Dark Relic

I cannot believe I sat through this whole thing, but that's how bored I was before -- mercifully -- having to head off to work Sunday afternoon. Tepid tale about a group of knights carrying home a piece of the one true cross at the end of one of the Crusades. Unfortunately, this piece of wood attracts a demon, which in turn unleashes various plagues on them, including assaults by dead birds, wolves and bats -- or maybe they were locusts. It was hard to tell. Most of the time, the soldiers and others they meet along the way just stand around and talk. And talk. And then stand around some more. The demon is on screen for a few seconds in the middle and then for a couple of minutes at the end, but clearly this is where the majority of the movie's budget went. The film is just another in the endless stream of bad Sci-Fi Channel CGI creature features. The acting is not as bad as the dialog, thank God, but we do have to suffer listening to accents that range from veddy British to straight outta Brooklyn. What a waste. The occasional sword fights are clumsily staged, and the final battle with the demon is even worse. A brief sequence involving possessed monks in a monastery looks like it was pieced together from outtakes from Sam Raimi's ARMY OF DARKNESS. I am giving this dreadful flick a 2 instead of a 1 for the two very hot-looking babes who accompany the ragtag band of soldiers. It doesn't say here, but clearly this was shot in either Canada or Romania. Same difference. Boring scenery, bad mix of accents. By the way, instead of watching this, catch the Hollywood oldie-but-moldy, THE MAGIC SWORD (aka ST. GEORGE AND THE SEVEN CURSES). It has a similar plot and is a heckuva lot more entertaining and fun.