGI spectacle here, but the CGI effects worked well enough in favor of the movie. However, it should be noted that you will not buy into believing that the movie ever took place inside a train, because the sets were just so horribly amateurish and looked like they cleared out someone's living room and built up what was supposed to be the cabin of a bullet train. It just didn't fool anyone.

"Bullet Train Down" is the type of movie that you will watch once, then shelf it, forget about and never bring it out to see the light of day ever again.

My rating of director Brian Novak's 2022 movie "Bullet Train Down" lands on a four out of ten stars.

Okay, a narrative about something something a train, and forgive me if this is a spoiler, but... they die if the train stops. Not ground breaking, kinda boring actually... but what is the deal with the budget in this "movie"? It feels like a cheap group youtube video, the actors are so bad, the props are so bad, everything feels so cheap. Especially the writing. 30 minutes in and I couldn't take it anymore, there wasn't a SINGLE line of dialogue that was funny, interesting or clever in any way at at all, it was just dead text on a paper. And some "WTF" moments that make absolutely no sense at all like rocks randomly flying into the train for no reason at all. How? Why? What? Loud bomb noises in the back of the train "uh what was that noise, was it a bomb?" idiot kid says "BOMB????" why are these people so dumb. Then some other guy says "it's ok, the train would stop if there was something bad" oh you mean apart from a window shattering and a loud bomb explosion and train shaking, or the person in front of you bleeding, yeah everything is perfectly fine. I just want to grab these people and strangle them for being so dumb. And the dialogues are so unnatural too. Even the premise is unnatural, people acting all amazed at a train going 200 mph.... woohoo... who cares. Go in europe or asia if you wanna go on a fast train. Ok maybe not europe. Really, a plane can go way faster and fly but you don't see people being amazed at that (anymore) at least not for the last 50-100 years. It's just a train, calm down.

I will give it credit for a scene where a person gets strangled and they actually struggle instead of just immediately dying without any problems. I can't give it 1 star since i didn't see any blatant sexism/racism/etc... at least not yet, i quit after 30 minutes.

But hey maybe the "movie" works if you wanna get down with your friends and watch a laughingly bad movie and make fun of it. How many bad things can you spot?

This is a low budget film and not get any interest. Also the actors can not act well. The funniest thing is the FBI part. There is a bus infront of the FBI office. And also that bus is going every time. That means that clip is a repeated one. Do not get this film. Not recommend at all. Also there was a bomb :D. Funny thing is that bomb can see any one in the sky lol. Even train has a bomb there is no any police department, FBI vehicles or any forces except airforce. Also FBI man is drinking some thing every time. I thing that one is also a repeated clip. Script is also not ok. I have watched something similar to this film and that film is a great one. Again do not watch this.

This is one of the stupidest movies i've ever seen. The acting was horrible, and fake and ai was used for all of the outside footage. And it wasn't even good AI, it was bad AI, a child could've have created that! I can't even believe I sat through the whole movie. The main reason I did was just to see how much more stupid it was going to get, and it didn't disappoint me. Not only was the acting terrible, but you never saw a wide angled shot inside the train! Every shot inside the train was close up, in the face of the actor and you never saw the entire train car or an aisle in the train, the most you saw was two, maybe three seats, and all of the shots were close up. I was annoyed by that. I definitely would not watch this movie. It would be a waste of your time.

Asylums newest movie is a parody of the title with brad pitt, with elements of speed mixed in. Ill say one thing. The quality is actually pretty good, the train interior and some of the camera shots are shot quite nicely. Acting was ok and the cgi stills has elements that made me laugh. The problem I found with this film though really was just the story. I just didn't find it as interesting as the creature ones. But having said that its still and interesting watch with some surprises along the way.