6.6/10
108
1 user 17 critic

This Ain't Star Trek XXX (2009)

The starship Enterprise finds the SS Botany Bay carrying humans from the 21st Century. Spock is fascinated by Ruth, who was dipped in Venus fluid moments after her birth. Ship historian Lt.... See full summary »

Director:

Axel Braun
Reviews
1 nomination. See more awards »
Learn more

More Like This 

Adult | Crime | Drama
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.5/10 X  

A beautiful young woman is found dead in a field with a broken beer bottle in her throat - the mystery is boundless.

Director: Paul Thomas
Stars: Sasha Grey, Penny Flame, Tom Byron
Not Bewitched XXX (Video 2008)
Adult | Comedy | Fantasy
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.5/10 X  

Samantha and Darren are about to celebrate Tabitha's first birthday when Aunt Clara uses a magic spell to turn Tabitha into an 18 year old. Unable to reverse the spell, the party proceeds ... See full summary »

Director: Will Ryder
Stars: Jenna Haze, Teagan Presley, Eva Angelina
Malice in Lalaland (Video 2010)
Action | Adult | Adventure
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
Director: Lew Xypher
Stars: Sasha Grey, Dirty Fred, Andy San Dimas
Adult | Adventure
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.9/10 X  

Pirate hunter Captain Edward Reynolds and his blond first mate, Jules Steel, return where they are recruited by a shady governor general to find a darkly sinister Chinese empress pirate, ... See full summary »

Director: Joone
Stars: Jesse Jane, Evan Stone, Belladonna
Flying Solo (Video 2008)
Adult
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.1/10 X  

An aspiring singer gets kicked out her own band leading her to work at a carwash under a penny pinching manager, Rodell Watkins. However, once she becomes caregiver to Gracie, she gains wisdom to persevere.

Director: Mick Blue
Stars: Joanna Angel, Julia Ann, Tori Black
Adult
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  

Heiress Lisa Carson, girlfriend to Bruce Wayne, is kidnapped by the Riddler. A call on the bat-phone summons Batman and Robin to police headquarters. A flick of the switch hidden in a bust ... See full summary »

Director: Axel Braun
Stars: Dale DaBone, James Deen, Lexi Belle
Seinfeld: A XXX Parody (Video 2009)
Adult | Comedy
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  

Gerry introduces Elaina to the Porn Nazi's store and she becomes obsessed with getting some herself. Crammer starts making his own porn movies and pairs Gorge's fiancée Suzanne with a stud ... See full summary »

Director: Lee Roy Myers
Stars: James Deen, Kristina Rose, Eric John
Babysitters (Video 2007)
Adult | Comedy
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.6/10 X  

A teenager turns her babysitting service into a call-girl service for married guys after fooling around with one of her customers.

Director: Robby D.
Stars: Jesse Jane, Sophia Santi, Shay Jordan
Pirates (Video 2005)
Adult | Adventure
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.4/10 X  

Swash and unbuckle. In 1763, the Caribbean is awash in pirates. The worst is Stagnetti, backed by his bloodthirsty first mate, Serena. He wants the Scepter of Inca, which gives its owner ... See full summary »

Director: Joone
Stars: Jesse Jane, Carmen Luvana, Janine Lindemulder
Adult | Comedy
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.1/10 X  

Nerdy roommates and their socially inept friends apply the scientific method to their shared inability to attract women. After much calculation their solution: Tell women what they want to hear. The new plan is wildly successful.

Director: Lee Roy Myers
Stars: Ashlynn Brooke, Joey Brass, Rocco Reed
Fly Girls (Video 2009)
Adult
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.5/10 X  

The skies are a whole lot friendlier when a group of the world's most beautiful stars pose as slutty flight attendants and sneak onto a plane to shoot a reality show.

Director: Robby D.
Stars: Jesse Jane, Jenna Haze, Janie Summers
Adult | Sci-Fi
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.8/10 X  

Superman saves Metropolis from Lex Luthor's giant missile, but inadvertently frees three Kryptonian criminals, who immediately head for Earth.

Director: Axel Braun
Stars: Ryan Driller, Andy San Dimas, Alexis Texas
Edit

Cast

Cast overview:
Evan Stone ... Captain James T. Kirk
Tony DeSergio ... Mr. Spock (as Tony De Sergio)
Cheyne Collins ... Dr. McCoy
Nick Manning ... Khan
Jada Fire ... Uhura
Ero Sennin Ero Sennin ... Sulu
Anthony Rosano ... Scotty
Codi Carmichael Codi Carmichael ... Nurse
Jenna Haze ... Ruth
Sasha Grey ... Chandra
Aurora Snow ... Marla
Edit

Storyline

The starship Enterprise finds the SS Botany Bay carrying humans from the 21st Century. Spock is fascinated by Ruth, who was dipped in Venus fluid moments after her birth. Ship historian Lt. Marla McGivers becomes entranced by Kahn, who plans to use her to take over the ship. A Vulcan female called Chandra, who just happens to be suffering from Pon Far, beams aboard to warn Kirk about Kahn and 'the Craving'. Indeed, Kahn releases the PSI2000 virus into the ships ventilation system which brightens everyones pupils. Dr. McCoy concludes that the only antidote is to have a powerful orgasm as soon as possible. Written by Il Tesoro

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

They Boldly Go There...

Genres:

Adult | Sci-Fi

Certificate:

X
Edit

Details

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Release Date:

12 May 2009 (USA) See more »

Company Credits

Production Co:

Hustler Video See more »
Show more on IMDbPro »

Technical Specs

Color:

Color
See full technical specs »
Edit

Did You Know?

Quotes

Captain James T. Kirk: Damn it, Spock! You're half human! You have to fuck her!
See more »

Connections

Followed by This Ain't Star Trek 3 XXX: This Is a Parody (2013) See more »

Frequently Asked Questions

This FAQ is empty. Add the first question.

User Reviews

Pastiche (read: ripoff), not spoof or satire
24 November 2009 | by lor_See all my reviews

Pornographers have found it profitable recently to churn out imitations of popular old TV series, aiming at a low-brow (or is it no-brow?) general public with a not quite suited for each other mix of nostalgia and smut. This one seemed promising on paper, what with the enduring fascination with Gene Roddenberry's STAR TREK, and a cast of some of the biggest names in current porn, but the result is a dud.

Evan Stone, who might earn the left-handed compliment of "best actor" in porn of recent years, as if acting is what mattered, does a reasonable impression of Capt. Kirk, though no attempt is made at imitating Shatner's bad hairpieces of the '60s. As proved in the "non-sex" reel presented here as a bonus (when they edit out the hardcore porn, we're left with just 20 minutes of movie), this is really an all-sex gonzo video, given the patina of respectability by an imitation of TREK's beloved SPACE SEED episode and THE WRATH OF KHAN feature, where Ricardo Montalban memorably chewed up the scenery. I guess timing is everything; RM was fortunate in this one sense to have passed away before this XXX farrago was released. Bug-eyed Nick Manning, with correct hairstyle, does an adequate job of imitating Khan. The rest of the cast is strictly on board for humping, not acting.

The material here is not funny -it's easier to imitate than to create a Sid Caesar/Mel Brooks/SCTV/Sat. Night Live satire. Untalented director Axel Braun, sadly according to IMDb the son of Lasse Braun from the Golden Age of hardcore, makes the BIG mistake of doing endless sex scenes -not the 4-minute variety back when porn was on the big screen but the 15-minute tedium-inducing editions prevalent today. It causes the film's story and raison d'etre to self-destruct; this one's impossible to watch without the fast forward button or Next Chapter click.

Jada Fire as Uhura actually gets to recite some lines of dialog, but basically she is little more than a doll for Stone and the poorly-cast Tony De Sergio as Spock to violate simultaneously in porn's ever popular D.P. mode. Supposedly this fulfills a trekker's long-held fantasy about the crew getting it on, but unfortunately it plays as just familiar porn performers going through the paces. Superstar Sasha Grey backslides after her moment-in-the-sun starring for Soderbergh, delivering a reel of sex in a nothing role here; ditto Jenna Haze, perhaps the most beautiful, and naturalistic, of all current porn stars, who is unforgivably styled and made up to be far less pretty here than in her usual porn videos -a complete waste. Busty starlet Codi Carmichael comes off the best among the femmes.

Of course this is not a big-budget effort, unlike the nuttily expensive PIRATES films made with some of these same cast members. But it does look okay, capturing the over-saturated colors of the original Star Trek TV show. Another porn ripoff aimed at the original TV show is called Star Trix, identifiable by its green-painted female sex object on the cover, but after suffering through this garbage I think I'll pass on that one.


11 of 18 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you? | Report this
Review this title | See one user review »

Contribute to This Page



Recently Viewed