Trama

Mitchell tells Jay that one of his friends is gay to teach him a lesson, Claire gets frustrated with Phil's new master remote control, and Gloria gives Manny's "date" a makeover to improve her self-esteem.

Mitchell plants the seed in Jay's head that he thinks one of Jay's old buddies, Shorty, might be secretly gay. Jay doesn't believe it for a second... except for all the questionable signs he now keeps noticing. Meanwhile Gloria gives Manny's date a makeover and Claire faces off with Phil's universal remote.—ABC Publicity

PHIL: "People can change. That's what I believe, and I will until the day I die."

Yes, he said that. But at least he's good with technology, which Claire isn't. Although she looks much better in a black bra and panties than he does (Julie Bowen...rawr!), and Haley's boyfriend will vouch for that, since she walked right in front of him on the webcam.

Jay is talking with some of his old friends from the neighborhood and Cameron stops by. Jay, carefully avoiding discussing Cam's relationship with Mitchell, introduces him, and Cameron mixes up his North Jersey motifs, calling them the Jersey Boys instead of the Sopranos. Manny is prepared for his date with Whitney. Gloria should prepare, too, since Whitney was spending most of her time before this obsessed with New Zealand folk duos. (Yup, Jemaine and Bret's obsessed fan from Flight of the Conchords.) To be fair, Whitney met Manny online, and Manny is very mature for his age. Whitney is embarrassed to the point of tears, but Gloria tries to comfort her. (as does Manny)

MANNY: Here, use my handkerchief.

GLORIA: You'll find someone. As they say in my country, love is just around the corner. (Gloria's old neighborhood had a lot of prostitutes.) You just have to find your inner beauty.

MANNY: It's hiding behind a mask of insecurity.

WHITNEY: OK, you're freaking me out.

GLORIA: Manny, go play!

Cameron tells Mitchell that Jay introduced him as "a friend of my son's" and Mitchell won't let it go. He goes to his dad, and Jay's friend, Shorty (Chazz Palminteri), who no longer feels like finding Keyser Söze and admires Mitch's coat instead. Mitch is not happy with Jay, but Jay was trying to avoid an awkward situation with a bunch of people with old attitudes. Even though Cameron was never offended, Mitchell won't back down, even saying he thinks Shorty is gay. Jay vehemently denies it, and the fact that Shorty was married once wasn't stopping Mitchell. Even worse, Cameron was freaking out over the limp flowers he just bought, but what Jay said didn't bother him. Going "medieval" on the florist does freak out Cameron. The florist comes by to replace the flowers, as Cameron nuked the old ones to make them look bad again. It works: the flowers are on fire...and Cam freaks.

MITCHELL: Look at that; they're both flaming.

Gloria is working on Whitney, who still has doubts, as does Jay about Whitney being Manny's date.

MANNY: I'll tell you what. If in ten years, neither of us is seeing anybody, how about you and me giving it a shot?

WHITNEY: That is so disturbing. But maybe.

Gloria talks to Jay about Shorty, and Gloria also thinks Shorty might be gay, since Shorty never hit on her, but Jay's other friends have. Gloria insists Jay talk to Shorty about it. Heading out to the links, Jay isn't hitting very well, so Shorty offers some advice...to bend over more, open his hips...yeah, you saw that coming. Jay finally settles for coffee and finally tries to get Shorty to open up. Jay admits he didn't handle the situation well with his son, and he wants to make up for it and helps him. Shorty appreciates it and comes out...by admitting he was in debt for $20K to a bookie. And he thanked Jay for paying it off. Jay goes right to Mitchell, ready to tear his head off. Worse, Mitchell lied about Shorty being gay to teach Jay a lesson. But Mitchell does appreciate all of the changes Jay has tried to make from how he used to be.

Claire's efforts with the mega-remote Phil bought resulted in a busted remote, and she refused to apologize for breaking it. She made a deal that if Phil can teach their dumbest kid how to operate it in 20 minutes, she would apologize. But not Luke...Haley had to learn it. Haley struggles, but Phil convinces her "this is for all of those times when your mother said she was right, but you knew she was wrong." Haley gives it the 'ol college try. Phil encourages her, while Claire tries to trip her up. Haley wins, and Claire is dumbfounded.

PHIL: Claire, you're missing the point! If I can teach Haley how to use the remote in 20 minutes, think how fast you'll learn it!

HALEY: (very offended) What's that supposed to mean?

Gloria's makeover of Whitney was a complete success, and Cameron gets the first look at the new Whitney. He is impressed by her new dress, hair, and choice of literature. And Whitney is impressed by Cameron...and turned on, too. Awkward conversation coming up.

MITCHELL: Can people change? I don't know. People are who they are. Give or take...about fifteen percent. That's how much people can change if they really want to. Whether it's for themselves or the people they love, yeah, it's fifteen percent. But sometimes, that's enough.