Three buddies wake up from a bachelor party in Las Vegas, with no memory of the previous night and the bachelor missing. They make their way around the city in order to find their friend before his wedding.
6 Los Angeles celebrities are stuck in James Franco's house after a series of devastating events just destroyed the city. Inside, the group not only will have to face with the apocalypse, but with themselves.
John makes a Christmas miracle happen by bringing his one and only friend to life, his teddy bear. The two grow up together and John must then choose to stay with his girlfriend or keep his friendship with his crude and extremely inappropriate teddy bear, Ted.Written by
When we see Ted and John in John's younger room, there is an Indiana Jones poster on the wall. See more »
Lori gets out of the shower with full make up on. See more »
[after a TV falls on John]
Why are you crying?
My dick was squished by the TV.
See more »
At the start of the movie, the Universal 'planet earth' signature sequence appears, and the narration begins. As the narration continues, the camera zooms in to the logo, "Google Earth Style" eventually centering on the action in the young John Bennet's home town. See more »
The 114-minute "Unrated" version has the following changes:
There some extra dialogue between the bully and Greenbaum where the bully declares for his Christmas gift - his face in Greenbaum's face.
Just before young John enters the kitchen, there's an exchange between Steve and Helen. After some implications they get straight to the fact that Helen performed oral sex on Steve the previous evening.
There is a Japanese news report after the Action News Georgia segment where the female Japanese anchor gets slapped by her male counterpart for mistakenly calling Ted a "rabbit".
Donny's flashback is revealed and included. In the theatrical version, what he describes to Ted about his fascination is only spoken.
Murphy's talk about his connection with Tom Skerritt is extended with him talking about the privileges being with him.
There's a little extension of John's "So bad, but so good" commentary where both him and Ted started singing part of the Flash Gordon theme song. John then exclaims, "Fuck yeah!"
In bed with Lori, John has a replacement line, "I'm a fucking classy broad" and an additional line, "I've been crapping out room for it for two days. I mean, I know exactly what I'm going to order." There is also additional dialogue from John once thunder is heard.
In Rex's office room, he takes out his magnifying glass and shows his "root" on the photo. After Lori leaves, he takes a short smell on the chair she sat on.
In the dinner with John and Lori, there is additional dialog by John referring to the Virgina Tech University shooting.
In the theatrical release, Lori sees a pile of feces on the floor while Ted is with four hookers at their apartment. Ted explains that Charene, the Asian hooker, defecated on the floor as part of a "truth or dare" game. In the unrated version, Ted explains that a fifth hooker named Dierdre did the mess and locked herself in the bathroom. Lori is also more furious in this scene.
Before Ted goes for the interview for the supermarket job, John responds to the attorney proposal that Ted spoke of.
In the scene where Ted and John watch the 'Cheers' DVD boxed set, Ted Danson's TV interview is longer, with Ted and John interrupting in between.
During dinner, Tami-Lynn talks about her friend's miscarriage so that she can join her for a trip. There's also more cussing by her while Ted persuades her to leave.
In the party at Rex's house, Lori's three colleagues have a conversation about Rex's one night stand locations.
In the theatrical version, Ted says that he met Norah Jones at Belinda Carlisle's house. In the unrated version, he says that he met her at a charity event for kids screwed up by a family member, and they had sex at the back room.
After John and Lori drive off to find Ted, Ted tries to escape again but stumbles upon the basement full of tattered teddy bears that belong to Donny.
Near the end, the newly-wed Lori throws a bouquet of flowers. John's co-worker Tanya grabs the bouquet before an unhappy Tami-Lynn beats her up.
So, was it worth my while investing 106 minutes of my life on this one? I have to say, on balance; not really. Yes there are some wonderfully comic moments and smart one-liners in there but I did find it drifted far too much from the sublime to the ridiculous. Also, one minute Ted is 'Brian' for Family Guy and the next he turns into 'Peter Griffin' from the same show (despite his denials). I thought both Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis did a good job; both of their characters were quite believable. Ultimately though I did find it lacked the one thing it so desperately needed; heart. Still, I'm sure the many devotees of 'Family Guy' will love this one but for me, sadly, it's a bit of a dud.
SteelMonster's verdict: NOT RECOMMENDED ( unless you're a really big fan of Family Guy, in which case why haven't you seen it yet!)
My score: 5.3/10
You can find an expanded version of this review on my blog: Thoughts of a SteelMonster.
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