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- Wayne: [singing] Jingle bells / Wayne is swell / He's a director / Don't be late / For our date / Under the mistletoe!
- Timmy Terwelp: You're a lot smaller than Santa's helpers at the mall. Are you a baby elf?
- Wayne: Uh - I am not a baby. I have a pension.
- Wayne: [Opening lines] Have you ever wondered how it all gets done? How Santa gets in and out of millions of homes all in one night? Let's just say he has a little help. The operation has its challenges, but we're always prepared. Our mission statement is: Get in. Get out. Never be noticed. I'm part of Prep and Landing, an elite unit of elves getting houses ready, around the world, for the big guy's arrival.
- Magee: Nothing will go wrong, nothing will go wrong, nothing will go wrong...
- Mission control elf: Sir, there's a storm alert over Sector 7.
- Magee: Oh, frostbite!
- The Big Guy: Oh, I'm afraid Magee's rerouting me son.
- Wayne: Sir, there's a child here that's really excited for you. We cannot let him down! I can land you safely. I have a plan. And there is time. *Please* sir, let me do my job. I *can't* let Timmy down!
- Wayne: [singing] Jingle bells / Wayne is swell / He's a director / Don't be late / For our date / Under the mistletoe!
- Wayne: We are just tiny ornaments in a gigantic tree, slaving away. And for what?
- Lanny: For what? For him. Just look at that face, Wayne. Just imagine his face when he wakes up tomorrow morning. Think of all the memories he'll pass on to his children, and his children's children. The passion may be gone for you, Wayne, but it's not gone for him.
- Wayne: You'll learn, rookie.
- The Big Guy: It's just a little snow, Magee. I can handle it.
- Magee: It's not that, sir. The site's not prepped. We have no choice... Figgy Pudding.
- [All gasp]
- The Big Guy: It's never come to that! What about Timmy?
- Magee: With all due respect, sir, there are millions of other children counting on you. You can't let them down. We'll make it up to Timmy somehow, I promise.
- Wayne: [to a cookie shaped Santa] That's right I'm being naughty. Tell you buddy Peterson to put me on the list.
- Lanny: B-b-but that means the Big Guy's passing us by. What about Timmy? What about his Christmas?
- Wayne: [sighs] Well I, uh, I never meant that - *this* could happen.
- Timmy Terwelp: [Dreaming of Christmas] This will be the best Christmas ever.
- Wayne: Hey, you get a scratch on it and I'm putting you on the naughty list. Ha ha! Just kidding. But I could.