Alan Harper : [peeking nervously on Jake driving the car] So, Charlie, when's your, uh... when's your fiance back in town?
Charlie Harper : [also nervously looking around] Uh... next week.
Alan Harper : Huh. So, uh... so her dad's out of the hospital?
Charlie Harper : Yep. They give him new hip and send him home.
Alan Harper : Huh. So he had a bad hip?
Charlie Harper : No, Alan, he has a bad tooth, but he went to the wrong doctor.
Alan Harper : You don't have to be snide.
Charlie Harper : You don't have to ask dumb-ass questions.
Jake Harper : He didn't ask me anything.
Jake Harper : [driving a car, turns the radio on]
Alan Harper : Hey, hey, hey, hey. Concentrate on the road.
Jake Harper : What? You listen to the radio while you drive.
Alan Harper : I'm an experienced driver.
Charlie Harper : [from a back seat] You drive like an old woman
Alan Harper : An *experienced* old woman.