Don't Look in the Cellar (2008) Poster

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Horrible in an entertaining way.
vombatiformes2 November 2011
My vote reflects the real quality of this movie, though I do have to say that it was that sort of horrible that actually encourages watching. I hate to make the train wreck analogy for fear of the cliché, but it crossed the line from horror to humorous within the first 10 minutes or so and that is one of the many varieties of cheap horror flick that keep me glued to the screen.

The plot is at the same time simple to the point of boredom and yet strangely convoluted, and one of the film's few good points is that it does attempt to wrap up these loose ends rather neatly by the end. Unfortunately, the conclusion is weak and unsatisfying and it is almost impossible to take anything that happens seriously because the acting is about as bad as it gets without it ACTUALLY being a joke.

The premise revolves around a group of community college students who spend the night at an abandoned insane asylum for an extra credit report for their local history course. Their professor planted the idea in their minds because of a lecture she had given about urban legends, and apparently the asylum has a pretty interesting legend. Unsurprisingly, a handful of the characters have a past that ties in with the asylum in an eye-rolling way and the overnight visit reveals these secrets.

My favorite character had to be Wendel, if just for his absolutely stunning role as the insane man who stands in a room and tells a bunch of 30-something-actors-playing-20-something-college-students not to go into the cellar because there is a murderous psycho down there (and they subsequently do, without fail).

Whatever. Point is, the acting is horrible, the story is horrible, the cinematography is so horrible it must have been intentional (so many dramatic ~angled up behind some woman's butt~ shots) but it all adds up to a mediocre dose of bad movie glee. Recommended for that reason if for nothing else.
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A porn with the sex scenes cut out
moxie_girl30 October 2011
That's seriously the agreement my boyfriend and I came to after watching this movie. The characters were terrible, the story was even worse. It was definitely shot in their houses, not only because they are clearly decorated like homes but also because if you look at the "asylum" you can see that someone forgot to move Mr. Fluffy's cat tower from right next to the freaking front door. I'm sure this was a college film but couldn't they put some effort into it? I mean, I'm sure they could have at least worn better clothes since most of them are pretending to be "rich kids" but apparently they decided to beg their local Goodwill store for things they wouldn't be able to sell. I watched it and felt bad for the failing grades they probably received.
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1.2 million dollars? On what?!
harrybarracuda11 October 2010
I mean seriously, how the hell can this have cost $1.2 million? Surely they didn't pay any of the actors, because I'm fairly certain none of them had other work and would have paid for any film role.

It doesn't look like they actually used any film. The costumes must have come from a charity shop (or did the actors bring their own?). I'm fairly certain the sets where essentially wherever they decided to get the camera out. Fake blood doesn't cost that much.

Seriously, there is only one reason this film can have been made, and that is to try and make a clean sweep of the Raspberrys.

It is terrible, terrible, terrible, on so many levels.

OK, so I've given you the build up.

Now go and watch it. It is so bad, it is side-splittingly hilarious.
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Atrociously bad
movieman_kev30 October 2011
Two girls go into an abandoned 'asylum' for their sorority initiation and of course meet untimely demises by Smiley (a mental patient who wears a burlap sack with a smiley face on it). This is all a story being told by a class teacher, some of the students get intrigued and wish to find out what really happened (well that and they want extra credit)

Other than perhaps masochism on my part, I actually have no earthly idea how I was able to sit through this excruciatingly bad movie. Less than 10 minutes in I was already regretting my decision and it only got worse from there. Putrid acting, a lame 'heavy', and with a cast of obnoxious characters that I had no interest in whatsoever. AND to add insult to injury there's not even any nudity... FOR SHAME

My Grade: F
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Worse Than Awful...Much Worse
darad1 March 2012
How can anyone insane or in their right mind conceive such a rotten pile of garbage as this movie? From the very beginning, excruciatingly to the end this movie stinks through and through. There are bad movies that manage to entertain for some comedic value but others (like this) that are so terrible they're just plain annoying. This movie isn't scary, frightening or funny in any way, shape or form. I've seen more entertainment in mildewing bread and I'd be ashamed and embarrassed to associate myself with a big stink-bomb much less pose next to the poster. Whatever you do, don't, under any circumstances, boredom or temptation watch this junk!
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The Gay Smiley
artpf16 November 2013
A group of college students regret their decision to sneak into the cellar of a haunted asylum on Halloween.

One by one they encounter Smiley, the last of a flawed bloodline.

This movie is very cheaply made and poorly directed and acted. The story is stoopid beyond belief. Believe it or not it begins with a couple nurse dressed the way Frederick's of Hollywood would dress a nurse! No joke.

Some of the sets consist of sheets tacked to a wall and the Smiley the bad guy is gay and a half, rendering him laffable.

It's just dismal.
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Wow Just Wow
quietmn6 September 2012
This is probably the worst slasher movie I've ever seen and that's saying a lot. The other review is totally right this was shot in a house unless this is an asylum with a furnished living room complete with family pictures. These actors could not have had any less personality on screen which I'm sure is a combination of their lack of ability and the truly awful writing. Randal Malone as Wendel is absolutely the best part of the movie he steals every scene he's in. He's so bizarre I wish he was the focus of the whole movie. Also it's shot on what I think is an HD hand-held camcorder which really doesn't do it any favors. It's like taking a highlighter pen to your awful affects. It also shows off the bad job the makeup department did (sorry actors). It really would have been better off with a grainier film look.

That all being said seriously you need to watch this movie. If you thought Birdemic: Shock and Terror was bad this is actually worse. If you thought that was funny to riff on at a party this is actually better. Please watch this and spread this plague.
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Plot Holes Galore
mariajonasfahlsing7 January 2013
Warning: Spoilers
How did the sorority girls get into the asylum in the first place? Where were the guards, nurses, doctors, and other staff members? Why was there only one simple locked door and no deadbolt on the door?

Seriously, the "asylum" is simply two residentially zoned homes spliced together on film to give the failed illusion of a large-size building.

Um, if the sorority wannabes could open and close the "asylum" (honestly, it's painfully obvious that this place is just a residential home, duh) doors at will, what exactly was preventing the crazies from going in and out of the rooms?

When the fake nurses ran out of the rooms, you could clearly see normal bedroom furniture behind them as they ran out. Fail!

Why would the fake nurse in the blue shirt run down two flights of stairs to get out of the building when she knew perfectly well that the front door was straight down the hall? Also, the crazy guy warned her not to go into the cellar, but she went anyway. Why?

Since when do colleges have end-of-period bells/buzzers? Seriously, that is not how ANY college marks time. College courses are NOT standardized by start or end times and are not of consistent duration. Please.... Obvious error.

During the pool scene at the valley girls' house, what was that weird, deformed pink duck thing at the trunk of the tree? Odd....

Excuse me?! Community college IS "real college." I am sick to death of hearing local, affordable colleges get slammed. The programs of study are held to the same rigorous accreditation standards as any other accredited school.

Furthermore, since when do college professors offer extra credit? I thought this sucking-up tool ended with high school. I have never had an extra credit opportunity in college and I hold 5 degrees.

How does an abandoned, closed asylum still have power?

If someone lobbed your hand off, you would not die or pass out from the pain or blood loss for a long time. Seriously, whoever wrote this script did not do proper research into trauma or human anatomy and physiology.

So, what's to stop Lindell from killing Wendell? This question needs to be addressed, because it's a really big plot hole (among the dozens of others).

Residents of an asylum are NOT referred to as inmates or prisoners. Otherwise, the place would be an asylum for the criminally insane.

Really, the gate code is 6666? How much more cliché can you get?

Cheerleader valley girl is clearly breathing after she gets stabbed and should be dead.

Why are the edges of the asylum map burned and artificially aged to look like a pirate map? The building isn't THAT old.

Arbor Mist product placement. Then again, low budget films call for low budget alcohol.

Yeah, abandoned buildings with crazy resident holdovers are totally scrubbed clean every day and are completely devoid of dust. Mm-hmm, yeah right. Like that's believable.

If Smiley's smile on the burlap sack was actually drawn in blood, the color would be much darker and not a bright red. Again, failure to research.

In the flashback scene about the rape, the hypodermic needle looks like a turkey baster,it's so unnaturally large.

Wow, that's how it ends? Super lame.

In summary, there are way too many plot holes, bad acting, bad editing, mistakes in continuity, and an excessive amount of exposition (by a crazy person no less).
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Horror With a $5 Budget
gavin694226 October 2012
A group of college students regret their decision to sneak into the cellar of a haunted asylum on Halloween. One by one they encounter Smiley (Jed Rowen), the last of a flawed bloodline.

This movie is pretty terrible, but the reason boils down to one key factor: they had no money, and used a very cheap camera. They probably should not have made a movie and it definitely should not be on Netflix, but it is and I watched it.

In all fairness, the acting is not too bad, at least from the students (I found the inmates far too cheesy). And the plot is nothing amazing, but really no worse than half of the horror films that get made. I will give these guys a little credit. Maybe invest in a better camera, learn a few new angles to shoot from, and you might have a passable movie. Maybe.
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Stellar Film!!!
iceskatinglife12323 August 2012
I was awestruck!! What a horribly fantastic movie! Here i was searching through video on demand for a cheap thriller and came across this winner! The thrill and intellect of a documentary combined with the ridiculousness, impossibility, and sheer fright of a horror (not to mention the humor it you're anything like me). Just barely falls short of the Saw movies 1-7 (which i would also HIGHLY recommend as they are are one of the few horror movies out there that you will also learn moral life lessons from without giving up the gore). Be prepared to indulge your senses and visual stimulation. I immediately recommended this to each and every one of my friends. Once again, positively Stellar movie!!!
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