30 Rock (TV Series)

Lee Marvin vs. Derek Jeter (2010)

Tina Fey: Liz Lemon

Quotes 

• Jenna Maroney : I could go with you, be your wingman.

  Liz Lemon : Oh, you wouldn't want to go there.

  Jenna Maroney : Oh, it would be good acting research for me. I'm up for a role in National Lampoon's Van Wilder's Wingman, Incorporated.

  Liz Lemon : I'm looking forward to not seeing that on a plane.

• Jack Donaghy : Dating is like your haircut. Sometimes awkward triangles occur.

  Liz Lemon : It feels like you've been saving that one.

  Jack Donaghy : Obviously.

• Toofer : I'm about to say two words a Harvard man would never say.

  Liz Lemon : "I'm cool"? No, I can't let you be set up like that. Don't quit.

  Toofer : I quit!

• Liz Lemon : Oh my God, I'm no better than Toofer. Or Lutz with his B.S. Inuit ancestry. Or you, whose dad was in the masons with Dave Garroway. I shouldn't be here.

  Pete Hornberger : This is America. None of us are supposed to be here.

• Liz Lemon : Happy Birthday, Jack. I got you a card. It's one of those new ones where you can record a message.

  Liz Lemon : [Jack opens the card]  "Test, test, test. This is a test for Jack's card.

  [Emphatic falsetto] 

  Liz Lemon : Wonder Woman! Excuse me, how do you re-record on these things? Whatever. I'll definitely figure it out."

• Jack Donaghy : You look like a prison weed dealer.

  Liz Lemon : I'm coming back from a singles dodgeball match, okay?

  Jack Donaghy : Good God.

  Liz Lemon : The YMCA near my apartment offers a variety of singles activities, and I am forcing myself to go to all of them.

  Jack Donaghy : Well, I'm glad you're trying. But I wish you didn't have to... Lemon, are you wearing a cup?

  Liz Lemon : [dryly]  Oh, I forgot: Only guys can get hurt there.