Jupiter Ascending (2015) Poster

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5/10
Not for fans of substance, Jupiter Ascending is a glossy, entertaining, hot mess.
lnvicta5 May 2015
I'm not sure how to start this review so I'll just get right into it: This movie isn't good. It makes no sense. There is no room to get immersed in this world because there is no story to relate to. It's all just stuff happening; fluff. Beautiful, well made fluff mind you, but at its core this movie is a steaming hot mess.

Here's the plot from what I gathered: Mila Kunis is suddenly the majesty of the Earth and has to protect it from a bunch of rich douchebags that live in Jupiter's atmosphere who want to use it for harvesting grounds or something. It's a dumb plot, and every scene that tries to move the plot forward is a scene wasted. The only interesting parts of this movie are the visuals and Channing Tatum's character, but even he is given absolutely no character development. He's just a badass space agent, or something. I don't even remember.

The characters end up the same way they began - there was no journey to redemption or revelation for anyone. It was just do this, do that, stop this, go home, the end. And they try to include multiple stories, like Mila Kunis' relationship with her family (boooring); Caine (Tatum) and Stinger's (Sean Bean) history (wholly underdeveloped), the whole villain arc...

The villains in this movie are spoiled brats. Seriously. They're not scary, they're not intimidating, there was no point in the movie where I was like "oh man sh*t is about to go down"; there was just no intrigue. Their motives were all over the place. It's not worth trying to piece together every plot point they throw into the movie because it will just lead to confusion and disappointment, and eventually frustration when you realize how much potential was wasted in creating this massive universe. The lizards looked really cool. Why not have more of them? Oh we're just going to focus on the playboy brat now, okay.

I really wanted to care about this universe. It has a Star Wars vibe in parts, like the "royal" wedding scene and the space battles, but there were no good characters to experience this adventure with. You're just watching things happen with no consequences, or at least none you cared about.

The acting was fine in this movie. Channing Tatum and Sean Bean in particular gave great performances, and Eddie Redmayne as the primary antagonist was decent as well. Yeah, he's an Academy Award winner, and as much as I hate to say it I have not seen The Theory of Everything yet but I loved him in Les Mis so I was really hoping he would save this movie. Unfortunately the material he's given is absolute garbage, so in an effort to make the character stand out, Redmayne give him a weird, eerie, whisper voice that was akin to a hundred year old man trying to force words out from the back of his throat. But hey, I think it worked. The guy is completely unlikeable so might as well give him a unique trait to remember him by. Good on Mr. Redmayne because he succeeded. The only things I will remember about this movie are the cool visuals, the wasted potential, and his creepy voice.

Don't see this movie. Unless you want to see some really great CGI for a couple hours, which can be found in much better places by the way, you won't find anything worth salvaging from Jupiter Ascending. It was a nice effort but ultimately a swing and a miss.
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7/10
loved it!
tbhamfog17 June 2015
Jupiter is a fun ride. I love this kind of movie. Amazing visuals,great SciFi story line. I don't understand why people hate on this film so much. Sure there are some run of the mill plot points but i still really liked this movie, maybe people just love to hate these days. Not the worst film I've ever seen by far. I'd say ignore the haters and give it a go, make up your own mind. This film isn't in my top ten but i didn't hate it. I get the feeling that there are 'Matrix' haters stalking everything the Wachowski's do now to hate on them cause they didn't like they way the Matrix ended. FYI i like their ending. Am i the only one? I watch movies like i read books, even tho' i might not like the ending, i respect the storytellers right to tell the story they want to tell.
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6/10
An ambitious, epic universe marred by one dimensional characters and a stumbling script
cadillac203 February 2015
Warning: Spoilers
When I give this film a 6, it's being a bit generous. Trying to put myself in other people's shoes, I'd say this film probably range anywhere from a 3 to a 5, and then there will be those who hate it. Still, I am likely to lean on the side of one of the few who likes the film. But it's a mixed bag. Sure enough, the special effects, action, and other elements are fantastic. But the film does little to develop it's own character beyond their archetypes and the script seems content to stay average at best.

Jupiter Ascending actually paints a pretty fascinating sci-fi universe. As it turns out, Earth, and thousands of other worlds like it, are owned by a number of different families which act like corporations who seed these worlds. Once the worlds become over populated, their people are harvested to create a youth serum which keeps those living in the corporate society young for millennia after millennia. In this case, the Abraxis family is one of the most powerful and each of three heirs is vying for control of Earth. Standing in their way, however, is Jupiter Jones, who turns out to be the genetic reincarnation of the Abraxis' sibling's mother, and claimant to the throne of the family.

If all of that sounds like a lot to take in, it is, and easily the best part of the film. The Wachowski's have a talent for creating fascinating worlds that feel complete. Here, they have created a massive sci-fi universe the likes of which we haven't seen in at least a decade, maybe longer. It's very clear that their ambition extends beyond just this one story. In fact, there are hundreds of fascinating stories that could be told about this universe. The idea of a corporate controlled universe is timely, and where we've seen this story played out before about the giant corporation versus the little guy, it's never quite been told on this scale.

It's a shame then that this ambition is wasted on a story that doesn't seem to capitalize on such a universe. The story is good, but the script is lacking and the characters never really become all that interesting. They end up feeling like caricatures meant to introduce us to this world we've entered. They're histories are explained and they clearly have fleshed out back stories, but they feel almost lifeless in that they seem to be here only to be an aspect of this world and not a full character. Even as a lead character, Channing Tatum as Caine feels like little more than a body meant to perform choreography and defend Milas Kunis' Jupiter. At the very least, Jupiter is a sympathetic character who shows shades of change, but even she often feels like little more than a narrator meant to ask question for exposition purposes. Eddie Redmayne seems to have the juiciest part, and though he still seems to be a one dimensional villain, he shows emotional depth that the other characters lack.

Most people I suspect will have trouble forgiving the lack of a truly meaningful script and characters that are too one dimensional. But the good news is that the film isn't a complete loss. The action, which the Wachowski's have proved to have a handle on, is fantastic. This is Star Wars level stuff, with space battles and well choreographed martial art duels. The cool tech thrown in, like the gravity boots, add some imaginative spice that once again shows the Wachowski's propensity for finding ways to justify making a 12 year old's imagination a reality. It's some truly fun stuff. Likewise, the world we're introduced to looks fantastic. The special effects make believable some very interesting and exciting details, such as the multitude of gadgets and weapons we're witness to. It's clear that the Wachowski's have set out to create a unique universe, and in my estimation, they have succeeded. I'm a sucker for this kind of world crafting, and so they get higher marks from me.

Of course, I can see why the film was pushed back to the dumping grounds of February. This was meant to be a summer blockbuster, but up against so many big, successful films, it would have a hard time competing. I have the distinct feeling this is going to be a film that gets left behind this year, especially in favor of bigger films being released throughout 2015. Had the film been more focused on it's characters and less on exposition of the universe we're witnessing, then I feel it could have succeeded and become a modern sci-fi classic. But as is, it falls short. Honestly, I do hope for a sequel to this, if only to see this universe continue to get development. Perhaps a sequel would fulfill the ambition the Wachowski's clearly seek to build upon.
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8/10
Not a classic of the genre but very entertaining
QuentinCrisp11 October 2015
This film is basically a mash-up of Dune, John Carter and Doctor Who (and quite a few others). And a very well made and hugely entertaining mash-up at that. I enjoyed it. Not a classic of the genre but very entertaining - although I can understand some people getting upset at not being able to follow the somewhat demanding, fast paced, multi-level story, whispered dialogue, and unconventional narrative. I especially liked the neat blend of science fiction and fantasy and the nice fairy tale vibe. I loved those dragons. I enjoyed it about as much as I enjoyed Blade Runner and The Fifth Element. It certainly does not deserve some of the ridiculously negative reviews that I have seen. Which just goes to show it is all a question of personal taste I suppose.
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4/10
It could have been amazing. It could have become a blockbuster franchise. It could have boosted the Wachowskis' careers. But that's all Jupiter Ascending is.
moviexclusive4 February 2015
I'll be upfront and warn those contemplating watching Jupiter Ascending that you need to go in with low expectations to enjoy the film. Unless your idea of what makes a film good is huge explosions, pretty characters prancing around in elaborate costumes and beautiful visuals. After all, who cares about plot, lines and pacing right?

Jupiter Ascending is really very much a visual feast but nothing more than that. The action sequences are generally well paced and I applaud the fact that CGI for the actions were kept minimal. The costumes are stunning (as are the actors).

Which is a great pity because, on paper, Jupiter Ascending really had potential.

For a start, like all sci-fi films, Jupiter Ascending is ambitious in its storytelling. An entirely different reality of an alternative universe with its own ecosystem, species and history is created. There are soldiers spliced with animal DNAs such as Caine (Channing Tatum) who has some wolf in him and Stinger (Sean Bean) who has some bee in him (guess where they got their names from?). There was potential to explore and mine all that richness for more stories but this is undermined by the weak delivery of the first film in what the studios were probably hoping would be a new franchise.

While the plot of Jupiter Ascending was hackneyed, it had pretty interesting characters whose backstories would have been fun for the audience to explore. I could have seen the many fanfiction pieces that fans would have spun off from the story of Caine, Jupiter and the Abrasax family. Let's be honest, the basic plot line of The Matrix, the film franchise that the Wachowskis are renowned for, was pretty cliché too – the story of a Chosen One who comes out of nowhere and whose destiny is to save the world. It was the treatment of this plot premise (as well as really cool action sequences and visuals) that made The Matrix such a groundbreaking series. Jupiter Ascending's basic plot premise was this too but the treatment was a complete letdown.

The cast is also one that is renowned for not just their good looks but also their ability to act. Somehow though, the directors succeeded in not tapping on that ability. I can't help but wonder what kind of directions Andy and Lana Wachowskis gave Eddie Radmayne for me to give such an exaggerated and overly affected performance as Balem. It reminds me somewhat chillingly of how Natalie Portman almost killed her career with her expressionless and emotionless turn as Amidala in the Stars Wars prequel trilogy. At least Radmayne has The Theory of Everything that is out in the same season and that can probably help cushion the fallout from Jupiter Ascending.

To the Wachowskis' credit, Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum have some chemistry. While their performances are not going to garner them any Oscars, they put in decent performances to, I think, ward off any Razzie nominations. It also helps that they are pretty easy on the eye. Apart from these three actors, it is hard to discern the performances put in by the rest of the cast as their characters do not appear to add to the story. It makes it difficult for one to give a fair critique of their performances hence I'll refrain from that here.

Jupiter Ascending could also have been one of the few female-led action films that could have been a successful film franchise, showing that when female-led action films succeed, it's not necessarily a quirk. This would have been helpful in Hollywood's evolution (if you haven't figured out from my name, yes, I'm female).

It also could have been the film that would have move the Wachowskis' career out of its current state where the siblings are now more renowned for the visual flash and bang in their films rather than the creative storytelling and treatment that was showcased in The Matrix.
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1/10
Everything that is wrong with cinema today is seen in this movie
D-BorG7 March 2015
The movie feels like it was written by a ten year old girl hooked on drugs. Cardboard characters are so undeveloped that they should have stayed in authors womb for few more months/years. Bad acting and "I don't care about what is going on" attitude from the actors brings final nail to this movie coffin. There is nothing substantial in this movie, nothing that can teach us something new about ourselves or the world around us, which is quite odd for the science fiction movie. True the cinematography of the movie is first class, but it only saddens me that it is used on such bad material. In the end don't get fooled by this movie. Its only purpose is to take your money with bright lights and a false promise, but it will leave you with a mouth full of ash, wondering why you wasted your time.
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9/10
A movie you need to see at least twice
bvonxanten26 September 2015
Jupiter Ascending is a great movie. You have to see it at least twice to get an understanding of the story line as it is so fast flowing. There is a lot involved and there are underlying plots that still need to be discovered. the action and special effects are very good but the story needs to be expanded further. It has a rich universe, a mixture of Dune and Dorsai. There is a lot that would be missed if you only watch it once. I feel this movie has been underrated by some as they do not understand it in full as the richness and the concept is refreshing, similar to how Riddick was at first. I sincerely hope that they explore and flesh out the universe and the story further.
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9/10
A whole lot better than its rep!
MacCampbell31 December 2015
One reviewer claimed its story could have been written by "a ten year old girl on drugs". Well I've met some ten year old girls with astonishing imaginations, so I'm not sure that that's much of a criticism. True, if you're looking for deep this ain't it, but the same could be said for "The Matrix", not to mention just about every video game ever made. Then of course there's "Star Wars" which 10 year-old (and those who think like them) find deeply profound and meaningful.

Purely as escapist entertainment, "Jupiter Ascending" is awesome. Mila Kunis is superb. A week after watching it I still can't get it out of my mind. I plan to buy a copy of the DVD so I can watch it again.
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1/10
Awful, awful awful.
martin-807-45227019 February 2015
Warning: Spoilers
This film is bad. You'd think after the total disaster of John Carter (on Mars) someone somewhere would learn that if you take sci-fi and just throw millions and millions and millions of dollars at it is will just be rubbish. And by god is this rubbish. (It's worse than that Jim, It's s, h, i and t).

This film is so bad I just don't know where to start. Hang on - I'm going to have a cup of tea and a think. OK. It has no redeeming qualities at all. The film, not the tea, The story is so badly written that I was just sighing to myself every five minutes.

It basically goes like this: Large bit of exposition explaining what they are going to do next then they go and do what they were saying there were going to do in a huge amount of silly CGI. We have seen so many action scenes that we all know anything can be done, but we need to have a vested interest in at least one of the characters to give a damn whether they live or die, and in this whole movie I couldn't care less if everyone died.

The tone of the film is perplexing. In the first few minutes this bloke is shot dead for no reason. Then the main character is born at sea under a particular constellation pertaining to something to do with astrology, but this is never mentioned again. Then there is a woman in her knickers and bra for some reason. Don't know why. Then Jupiter Jones leaves the earth then she's a queen and we are suddenly in Terry Gilliam's Brazil, complete with Central Services and a cameo from TG himself. (Naughty Terry).

The Wachowski directors have just stolen from FLASH, DUNE, BRAZIL, 2000AD and any other Sci-Fi source they can find. There is even a 2001 space station in one shot. They have proved over the last four films that they have got nothing left to say at all. The film is so Flash Gordon there is even a forced wedding scene with the hero Flash turning up on a space scooter and crashing in at the right moment, oh sorry he's not Flash, he's – I don't know or care, because I've lost the will to live, because there is no suspense and there is no logic to anything. Then not-Flash rescues not-Dale and we have to go through the whole thing again, but this time Ming, sorry, some bloke I never got the name of - who has got a very sore throat and serious Oedipus issues and played by the unfortunate Eddie Redmayne (I bet he wishes he'd got his BAFTA earlier and not had to endure this pile of steaming llamas plop) needs Not-Dale to put her royal seal on a document so he can own Earth, and she has to abdicate, without doing anything of any use whilst being Queen, how about a few edicts? I'd at least ask to see the Royal Mint and get some coins done we me on them. But no. Not-Dale goes off without even a ray gun to see the baddest man in the universe and right at the last minute not-Flash hurtles in and saves the day on another space scooter thing. (His insurance premiums must be astronomical), And of course because he's broken the window at the top of the factory, the whole place is going to go up. I don't know about you, but if I was going to build some sort of factory in the middle of Jupiter where the atmosphere is incredibly fierce, the gravity is gigantic, the electrical storms are the size of EARTH, I would build some sort of fail safe and make certain that if some twit with a space scooter crashed into my big window the whole place wouldn't disintegrate with the speed of the Titanic hitting a massive iceberg. And the baddie dies falling off a tall thing. OMG!! How many bad guys have to die falling off tall things? At least Ming got a big rocket ship through his guts. If I was a bad guy I'd live in a bungalow.

Then some space people who were bad, but then good and then bad who may be friends with Sean Bean do some stuff and are then good people, but then they nip off, but luckily just in time to save Not-Flash and Not-Dale and oh, for Heaven's sake. I don't care I really don't. And then they are back on Earth. Sorry? What? She's the queen of the flipping universe and can do anything and she goes back to cleaning the toilets? Can you IMAGINE how angry her hard working mother would be if she knew her daughter was the heiress to billions and she wasn't doing anything with it? Why the hell do you think she left Russia to go to the USA? In search of a new life! Not to clean toilets! And the Not-Flash bloke has got wings at the end, Oh for sake of Peter Jackson is this Lord of the Rings? He's even got Vulcan Elf ears!! Is there no originality AT ALL in this movie??? Come on!! Couldn't he have had a penis in the middle of his forehead to indicate he was an alien. Oh? He has got one of those? Sorry didn't notice. And they all speak perfect English and apparently the Earth was seeded with genes from, Oh I don't care, I just couldn't care less anymore, this is awful, and I've run out of tea. And there's some big sci-fi Lizards with wings called Mr. flipping Ben or something. SIGH.

There was one nice shot of the planet Jupiter with all the moons around it in 3D that I did quite like, but that was nothing to do with the W Brothers - that's actually there.
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8/10
A brain-squeezing Space Opera. What more do you want?
mick-wilson11 May 2015
'Jupiter Ascending' was panned (I suspect) by the same small brains that only love to slag by comparison. I'm thinking of "Kings Solomon's Mines" in the shadow of "Raiders". I'm thinking of "Fifth Element" being compared to 'Star Wars'. I'm thinking "new Batman" to "old Batman". And on, and on.

Well, a fickle fie on that that.

"Jupiter Ascending" is fun, is spectacular, and is in no way sillier than the original 'Star Wars' (as in episode IV). Yes, the gravity- surfing boots were hokey, but no more than light sabers or (Oh) The Voice of Obi from Beyond.

I mean, and flipping' heck! Does everything in cinema have to be mean and retro and grungy and full of old failing and aging superheroes with bad knees and depression? This all getting so tired so fast.

I loved this film precisely because it was full of meaningless gloss, and bless the Matrix Guys for not making another self-referential piece of pablum. It's fun. It's stupid. It has nothing to tell us about the meaning of life.

It's not Deep, Portentous and Meaningful tripe like 'Avatar' and 'After Earth'. Thank goodness!

'Jupiter Ascending' is A-grade Space Opera and let's just leave it at that.

Get a life, critics.
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1/10
Total Crap
protopod6 February 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Guys, this movie was a joke… It seems like they took all the extra costumes from 'Flash Gordon', 'CG from any Transformer movie, "screenwriting" from 'The Last Starfighter', and character development for 'Gigli' and overall logic from 'The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai across the 8th Dimension' and put them together!

Basic breakdown…

Act I. Kidnap + Rescue + Channing Tatum on magic roller-skates + Redmayne Overacting

Act II. Kidnap + Rescue + Channing Tatum on magic roller-skates + Redmayne Overacting

Act III. Kidnap + Rescue + Mila Kunis on magic roller-skates
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10/10
A brilliant "waste of time"
siklodi_jozsef10 February 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Brilliant, absolutely brilliant! For me, this is one of the best movies in history of cinema. If you did not see it already, then go to the cinema and watch it before you read further. I apologize for my not so polished English. It's not my first language, and I'm still learning it.

I went to the cinema with almost no information about this movie. All I know was its a sci-fi. I had no clue who plays in it, or who directed it. First surprise came at the ticket booth. The ticket price was around 15% higher then any other movies I have seen*. This must be a real good movie... After twenty minutes I was already bored by the clichés. East European emigrant in USA with huge dreams, became a toilet cleaner, but soon she will be saved by a werewolf and she will be some kind of princess of the "world". What an original idea... As some other reviewers pointed out, the movie is full of scenes borrowed from other movies and video games, as far as I see. Scenes, music, sound effects. Everything. Stunning visual effects, but shallow story and almost non existent character development. For the first sight... After an hour I could not believe that I paid for this... This was the first movie I was trying to sleep in.

At the end there was a single sentence that stuck in my head: time is the single most precious thing in the universe. Funny, a film seemingly completely waste of time talks about your precious time.

With friends we talk about the movie for an hour. The conclusion: it is so pointless that this must be the point.

Then, next day it hit me! It hit me so hard, first I had to sit down, then I was walking around in my room for a half hour. This movie is like a huge puzzle. It makes no sense until you find the corner pieces. I think I found one of those pieces. TIME, the single most precious thing in the universe. This movie is about Us, about how we live, about how we waste our precious time. Its about the clichés filling our life.

The first thought of her at morning: "I hate my life!" Didn't you ever thought that? Her mother and aunt works dutifully, like robots. They are the modern slaves of our days. She is dreaming about a better life, about expensive clothes, while the rich girl can not decide which cloth she should wear when her rich boyfriend will "ask her" to merry him. We all know this will not happen, but she believes it. She wants to be a wife of a rich guy. A toilet cleaner emigrant with brand new iPhone? We are working to get money, to buy things we can not afford. Her uncle practically try to sell her body parts – eggs- and take most of the money, just because "this is capitalism". Spending money before you have it. Anyone? He spends on what? Big screen TV and video games. Things he can not afford, but he thinks it will change his life. He waste money so he can wast more time. ...these are just the first few minutes!

It contains countless references to movies, video games, books, to different parts of popular culture, even religions. In every scene you can find parts of other movies, games, books. Just watch it and find your pieces.

We are products, just as depicted in the movie. We are just numbers on some rich and powerful peoples spreadsheet. We are money machines. Do you think most movies are made for us? NO! Most movies are made for profit. Look at the movies of the last decade. They can sell a movie with a shallow story,and stunning visuals. They can sell it with an actor. They can sell it with just a name behind it. Most people praise this movie for the stunning visuals, Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum (their bodies, not their act). Here is a movie with so deep meanings, that almost no one notices. Its not hidden. It pokes our eyes. But we can't see it. There were so many meaningless movies in the last decade, we can't see any difference. We don't even expect movies with any deeper meaning. Most of the movies and video games are just escapes from our life.

I feel I need to say a few more words about the end of the movie to make it round. Did you noticed, she was smiling at the end, even while cleaning the toilet? She was not whining about her life any more. She wake up early, made coffee, and she was happier when she got that old brass telescope then when she become the absolute ruler of the Earth. She did change, but not the way you expected. She enjoys the little details of the life. Enjoys her work, even if its toilet cleaning, enjoys the morning coffee with her family, the noisy dinner. For me, it seems like, she understood that time is our single most precious thing in the universe. She enjoys every moment of her life :)

As I said, this movie es a brilliant piece of art. It is about our life. You just need to find a corner piece of the puzzle. I showed one piece for you! Wake up Neo! Now go, waste some more of your precious time, watch this movie again, and find your corner pieces, make your puzzle complete :) I will do the same. I have to watch this again...

Thank you for your precious time, I hope it worth reading :)

PS*: probably the higher ticket price was just a coincidence. But it made more impact. The pain of wasting my time was stronger.
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4/10
Hey Morpheus, If I take both the red pill and the blue pill will I get my 127 minutes back?
Drive-in_Zeppelin6 February 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I would have thought that after the 15+ years since The Matrix that consumers would be less and less dazzled by visual effects in film, but apparently I was the only one to take the red pill and see beyond the illusion of this movie. Sure you'll get otherworldly visuals and some pretty neat future-tech in Jupiter Ascending but that's where the takeaway stops.

The story is a classic one where a seemingly insignificant individual, in this case Jupiter Jones (Kunis), is suddenly thrust into a much larger and complicated universe than her day-to-day as a maid. As fate would have it, she happens to be the reincarnation of the matriarch of an extremely powerful dynasty that controls a vast industrial empire in the galaxy. The oldest heir to the mother's inheritance is none other than Oscar-nominee Eddie Redmayne, who for whatever reason has difficulty speaking and doesn't want Jupiter to claim what is rightfully hers.

I'll give the Wachowskis that they they've created an incredibly elaborate alternate universe that is equally rich in scope and potential, but they fail to generate the least bit of depth to their characters. Every person you meet is a one-dimensional caricature you'd find in some other sci-fi story.

Honestly the scope is too ambitious to warrant any initial investment in Jupiter or any of the other supporting actors like Channing Tatum and Sean Bean. It's literally just 2 hours of zero-tension action sequences and clichéd dialogue that lead to a resolution that the audience couldn't care less about.

Sure the tech is pretty cool and I was pleasantly surprised by the design of the ships and planetary locales, but the novelty of seeing Channing Tatum ice-skate around the air fighting aliens that pose little threat wears off after the first scene. It's like watching the Jedi take on the droids in the Star Wars Prequels. Why even bother putting them in the way if they don't pose the slightest inconvenience to our protagonists?

I can appreciate science fantasy that dazzles and delights in an original universe, but eventually the tunnel-vision wears off and you realize that there is very little to keep you invested in the story. The planet Jupiter might actually be the most ironic and appropriate metaphor for this movie since - sure it's pretty to look - but then you realize you're just looking a big ball of the two most common gasses in the universe.

Read the expanded version and other reviews on the Drive-In Zeppelin website
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2/10
Shallow, boring, a complete waste of money.
gemma_blatch15 February 2015
Jupiter Ascending, a film that deals with subjects that I'm sure a millennia old advanced species would have no interest in, such as wealth, materialism, physical appearances and girl crushes. A totally shallow film with not a single redeeming feature. The Wachowskis should be ashamed of themselves. It was a good job we had a gift certificate because if we had spent the full £20 on the film I would have been mortified. I walked out before the end of the film as I didn't care the slightest about the fate of any of the characters and it was pretty obvious that the ending would be a complete happy ending cliché. These sorts of films make me want to give up on the modern film industry, they only spew out high budget garbage to appease the idiots. Excuse me while I go watch some Hitchcock or something. Urgh.
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7/10
Good Entertainment. Really Don't Get The Low Score
Mikeboy000113 October 2015
Sometimes I really don't get IMDb and critics I avoided this movie like the plague as it had such low ratings by users and critics, so I thought it would be a complete waste of time But I've upgraded my home projector recently, and it supports 3D, and since then, I'm having fun in trying this format. Wachowski's always make great visuals, so I jumped into it because of the 3D, but with very low expectations regarding the movie To my complete surprise, it turned out the movie was very good, in the sense it was highly entertaining The story has it's flaws, like any regular movie, but it's not a complete nonsense like some people try to sell you Can't understand how rubbish movies like Fast&Furious 7 and Iron Man 3 make millions at the box office and have such good ratings, where this one flopped and has such poor ones I mean even complete trash like Godzilla, Robocop (2014), John Carter and San Andreas have a higher score than Jupiter Ascending!!! What a hell is going on with you people?
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9/10
Absolutely wonderful movie!!
edabeweajohnson2 May 2015
I think it is so unfair the amount of negative reviews I saw on here about this movie. No wonder the low rating which is unwarranted. I can't imagine how many people will miss out on such a good movie because of these misleading reviews. I tried to see what was so bad about this entertaining film and frankly speaking I could not.

The story is unique and perfect. The visual effects absolutely stunning. Lots of effort was made in the making this film. I could definitely watch it for a third time as I have already watched it twice in the past five days. If you are into Sci-Fi movies and good action this is a must see!!! Please don't miss out due to other peoples thoughts.
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1/10
Just plain awful
ultravelocity14 February 2015
This was easily one of the worst movies I have ever been to. What else can be said. Everything about it was just awful. And I went in knowing it was going to be a terrible story, but maybe I would enjoy the special effects and action scenes. Unfortunately, a man-dog wearing eyeliner roller skating in the air fighting bad guys looks as ridiculous and dumb as it sounds. Mila Kunis felt completely miscast and had no chemistry with Channing Tatum, who was playing the same boring dumb hero he always does. The action sequences were a mess... impossible to tell what was going on.

I watch a lot of movies and have only walked out on a handful in my life, but I could not make it through more than 70 minutes of this ridiculous film. Don't waste your time. It's awful.

It boggles my mind how a movie like this gets made. Someone please stop these two from making any more!
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7/10
Unfairly criticized; worth a watch!
coolbeanj6 February 2015
I saw Jupiter Ascending tonight (after a VERY long wait I might add). Sadly it is not in the vain of other Wachowski films in terms of thought- provoking subject matter; however, I feel this film is being very unfairly criticized.

No: the subject matter is not as deep or profound as in The Matrix, V for Vendetta, or the masterful Cloud Atlas. But it was never advertised to be that kind of film--it's a solid blockbuster movie (with plenty of room for sequels and/or prequels). I'd see it again!

If you're considering watching this film, but hesitate after reading the same scathing reviews that I came across, just consider what interests you about the movie: if you're looking a movie with a complex plot and lots of underlying messages, this might not be the best choice. It's a blockbuster film pure and simple. A good one! But a very typical blockbuster/action/romance movie.
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10/10
I do not understand all the hate for this movie.
ErinDLindsey30 March 2015
Literally, just a few weeks before this movie was released, I had been thinking "Why haven't there been any fun space opera films recently? Well, one that isn't part of a Marvel franchise?" And then Jupiter Ascending opened - and lo and behold, the Wachowskis delivered.

I am old enough to remember having seen Flash Gordon and The Empire Strikes Back in the theaters. Space opera was very much an integral part of my childhood, and Jupiter Ascending is right there with some of the best I've seen.

Then I heard all the negative reviews, and was baffled. Did these reviewers see the same movie I had? What happened? Do they hate fun? Is Chris Pratt the only one allowed to have fun in Hollywood anymore? Is it the fact that Jupiter Ascending has a female protagonist and caters to a female gaze? Maybe it's not specifically aimed at the dudebros to whom the Hollywood business machine seems to be pandering mostly these days, but they can still enjoy it nevertheless? Did the Hollywood suits see the Wachowski's jab at the corporate oligarchy and feel personally threatened? Are they still bumhurt that the Matrix sequels didn't quite live up to the original? Did seeing shirtless Channing Tatum/shirtless Eddie Redmayne make them feel all funny inside? We may never know the answers to any of these questions, but one thing is clear; Jupiter Ascending is the fun space opera movie that you need in your life right now. Ignore the haters and see it!
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10/10
Went for awesome graphics, got what I wanted!
awoodbu22 February 2015
The main complaints that I have seen about this movie are about character development and dialog, but in ~2 hours, it's hard to develop 5-6 main characters who all have potentially fascinating back-stories. In 3-D, this movie is amazing. I knew it wouldn't be the same if I waited it to come out on DVD, so I watched it in the theater, and I was fully satisfied. Ships flying at me, debris coming out of nowhere, awesome fight scenes in the air, beautiful and colorful dresses on Kunis --- it was amazing. Even my mom stayed awake! So yes, I wanted more character development, too…but I think that's because they introduced such interesting characters!! I'm just hoping they write a book so I can read more into the stories. You could do much more character development in a 600 page book than in a 2 hour movie. This story-line is along the caliber of J.R.R. Tolkien's novels, without the space to develop the plot. There were definitely Harry Potter-like scenes, and also areas that were reminiscent of Hunger Games as well, particularly with the elaborate clothing, bureaucracy and deceit tactics used by the upper echelon of the society. Anyways - the point is, I loved it and I wish that they would write a book or go into the back story of some of the individual characters a bit more.
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8/10
Visually Amazing
just_for_movies7 February 2015
Jupiter Ascending, quite literally, is one of the most beautiful movies I have ever seen. The visual effects and CGI were top notch; nothing looked unfinished. Everything from explosions and action scenes, to space ships and settings, this movie had all the "eye candy" one could want. The fighting sequences were executed perfectly; each one thrilling in its own way. Each singular planet or world was so stunning and precisely crafted, that one could almost feel themselves in it. The Wachowskis have made a truly gorgeous universe in their latest movie.

Michael Giacchino's music fits each scene very nicely whether it is a fast paced chase scene, or a quiet and thoughtful scene. It has a mysterious and almost hollow beauty to it, which fits this movie perfectly.

Alas, not everything in this movie is as good as the visuals. Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis give surprisingly good performances for the most part but some of their acting is just off. The other principal actors give good performances as well but all the acting could have been taken a notch higher.

Story and Plot is where this movie is weakest though. It has so much ambition and intricacy that it is to much to fit in a two hour long movie. Even though two hours is a good length, the plot just wants to keep on going and therefor the loose ends are never quite tied up. The plot is never really explained to its entirety and while one can figure out the general idea, it is hard to go deep into it. It has huge potential but rather than using it, it discards it. I give it credit for being fairly original though, and not a sequel, reboot, or based of a graphic novel or book. Originality is a great thing and the Wachowskis do it best.

Overall Jupiter Ascending lacked plot depth and great acting abilities, but it won it all back with groundbreaking visuals. Even though many more big movies are coming out in 2015, this one would be one of the best for all we know. It may not be everyone's piece of cake, but it sure is a fun sci-fi adventure that shouldn't be forgotten.
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8/10
An underrated sci-fantasy movie
Oeuvre_Klika15 September 2015
When I was a little girl, I often played at being a princess: I would be very beautiful, have lots of suitors and live in a gorgeous castle. I would also be very clever (I would often invent the elevator) and a good ruler for my subjects. I would then fall in love with a chivalrous young man who had faced a great danger for me, like dragons, evil sorcerers or highwaymen.

I am a grown woman now, but somewhere inside me this little girl is still there. And she loved "Jupiter Ascending".

This isn't a movie to watch for its philosophical message (even if there is one) or for its social commentary (even if you could find one). This is a movie to watch and be immersed in a whole new world, be amazed by its beautiful landscapes, architecture, costumes, and by its cool gadgets (seriously, who wouldn't want flying boots like Caine's?) and spaceships. This is a film to watch and indulge in your craziest childhood fantasies, like flying, going to another planet, being queen of the universe, you name it, and to be entertained.

If this world created by the Wachowskis is so immersive, it's not only because it's well thought and beautifully designed, but also thanks to the cast. In this review, I would like to single out two performances.

Mila Kunis plays the lead, Jupiter Jones, an underprivileged girl who dreams of a better life. Kunis, with her good looks, could have seemed fake in this role, but no, she is credible and very relatable (and this is important, since she also is the audience surrogate). One common criticism of the film is that she's too passive. It isn't completely fair. Jupiter isn't an action hero, but an everywoman catapulted in a foreign world, forced to play a game without knowing all the rules. But she learns quickly and grows as a woman throughout the movie.

The most unfairly criticized performance from this movie is Eddie Redmayne's, playing the villainous Balem Abrasax. It's true that his performance is over-the-top, but this is because he plays an over- the-top character. Balem is a thousands-years-old power-mad psychopath who combines an unhinged mind with a complete lack of morals, and Redmayne portrays him very well.

The rest of the cast is great, too. Every character seems real, even the ones we don't know much about.

"Jupiter Ascending" also has good moments of humor and knows when not to take itself too seriously. This is all "make-believe" after all.

The only regret I have towards this movie is that it's standalone. I would have loved to explore more of this universe and its characters in a sequel.
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9/10
I said WOW more times than any movie before
wewilsons8 September 2015
Warning: Spoilers
The critics leave out one very critical piece of information. To have fit so much story and so much action with so much new and amazing effects in so short a time is just short of miraculous.

To fit so much story it is a VERY fast moving plot. If you can't absorb complex plots quickly, you won't be able to keep up. To move from simple earth girl to universe royalty in 127 minutes is a huge undertaking and it was well done. When I read it was over two hours thinking it was only 90 minutes tells you how fast this movie goes by. Its an amazing ride!

The action is immense with breathtaking scenes just as ridiculous and unbelievable as the best Avengers, Matrix and Batman can come up with.Difference is the immensely advanced effects.

This movie moved the computer effects scale up several notches over anything I have seen and integrates those effects so matter of factly as to leave you in awe. I am still reeling at how much artwork went into this film. You become so used to the barrage of amazing vistas and generated imagery that you have to focus on the characters to keep from missing the story. Simply have to see this a few more times to get more of the awesome work done in this film. The break from the licensing sequence was fun and funny. The makeup and proppery of the alien characters and devices throughout is phenomenal.

The cost of packing so much into so short a venue is in the number of characters. There are fewer characters than a slow movie would have and the story is rushed to fit in a 127 minute film!! A sacrifice I am willing to take. Channing did an amazing job of legionnaire and While Mila's character is too casual about adapting to the universe she is always a lovely fun and absorbing actress!!

Huge plot holes in a 127 minute film that could have been 4 hours, gave it 9 of 10, but JA sets the bar for explosive fantasy sci fi films of this era. Wuchowski's skills are developing way past Matrix. Watch these guys, they have a monstrous future.

Thanks for the amazing film Gentlemen!! WAHOOOO !!
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1/10
Stupid, aimless, empty, dreadful and DERIVATIVE non-spectacle
badajoz-110 February 2015
Warning: Spoilers
The Brothers are no longer, and their films are getting worse by the movie. This drivel is supposed to be about a wretched anglo-Russian girl (Kunis) who miraculously has the same genetic imprint as a millennia-old royal just dead in outer space. The royal was part of a family looking for profit from creating life on suitable planets which are then farmed for their body fluids to produce immortal bath salts for those who can pay. Cra* concept and an even worse script, direction, and character development has resulted! It is all CGI, but for what? The characters are totally uninteresting. Even the evil offspring of the dead royal, who just ooze 'orribleness and are of course played by British actors (including star of the moment Eddie Redmayne!), are one-dimensional. The hero, half wolf, half man, Channing Tatum, remains stony faced and just jets about on a set of gravity boots better than Superman! The only interest is Sean Bean and whether he will last beyond the second reel. From the trailer he looked certain for an early demise but he keeps hanging on! The script is just a series of bang crashes, and scenes of jeopardy for our two leads and how are they going to get out of them - yawn, yawn! The CGI is boring inside two minutes. And the whole film is a derivative sham. You will recognise 'Star Wars' 'North by North West' 'Jurassic Park 2' 'Superman' 'Flash Gordon' and particularly 'Dune' as well as many others. Oh, it is truly awful!!!!!!!!!!

Brother and sister - give up film making now and save the industry from another mega ($170M) flop!
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1/10
What were they smoking?
jmason27277 February 2015
I don't remember the last time I went to a movie, and almost walked out in the first 5 minutes to ask for a refund. That is how quickly I sensed I was in a disaster.

I usually enjoy sci-fi movies and don't nitpick them to death. I'm used to being let down by the likes of Green Lantern and John Carter, and still finding them adequately entertaining.

However, this was some convoluted mess. It seemed slapped together. The soundtrack seemed like some stock hack job. Characters were not developed at all. Stuff randomly jumped around. The "universe" seemed inconsistent, incoherent, and generally muddled. This just outright hurt to sit through. I gave it a chance, but it didn't get better. I tried wondering if I'd have liked it if it was my first movie, and I was maybe 12. No, I don't think so.

Anyway, this is now at the top of my Razzie list for at least the last couple decades. I've seen a *lot* of movies. Though I'd normally rather watch Mila Kunis for two hours over John Travolta in weird space dreadlocks... I think I'd rather watch Battlefield Earth again over this... thing. Wow. This was really really really bad. It's not even worthy of Showgirls-like cult status. This one should have people mocking it for at least a generation. Especially the ears.
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