The Simpsons (TV Series)

Homer Scissorhands (2011)

Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, Selma Bouvier

Quotes 

• Selma Bouvier : I'd never thought I'd say this, but Homer Simpson, do me!

  [Homer puts the shears to his throat] 

  Selma Bouvier : I meant my hair.

  [Homer sighs in relief] 

• Marge Simpson : Well, Newsweek says it's good to change careers, right after they laid off all their editors.

• Marge Simpson : Oh, Homer, you make my toes curl. You really know how to please a woman.

  Homer Simpson : As long as I don't have to lose weight or change my pants.

• Marge Simpson : Homer, thanks to your unlicensed barbery, Patty and Selma have been getting compliments all day at the DMV.

  Abraham Simpson : You two look good. Open-casket good!

• Patty Bouvier : Who undid my do?

  Ned Flanders : I didn't do diddly, and certainly not squat.

• Homer Simpson : One hundred dollars? Marge, how much is that in smackeroos?

  Marge Simpson : A hundred.

  Homer Simpson : Woo hoo!

• Selma Bouvier : You did this? With your fat fingers and brain the size of a superball?

  [Cut to cross-section of Homer's head, showing brain bouncing around until it comes out his ear and bounces away] 

  Homer Simpson : And stay out!