Mark Corrigan: Jez, mate, big problem.
Jeremy Usborne: Balls again?
Mark Corrigan: No, not my balls. Dobby's taken back her boss's laptop and I don't think I cleaned off the... that porn you recommended.
Jeremy Usborne: I didn't recommend it. I'm not Time Out.
Mark Corrigan: Yes, you did, you gave it five stars.
Jeremy Usborne: And you didn't wipe it?
Mark Corrigan: I don't remember. I might have.
Jeremy Usborne: Always wipe, Mark. "Discharge your pipe, then have a wipe." That's the rhyme.
Mark Corrigan: Anyway if I was wondering if, if you could say, if Dobby does find it, that it was you who was looking at the porn?
Jeremy Usborne: No.
Mark Corrigan: Oh come on, Jez. It's going really well again with Dobby, I don't need this, and Christ, if Jan finds out, I'm dead, tidy hair or no tidy hair. I just want you to... take a wank bullet for me.
Jeremy Usborne: I don't want to take another wank bullet. What am I, some kind of wank shield?
Mark Corrigan: Oh, right. I see. So you'll take a wank bullet for Elena but you won't for me. Ten minutes with her is worth more than ten years with me. Well, I think we can count our friendship pretty much over from now on.
