Bermuda Island

It says Action/Adventure as the genre here on IMDB, but it played out as a Horror/Comedy instead. The acting is abysmal and the creatures are hysterical, especially how they place a towel over their private parts while the actors are clearly wearing green rubber suits.

The blood looked laughably like spaghetti sauce and one thing I couldn't figure out was why most of the cast was noticeably overweight. Were they supposed to be a Weight Watchers group or something?

It was distracting because most of them were so large that I wondered if it was just a coincidence or if it had something to do with the story. In any case, I knew this was a mindless, mediocre film going in and just wanted something on to pass the time while doing other things. If you're looking to be scared or even for some suspense, you'll be sorely disappointed.

If you're looking for something to pass the time and laugh at while watching, this is a good choice. And there's some adequate boobies too. 2 stars for the unintentional comedy.

A minute in, and you can't hear the dialogue because there is a beat in the background on loop. Fantastic sign. You increase the volume to hear the actor's mumbling. BAMM. A shootout and the sound effects are 500% louder than the dialogue. Fantastic. The title starts with music. Some sort of exposition is given through fake news reports. Can't hear it because of the music.

What I'm trying to say is that releasing films where the sound mixing was obviously done by a deaf person is an insult to your audience. I'm not asking for perfection, just basic competence.

Even a character exclaims "You've got to speak up!" at one point.

Okay, fine, the sound sucks. This is a movie called "Bermuda Island," what did I expect?

Tom Sizemore is in this. It's one of the 70 films he shot the last year before his death, and he looks rough. Like real rough. The other actors are unknown to me and for good reason. They play a motley crew that end up stranded on an island when their plane crashes.

Plot-twist, the island is inhabited by some kind of humanoid monster men, but are the real monsters or are the humans invading their island the real monsters? Yes, the monsters are the real monsters.

The island might be in the Bermuda triangle. The movie title suggests it, but I couldn't hear enough of dialogue to confirm it. It's amazingly bad and not in a fun way.

WARNING: NO SPOILERS ADDED AND THE WHOLE REVIEW TURNED OUT BETTER THAN THE MOVIE!

I truly don't even know how to rate this. I almost think they held a contest to see which writer could leave the most plot holes with a separate contest for the most predictable plot twists. I do not believe there was a director, just cameramen yelling action/cut and everyone picking their favorite part to add to the movie. As for the actors and actresses, I believe they may have had to pay for their parts in the movie. I can't believe anyone would pay for that dedicated quality.

I guess I am just too picky. Others actually gave this movie great ratings. I am trying to find one of those that was honest.

My experience with Bermuda Island left me somewhat perplexed. Let me be clear, it's evident from the outset that this is a production constrained by a modest budget. The performances are lackluster, the characters lack depth, and the storyline feels somewhat disorganized.

Regrettably, Tom Sizemore's presence in the film is fleeting, and his role appears disconnected from the main plot, seemingly interchangeable with any actor, which was disappointing, considering he's the lone renowned actor in the cast.

On a more positive note, the classic-style monsters featured in the movie pleasantly surprised me. While not of top-tier quality, the monster costumes were surprisingly passable, especially given the constraints of a small budget production like this.

Furthermore, the film's conclusion held an element of unpredictability, adding a layer of intrigue. While it didn't personally resonate with me, it undeniably introduced a plot twist. In my assessment, Bermuda Island comfortably fits within the 3-4 star range; I've certainly seen worse films.

There is literally nothing redeemable in this movie. Perhaps I can't actually make this claim because I doubt I'll be able to make it through to the end.

The first 10 minutes are so bad, I can only see this going down hill fast.

I honestly can't believe someone paid money to make this movie.

Here's a delicious piece of dialog from this fim:

(we're on an airplane. The pilot comes out of the cabin.)

An young adult woman says to the flight attendant (who just got hit on by the captain)

"excuse me" she says. "was that t he pilot?"

Flight attendant: "yeah"

Young woman: "are we going to die?"

Flight attendant: "... it's just that he probably had to use the restroom, or get a drink or something"

I mean, who writes this garbage?

Every bit of dialog is just like this.

It's like getting hit in the face with a hammer.

No subtlty... just blurting out one unrealistic line after another.

I guess people have to start somewhere with their acting career. I just have to imagine putting this on your acting credits might end up backfiring...