A Bag of Hammers (2011)

Jake Sandvig: Alan

Photos 

Quotes 

• Alan : I don't know how you could come here every day.

  Melanie : It's easy. I go to... I get up in the morning. I go to work. That's it.

  Alan : So do I. That's it.

  Melanie : No, what you do isn't work. It's...

  Alan : Well, it pays my bills - and sometimes yours.

• Alan : You don't... you don't hug anyone. You hugged a ho... a hobo?

  Ben : Yeah. First I gave her all my money.

• Marty : It's endlessly fucked up to me that you steal cars from dead people.

  Alan : They're not dead people.

  Ben : Yeah, they're dead people's relatives.

  Marty : I remember when you were nice boys.

• Melanie : You've got to be kidding me.

  Alan : Says the girl who's wearing a waffle.

• Alan : [holding a condom package]  Kelsey, we sat you down today because we wanted to talk to you about...

  Ben : [holding a banana]  ... something very important.

  Alan : First of all, what happens in Penthouse doesn't happen in real life.

  Ben : It never looks that good. You don't want to get a girl pregnant before your, um, in love with her.

  Alan : And ready to start a life... with her.

  Ben : Yes. And each time you have sex, you are risking marriage.