I need you to teach me how to be a liar.
You don't need to whisper. We're at a law firm. Lying is encouraged here. Look, I'm not your guy for this. You need a low-level maintenance liar like Pete. "No, I've never been married before." "Yeah, I definitely own my own home." "No, this isn't a cold sore." I'm the guy who you come to when you're ready to perjure yourself to protect an Australian mining consortium.
Ruxin, you are the best worst person I know.