Insidious

I went into this movie confident that it would be a cheesy, campy romp with the same "tried and true tricks of the trade," like when the hero is investigating the creepy music coming from the basement and a cat jumps into frame, but I quickly discovered that this would not be case with Insidious. After watching the move and obsessing on it for about 12 hours now, I can honestly say it's one of the scariest movies I've ever seen. In fact, there were several points during the film where I screamed like a 13-year old girl at a Justin Beiber concert. Keep in mind I was consciously trying my hardest to keep my composure, mainly because I was sitting beside my new girlfriend of 2 months. She, incidentally, didn't make a peep; thankfully, I later found out she had her eyes closed the whole time.

I was also expecting to see some blood and guts, especially coming from the guys who made Saw, but there wasn't a drop. Instead, they used just about everything else in their arsenal to scare the bejesus out of me and everyone else in the theater (my girlfriend included). From literally the opening credits, they created an intense, haunting tension that didn't leave my body till several whiskeys and half a Xanax later. And the movie constantly feeds that tension, making even the characters' mundane family life somehow seem utterly terrifying. I was actually exhausted leaving the theater from all of the uncomfortable squirming I was unable to control. I'd say it's the most calories I've ever burned while watching a movie (well, at least a PG-13 movie).

Overall, the movie was great. It was crazy scary, thoroughly entertaining, and even surprisingly funny at times. Having said that, it will be quite some time before I watch another horror movie; I have no desire to be turned into a frazzled bundle of nerves again anytime soon. So, if you plan on seeing this movie, please consider this a cautionary reminder: it's probably best to go with someone who's already witnessed you have a complete physical and mental breakdown, so as to avoid an embarrassing drive home. And maybe bring a Xanax as well.