Hank Lawson: [noticing the wealth of Tucker's residence] And who is "Dad?"
Tucker Bryant: Uh, Marshall David Bryant IV.
Hank Lawson: Never heard of him.
Tucker Bryant: Yeah, uh, well, that's 'cause this is my great-grandfather's money he spends, collecting all those toys.
Hank Lawson: Who's your great-grandfather?
Tucker Bryant: Uh, Marshall David Bryant II.
Hank Lawson: Never hear of him either.
Tucker Bryant: Ever use a blender?
Hank Lawson: Yeah.
Tucker Bryant: You're welcome.
Dr. Hank Lawson: [looking at the not-so-grand hotel where they're going to stay] Fit for a king, huh?
Evan Lawson: Uh, I didn't say which country.
Hank Lawson: Trip? What trip?
Evan Lawson: Are you kidding? To the Hamptons! I've been telling you about this all month.
Hank Lawson: Yeah, and all month I've been saying "No way."
Evan Lawson: I thought you meant no way like "No WAY!"
Hank Lawson: I haven't meant it that way since I was ten.
Hank Lawson: You really came prepared.
Divya: Core wound care, home diagnostics, infusion I.V.
Hank Lawson: Why does a P.A. drive around with them in her trunk?
Divya: Well, they were on sale.
Hank Lawson: Divya.
Divya: Look, I want to show you all I can bring to the table. I mean, besides my work ethic, my knowledge of the Hamptons, my relationships with the locals...
Evan Lawson: [interrupts] Your superbly well-toned figure.
Divya: Don't objectify me, sidekick.
Libby: Please, Hank, you have to save him. It's Tucker.
Hank Lawson: [thoughtful] Okay, I need a bottle of Vodka, a very sharp pointed knife, a... a Bic pen, a sandwich baggie and some duct tape.
Libby: Sandwich baggie, duct tape. Who are you? MacGuyver?
Ms. Newberg: I've got a flat tire.
Hank Lawson: Okay, I'm not Triple A.
Ms. Newberg: [exasperated that he doesn't catch on] No!
[opens her coat]
Ms. Newberg: A flat TIRE!
Hank Lawson: [short delay] Oh...
Divya Katdare: ...Dear.
Evan Lawson: What's my favorite sport, Hank?
Dr. Hank Lawson: Extreme social climbing?
Evan Lawson: [brief pause] Yeah. Yeah.
Evan Lawson: Bro, this is where God would party.
Dr. Hank Lawson: [trying to speak over the noise] If he could get in.
Boris: [after Hank tries to get someone to call 911] No paramedics.
Dr. Hank Lawson: You mean no cops.
[Snaps a picture of April]
Evan Lawson: Sorry. I just gotta... send that to...
Evan Lawson: [to himself] ... everyone I've ever met.
N.Y. Hospital Administrator: [as she delivers the verdict] ... and your star was only on the rise.
Dr. Hank Lawson: Was?
[a couple of pretty girls pass by]
Evan Lawson: How are ya?
Dr. Hank Lawson: [semi-appalled] Dude, they can't even vote.
Evan Lawson: What?... What?
Dr. Hank Lawson: It's just wrong.
Evan Lawson: [speaking into his phone] Note to self: Become a doctor.
Dr. Hank Lawson: [to Libby] You're just a cyberchondriac - a rabid cyberchondriac, I'm afraid - but, uh, it's nothing that'll kill you.
Tucker Bryant: [stifles a laugh; Libby looks at him] Sorry.
Tucker Bryant: [to Hank, about Libby] Yeah, dude, don't punk the 'crackberry.' She'll light yo ass up like a Christmas tree.
Evan Lawson: Honestly, it smells so bad... It smells like a moose had sex with a bucket of Chinese food in here, like musty... and you kind of look like Jesus and Patrick Dempsey had a child, and that child grew older and then got really sick.
Dr. Hank Lawson: That's weird.
[to a model who's flirting with him at the party]
Hank Lawson: I have no money, no job, and my Saab is older than you.
Dr. Silver: [to Hank] Dr. Hotshot! Those observant eyes of yours, you better keep 'em open wide, 'cause you ain't seen nothin' yet.
Hospital Administrator: Well, bad luck rained and poured, didn't it, while you had our senior CT surgeon in another room?
Hank Lawson: To help me rescue a crashing patient. I made a judgment call.
Hospital Administrator: You made a mistake. A fatal one.
Hank Lawson: Why would I want to spend tonight partying with a bunch of people whose biggest problems revolve around whether or not to send their Yorkshire terriers to therapy, huh? Give me one decent reason.
Evan Lawson: I'm gonna give you two. You're all out of booze.
Hank Lawson: Oh.
Evan Lawson: Two, Netflix froze your account.
Evan Lawson: [finding a beautiful woman knocking at the front door] I'm still asleep, right?
April: Um, I'm looking for Hank.
Evan Lawson: Not if it's MY dream you're not.
Hank Lawson: [noticing Tucker's limp] You know what? Let me have a look at that leg.
Tucker Bryant: Oh, no. I'm solid, man. I'm just a bit banged up, but what would be mighty fine of you is if we could keep this whole little episode on the DL?
Hank Lawson: [laughs] You don't think Dad'll notice the, uh, Ferrari Challenge out front that looks like it's been through your great-grandfather's invention?
Tucker Bryant: Uh, no. He's at his San-Tropez beach house for the next ten days. I have plenty of time.
Hank Lawson: That's a half-million-dollar piece of hand-assembled machinery. Ten days is plenty of time to repair it?
Tucker Bryant: No, not repair it, replace it.
Hank Lawson: Aren't there, like, seventy in the world?
Tucker Bryant: Uh, yeah, but I only need to buy one. Look, what Dad doesn't know won't hurt him, and you can't really put a price on not hurting your old man, right? I mean, this is what trust funds are for.
Hank Lawson: I guess we can leave the toys in the car. Evan, that includes you!
Hank Lawson: Ms. Newberg, you're in a hospital.
Ms. Newberg: No, this is not a hospital.
Hank Lawson: It's not?
Ms. Newberg: It's a socialist conspiracy. Apparently, if you're not holding your dismembered leg in your hand, you don't require treatment.
Divya: Offer to pay him generously.
Hank Lawson: Divya.
Divya: He needs the money.
Ms. Newberg: I'll pay any amount.
Hank Lawson: That's not the point.
Ms. Newberg: I'll pay enough money to make it the point.
Evan Lawson: Come to the party, okay? Come on. It's an evening with New Parts Newberg. Like, how exclusive does THAT sound?
Hank Lawson: Consider me excluded.
Evan Lawson: What're you gonna do here?
Hank Lawson: Relax. Think.
Evan Lawson: Okay, cool, well, think hard - or not too hard. Whatever's better for me. But just so you know, as your brother and accountant...
Hank Lawson: Get out or you'll cease to be either one.
Evan Lawson: Bam. I love ya.
Hank Lawson: I like you.
Evan Lawson: [exiting] Have fun with your thoughts.