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REVISITING PROMETHEUS
gogoschka-111 March 2018
Warning: Spoilers
It appears many film fans - particularly fans of the ALIEN franchise - dislike PROMETHEUS with a passion, and some of the criticism the film gets is certainly justified. My own issues with PROMETHEUS are mostly script related; several characters seem surprisingly bland or underwritten, which could be due to the many rewrites the script went through, or because some scenes and dialogue that would have been important for the audience to understand the characters' motivations were cut from the final film for time. So PROMETHEUS undoubtedly has its share of problems, but I'm not interested in listing those; there are already whole blogs and even websites dedicated to PROMETHEUS' flaws. Instead, I would like to try to make a case for the things the film does well, because I believe there are some really nice ideas and concepts in PROMETHEUS that deserve to be appreciated. Once you disregard the science aspects (which are presented in such an annoyingly over-simplified way that they appear laughable), and instead approach PROMETHEUS as a sci-fi/mystery/monster movie - which, by the way, is how I view all ALIEN films - with some smarter than average twists, it delivers. Now before you start yelling at me, please hear me out.

The first thing I would like to talk about - also because it's the aspect I love the most about PROMETHEUS - is how the ancient Greek saga about the creation and evolution of humankind is woven into the story. I've often wondered why so many people who dislike the film claim to do so on the grounds of it not giving any answers, when it so clearly does: they may not be spelled out in detail, but in broad strokes, they are (nearly) all there in the title. In Greek mythology, Prometheus was the titan who created (or "engineered") mankind. But he did much more than that; he became mankind's greatest benefactor and protector; he visited his creation again and again and helped the humans evolve by bringing them knowledge (which he did against the will of the gods) - and he ultimately even stole the secret of fire from the gods and gave it to humankind, which is the moment in their mythology/history that the ancient Greeks saw as the dawn of civilization.

In the ancient tale, Zeus was so enraged by Prometheus' betrayal - and mankind's greatest gain in knowledge - that he subsequently wanted to wipe Prometheus' creation from the face of the earth. His elaborate plan on how to achieve that goal involved sending a certain box to the humans - the infamous Pandora's Box - which, once opened, would unleash hell upon humankind. In the film PROMETHEUS it is implied that the creation of humankind is something the "engineers" (aka the gods) also regret - most likely because in a similar story beat as in the Prometheus saga, the engineer "monks" we witness at the beginning of the film help mankind attain too much knowledge (which, as our species' shockingly violent history proves, we humans ultimately always end up using to build weapons to murder one another in ever greater numbers). So consequently, for reasons Zeus would probably understand, the engineers end up declaring humankind as a failed experiment that needs to be terminated: and what better way to do that than with bio-weapons sent to Earth that function like little "Pandora's boxes"?

Another strong similarity between PROMETHEUS' engineers and the ancient Greek gods - in addition to the fact that the engineers obviously look very much like Greek statues of Greek gods - is that both are portrayed as being just as flawed as the humans. The gods in Greek mythology have all the character traits of ordinary people: they fight, they lust, they hate - and they make mistakes. What I absolutely loved in PROMETHEUS (because I found it darkly funny too) is that the engineers ultimately are no better than we are. They create bio-weapons they don't really know how to control: and they eff up big time before they get to destroy the humans, and they get wiped out by their own weapons. Their technology may be very advanced, but they haven't exactly reached a state of wisdom and transcendence, and the big question doctors Shaw and Holloway want to ask them will not get a satisfying answer for that very reason. This is something the android David instantly understands (which is another smart idea in the film), because he was created by humankind, and HE certainly never got a satisfying answer from us why HE was created, which is something he remarks upon to Holloway.

And David is also very aware that the humans don't treat him, their creation, as their equal; they are either condescending towards him or treat him with contempt: so why should the engineers feel and behave any different towards the humans? And knowing his human creators doesn't seem to have inspired a lot of respect for them in David, and he clearly isn't in awe of them - on the contrary; David actually sees himself as the superior being. This is hinted at when Holloway insensitively remarks: "They're making you guys pretty close (to humans), huh?" to which David responds with an icy smile: "Not too close, I hope." And yet, because David was created in the image of the humans (just like the humans were created in the image of the gods aka "the engineers"), he is so very much like them. David may lack human empathy and a conscience, but we learn early in the film that he is every bit as curious in his own way as Shaw and Holloway are. Only where Shaw is naive, he is reckless; like a child exploring the world around him, he wants to know how everything functions, but his quest for knowledge is not hindered by ethics or a strong moral compass. So it shouldn't surprise us that in the next darkly ironic twist, David, very much like the humans who created him and the engineers who created the humans, conducts his own little experiment. He too wants to create something new "just because he can".

And in the last (and perhaps meanest) twist of the film, we learn how right David was in his assessment of the engineers' probable mindset regarding humankind, when the last surviving engineer is revealed to have nothing but contempt for the "things" his kind has created. Instead of giving them answers, he just swipes them away like bothersome flies. So, upon closer inspection, the film is actually almost beat for beat a retelling (or darkly funny modern continuation) of the Prometheus saga, - as well as a clever exploration of the dynamics between creator and creation - and in that regard the film works surprisingly well.

On a side note, there's another story element in the film that is worth mentioning (although it will probably only be appreciated by film geeks and sci-fi nerds such as myself), because it's one that's virtually identical to a very important part of the narrative in another sci-fi film by Ridley Scott. In PROMETHEUS, Peter Weyland's life-span is nearing its end, and so he's travelling through space in a desperate attempt to find his creator and ask him for more life. Sound familiar? Of course it does: in Ridley Scott's BLADE RUNNER (1982), a group of androids (in the film they are called "replicants") who are used as slaves off-world, manage to escape to Earth. They're led by Roy Batty (played by Rutger Hauer) whose life is about to end. By design, the life-span of replicants is limited to only a couple of years, so Roy Batty is desperate to find his creator, Eldon Tyrell, to ask him for more life. Now in PROMETHEUS, Ridley Scott and Damon Lindelof cleverly reverse the situation and put the human character in the unfortunate position the replicants from BLADE RUNNER find themselves in. And it's not just any human character who has to share the fate of the androids from the earlier film: Weyland is a creator of artificial life much in the same way Eldon Tyrell is in BLADE RUNNER: he is his exact counterpart in the ALIEN franchise. That story element seems to be a clear nod to Scott's cyberpunk classic, which is another little detail I liked in the film.

So, to conclude my musings in defense of this often derided film: the way I see it, PROMETHEUS' biggest mistake (apart from the uneven character work in the script) is pretending to be straight "hard" sci-fi, which it clearly isn't. What it is, though, is a beautiful looking sci-fi/mystery movie which plays with some very clever concepts, but remembers a little late in the story that it also wants to be a monster movie. And while it may be a flawed film, it's full of interesting ideas and certainly more original than 95% of the sci-fi/mystery/monster films that came out over the last 25 years - plus on a purely visual level, it's a feast. As far as I'm concerned, it deserves another look.

P.S. For those who are interested, this review was a much abbreviated version of an in-depth look at the film (which also provides answers to its most prominent questions), and you can find the full piece here: reelhounds.com/prometheus-revisited

More reviews and lists:

Favorite films: IMDb.com/list/mkjOKvqlSBs/

Favorite TV-Shows reviewed: imdb.com/list/ls075552387/

Lesser-Known Masterpieces: imdb.com/list/ls070242495/

Favorite Low-Budget and B-Movies: imdb.com/list/ls054808375/
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3/10
Ridley Scott forgot everything about great movies except for the craft
michael-albertsen31 May 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I'm really sorry, but this a major disappointment.

No, I didn't expect miracles or something close to the original Alien. I've been following Scott for 30 years - and it's clear that he has been on the decline since Gladiator and Black Hawk Down.

I liked a few of his later movies like A Good Year - but most have been rather flat and uninspired.

One thing I've noticed, is that he's gotten increasingly complacent with his own "point of view" in terms of historical facts and how things work in reality. It's like he has a complete disregard for plausible motivations or factual information about how things work.

Case in point - there's a scene in the movie where a certain character has to have an operation performed on her body - and it involves slicing directly through the skin and muscle-tissue of her abdomen. After the procedure, she's simply "stitched together" by metal clips in like 3 seconds - and with a bit of local anesthetic, she continues to move and jump about with some moaning. Ehm, you CAN'T have any kind of normal movement with your muscle tissue completely severed - and there was absolutely no healing involved. Just one of a series of ridiculous events.

The plot is entirely juvenile and cliché stuff with "profound" questions like who created us. For some reason, the beings who created us also want to kill us - and it seems to involve incredibly elaborate genetic engineering that also happened to kill most of them in their remote "lab facility". They're CLEARLY much more powerful than we are - and they could just bomb the hell out of us, or do it in a thousand simpler ways. But no, they seem to want to utilize excessively elaborate and dangerous genetic modification or infestation - that they can't even control.

They also like to record recent events with some kind of holographic recorder device that is unable to render clear images, only some cool ghostly images that I bet Scott loved to play with. But they're quite flexible in how they let you play recordings of their security procedure - so you can access their systems without effort.

Characters are void of personality and growth, they're REALLY stupid - and they like to freak out for no reason, and they like to stay calm and playful when there IS a reason - like when encountering a nasty looking cobra-worm - an alien - for the first time in history.

Among these faceless people - we have some willing to gleefully commit suicide by ramming an alien ship, because they like their captain, and they're required to do so because he "can't fly worth a damn" - despite him being the primary pilot hired by a billionaire to do nothing but fly the ship.

We have a religious scientist who concludes that she's found our creators, based on: "It's what I choose to believe".

Then we have the very same religious scientist look at an alien "head" they brought back - and she notices some strange growth on it. She then spends 2 seconds thinking and concludes that this is obviously some kind of "foreign cells" (impressive deduction, I must say) - and she decides to stimulate the cells with electricity - just to see what happens. No research - no caution - no nothing.

We have people who decide to open the door to their ship, seemingly with no thought process, despite having just faced complete chaos by extremely hostile alien forces - because one of their crew mates seems to be lying in front of the door. This while other crew mates have just been taken over by some kind of alien infestation.

Then we have the boyfriend of said religious scientist (a douche) who decides that the air in an alien environment is safe to breathe because his device tells him it is - and he immediately removes his helmet. A classic Hollywood scientist moment, and clearly there's no need to worry about biological contaminants in a place like that.

This movie is FULL of this kind of utterly implausible behavior and random decisions.

It has a couple of "for effect" gore scenes - but Scott manages to include ZERO tension along with them. As a result, they're mildly disgusting - but they have no lasting effect whatsoever.

The "aliens" that are a part of this movie all look like plastic - because of overly smooth and pale skin. They look like Lovecraft creatures without a much-needed paint-job.

We have a horribly predictable, pointless and wasted twist involving Guy Pearce and a certain other cast member.

We have an android, well-acted by Fassbender, who seems to be fully random in his decisions and motivations. Few actions made sense in any context - not to me anyway.

The music was overwrought and didn't fit with the mood of the film, and it seemed like one theme being repeated endlessly. A surprise, given Scott's usual flair for good music.

I think Lindelof is a complete and total hack - who only got the job because he was the "yes-man" who could match Scott's ego. This is pretty obvious in interviews - where Lindelof always manages to publicly kiss Scott's behind.

1 Star for Fassbender's performance.

1 Star for the amazingly detailed visuals.

1 Star for how the above combine to form the excellent beginning.

Now, it's just a matter of leaning back - musing over a thousand different people coming up with a thousand different explanations - each being the "correct" interpretation of this deep and thought-provoking masterpiece.

Going by the IMDb rating, I can do nothing but stay mesmerized by how efficient it is to rely on the "Emperor's New Clothes" effect and let hype do the rest. Stay real Scott, Lindelof and Hollywood.
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1/10
Where no idiot has gone before
BJBatimdb5 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Prometheus is the story of a trillion-dollar mission to discover the origins of human life on a distant planet. Basically, this is supposed to be the greatest exploration undertaken in the history of mankind.

So who do they send? A gaggle of fractious goons whose collective scientific nous is rivalled only by that of the Three Stooges. Within minutes of touching down (conveniently beside the only 'man-made' structures on the planet, a'la 1960s Star Trek) the 'scientists' are yanking off their helmets, on the basis of 'it seems fine to me', dipping their fingers into strange organic ooze, and lugging a severed alien head back to an unquarantined spaceship in a sandwich bag.

Once there, they speedily discover the meaning of life. Then, while one of them gets a bit drunk, his two female companions decide it would be useful to stimulate the head electrically to reanimate it. They don't say why. They give it a bit too much juice, then too little,then dither over too much or too little like a couple of schoolgirls fiddling with a dicky bunsen burner, while the most important scientific discovery in human history waggles its ears and rolls its eyes - before eventually blowing up like a frog in a microwave.

Are the scientists abashed? Is the man angry? Do they all calm down and remember they have degrees in clever things, not diplomas in macramé? Do they heck.

The WHOLE MOVIE is a litany of ludicrous so-called science, schoolboy errors, and pseudo-profundity about the origin of species. Ironic really, when none of the crew would have a chance in hell in any sort of contest governed by Darwinian rules.

Crass stupidity is rampant in every department. Hi-tech helmets record every heartbeat - apparently until anything worth recording happens; stranded crewmates are abandoned to their fate in favour of a quick shag, and the spaceship door is opened to anyone who comes a-knocking. Although, after hitting the 'welcome' button, Idris Elba does do a double take and go 'Hold on a second!' but that might have just been an involuntary ad lib at his own character's baffling idiocy.

There is spectacular cinematography and effects, but not one iota of originality has been squandered on plot, subtext, tension or characters - which are as shallow as the Prometheus's muddy little gene pool.

Ridley Scott is a hero of mine, but Prometheus is not the intelligent, emotionally satisfying prequel that Alien deserves. It's a derisory, empty experience - and anyone who loved Alien is surely too old and too smart to be fobbed off with something this bad just because it's shiny.
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4/10
Amateur hour
Jey Stone2 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Lindelhoffed /'LinDelHôfd/

Verb:

1 a : Similar to a "Rick Roll", when one is conned into viewing a series of moving pictures with no conclusive finale, despite the viewer investing a lot of emotion and time in the story.

b (1) : a bottom feeder (2) : to Lindelhoff, much like a cock tease, when a sexual partner brings the other to the point of climax but then bails just before reaching orgasm.

PROMETHEUS Plot holes AND IRRITATIONS ***SPOILERS***

1. The dreams sequence. David can watch Shaw's dreams. Amazingly this technology also cuts from scene to scene like a movie camera...Please. No one dreams like that.

2. How did they randomly find the temple so quick? This is an entire planet surface!

3. Why was the landing so soft and easy?

4. Why does Fifield start screaming at Shaw like that? Calm down mate..jeez..And later on with an Alien cobra he is cool as ice.

5. Why does that moron Buddy Holly scientist try and touch the cobra alien? not once....not twice...but 3 TIMES!!!

6. Why on earth would a scientist remove their helmets in a possibly infected temple? I am just a civilian and even I understand the concept of VIRUS CONTAMINATION ON AN ALIEN FRIGGIN PLANET. They then have the cheek to talk about Shaw's strict quarantine fail-safe procedures...please

7. What does this Black Goo do exactly? Accelerate worm growth? Infect crew members? Cause pregnancies? Create life? Pick one and stick to it please

8. Why does Ford straight away start giving the head electricity for kicks? Do they not have procedures? What is this fun with Frankenstein?

9. Why does the head explode?

10. Why are the medical staff so damn careless with a possibly disease ridden and bacteria infested decapitated head? I swear they didn't even wear plastic gloves.

11. How did Shaw know the Jockey was heading to Earth to destroy it? Pretty big assumption from a couple of punches thrown.

12. How does David know the Space Jockey is heading to kill Shaw on the Medical Bay?

13. How does Shaw know her baby will attack the Jockey?

14. i was really amazed that Shaw has this 'baby' but fails to mention the horrific and super extraordinary situation she had just been through. ''oh hey guys, ha ha, nearly forgot. FYI, you won't believe what just happened to me on the way here''....''i just gave birth to an alien..'' ''yeah, i know CRAZY right, considering i had sex only 10 BLOODY HRS AGO!!''

15. -The whole Vickers' Star Wars 'Father' line...

16. -The 'bet' between the co-pilots was cringe-worthy

17. HUGE ONE…How the hell does Shaw walk after abdominal surgery? If abdominal muscle is cut you can NOT walk, the muscle needs to be sewn back…But no, a few staples and she is good to go…

18. Why does the tentacle creature have tentacles from the evil Planet X?

19. Why do the space jockeys allow any old tramp to walk in an use their security systems?

20. Why does the space jockey want to kill, kill and kill…You'd think an advanced race would be a little civilised?

21. What was the point of Guy Pearce as Weyland? Why was he even there? So he just assumed this temple would contain a fountain of life…..right….I guess he 'chose to believe' too…f**k me…

Honestly there are so many more I can't even write them all…But this movie has more plot-holes than the Iraqi Navy
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1/10
Ridiculous nonsense.
Animal Software3 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
WARNING: LOTS OF SPOILERS.

Synopsis: Two archaeologists find some old drawings of an alien and a star map. They "choose to believe" that the aliens created human life. So they travel to the planet identified in the drawings. When they arrive at the planet, the members of the expedition all work against each other even though they all want the same thing. Each member then repeated does really stupid things until most of them are dead. The film ends before we see the final stupid decision actually kill the last surviving members.

Nothing the characters did made any sense:

> The robot without feelings falls in love with a woman.

> The robot then risks her life because he wants to preserve the parasite inside her. Why? No reason.

> The expedition is searching for life, but the biologist wants to return to the ship when they find a 2000 year old corpse.

> The geologist also wants to return to the ship rather than look at rocks.

> The geologist then gets lost despite being in charge of the mapping device.

> The top boss pays for the expedition, but pretends he's dead and hides on the ship. Why? No reason.

> The leader of the expedition refuses to cooperate with either the robot or the archaeologists - even though they all want the same thing.

> The alien tries to kill everyone, so the surviving characters decide to go to the alien's home planet to talk to them.

Another issue that kept annoying me was the inaccurate terminology used. There was no reason for it - it was just wrong. For example, at one point the archaeologists talk about abiogenesis and the biologist weirdly starts talking about evolution. Later on, a head exploded (like in Scanners) and the scientist says "Why did that head combust?". I don't expect screenwriters to have degrees, but they should at least look up words in the dictionary.

The CGI is good and the acting would be fine if the actors had been given something worthwhile to do. But every other aspect of the film was a disappointing waste of time.

1/10
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6/10
Good special effects, poor, poor writing
Michal Dudek3 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I must admit that the special effects and overall scale of the film is epic. But for crying out loud the plot is thin as paper and the writing is very very bad. None of the characters are acting in a logical way. There is no explainable motivations behind their actions and the story behind the alien race contradicts itself. After watching it I have a feeling it's just a collection of cool ideas put together without any logic to link them. The film pretends to raise some philosophical questions but it's done in a very childish way and in the end you can "choose to believe" whatever you want despite the evidence to the contrary.

**************************SPOILER*****************************

They come to this alien planet (not Alien alien, just extraterrestrial) and decide to land immediately without any surveillance from the orbit. Luckily out of the whole planet the place they happened to fly over had alien structures so they land there. Only then the scientists learn from the mission director what they are allowed to do. They go to this alien structure with their hi-tech equipment and an android. The android presses all the buttons he can find like 5 year old and nobody's surprised that he doesn't explain anything. Apparently he mastered a couple of ancient earth languages but that's no explanation to why he understands alien writings. The guy operating the hi-tech probes that map the structure suddenly flips out when he sees an alien corpse while everyone else is cool, decides to go back to the ship and gets lost in the tunnels. In the structure they decide that the air is breathable on the basis of it's chemical composition and take off their helmets. Who in their right mind exposes oneself to an alien environment. You don't know what can be in this air especially that you're looking for alien life. Then out of nowhere a sand storm appears as if triggered by their actions. So they retreat and they take the alien head with them to the ship while the geo-expert most competent on finding his way back gets lost in the structure. In the ship they do decontamination of the alien head but they fail to decontaminate their own heads after the exposure to the alien environment. And now the best happens: The paleontologist/archaeologist suddenly becomes an expert on alien physiology and just by looking at the head decides that there are some new cell outgrowths on the forehead. They decide to reanimate a 2000(?) year old head by using electroshocks after which the head explodes. (What was the point of that scene? To show their incompetence?) Then they examine the alien DNA under the microscope(!) and the analysis tells them it matches human DNA. (Wow really? After millions of years of evolution of human species it's still the same? Oh wait, you can "choose to believe" so. Yet the opening scene of the alien committing suicide and dispersing in the water with cool particle effects suggests that he initiated all the life on the planet. But then again the ancient cultures worshipped the solar system the alien structures were on. So maybe we are their direct descendants. But it's not where the alien race comes from. It's just a storage place for biological weapon. Why would the aliens leave an "invitation" to their military base?) Meanwhile the android opens one of the vases they found in the structure like he knew exactly what he's doing. All in his room without any secure containment. He brakes open a vial of unidentified liquid which for all he knows could be kryptonite or cool-aid and decides to roofie one of the scientist with it. Meanwhile the guys that were afraid of the alien corpse and got lost in the structure decide to make friends with a snakelike life form that emerged from a puddle and get raped by it. The roofied scientist gets sick but before that he manages to have sex with his colleague (Elizabeth) and impregnate her with an alien life form. Then the android scans the Elizabeth on the next day like he knew what he was looking for and tries to restrain her so she will give birth to an alien. (Why would he want to do that???) She escapes and uses automated surgical chamber to remove the alien from her belly. The procedure cuts through her whole abdomen and then staples it back together. From now on she runs around in all action scenes with her severed abdominal muscles. (The least they could do is show some hi-tech quick healing procedure or something.) She escapes and finds Wayland to be on the ship and he's looking for cure to old age. No one is surprised she has a gushing wound across her abdomen and they embark on another trip to the alien structure which turned out to be a spaceship. They revive one of the alien crew members which goes on a killing rampage after a chat with the android (no explanation why) and decides to fly the spaceship to eradicate life on earth. Fortunately after a quick chat with the female protagonist the pilots enthusiastically decide to go kamikaze on the alien spaceship and die with smiles on their faces. Then there is the nerve wrecking scene of the doughnut spaceship rolling and chasing Elizabeth and Meredith in a straight line when all they had to do to avoid it was to step aside. The alien pilot somehow survives the crash and comes back with a revenge on his mind. It is defeated by the foetus Elizabeth gave birth to which grew to a gigantic size on absolutely nothing in a matter of hours closed in the operation chamber. In the end Elizabeth joins forces with the android who poisoned her lover and tried to kill her as well and they fly off to find the home planet of the alien race.
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1/10
You too, Ridley?
yogsottoth3 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
SUCKED BIG TIME! The story was all over the place, most of the characters were completely unnecessary and underdeveloped, and there were no creatures to talk about really. I wasn't even tensed up for a second, let alone being scared.

Can you imagine a biologist guy, signed up for a mission to explore a different race, shitting his pants and literally leaving the scene at the first sight of an alien body that's been dead for 2000 years? Well, Ridley Scott could. However, the same guy goes ape schit over a real, moving alien cobra-thing and wants to cuddle her! Perfectly consistent character writing! And what the hell was that android guy trying to do with his plots and schemes? What was your plan? Who actually did you serve? And Shaw who did nothing to fill in Ripley's shoes... She attacks the crew, performs a surgery -I'm not even gonna touch that one- that probably overthrows a plan in motion, comes out covered in blood and no one even says "Hey! What the heck?" and they go on another expedition together? And what was that space jockey's problem!? Relax, dude!! I mean you have to be a really mean bastard, consumed with rage to come out of a crashed ship and go after a woman you missed the chance to beat up before.

The final suicide mission could easily be completed with 1 guy.

I will never understand what Shaw hoped to achieve by going after "our creators" to "find the answers". What answer are you gonna find with a beheaded android by your side from a race that clearly thrives on rage and hostility? And finally, this was the most UNNECESSARY use of Guy Pearce ever in a movie.

Making fun of a Ridley Scott movie... Wow, I thought THAT would never happen.
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1/10
Is this a resurrected script by Ed Wood?
mnjarmour24 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
This is not so much a review as a means for me to entertain myself and thereby derive some enjoyment from having sat through this movie.

HI, I'm Elizabeth Shaw. Late in the movie I'll run around the spaceship in my underwear covered in blood with staples across my abdomen. This is a common occurrence in 2093 because nobody will think to ask "Hey, what happened to you?"

I'm Meredith Vickers. I'm a narcissistic battle-axe who is only in it for me. Never mind that I could have stayed on earth and run my dad's company. Seems traveling with him to experience the same unknown and potentially lethal fate was the smarter option. Did I mention that I brought this amazing piece of surgical technology, apparently for my own benefit, but that doesn't work on women? Oopsie!

I'm David. I'm an android whose condescendingly polite tone serves no other purpose than to annoy the hell out of you throughout your journey (and the movie). Said journey will be mercifully short thanks to me. I take incredibly stupid and shortsighted risks for a seemingly intelligent artificial life-form. I poison one of the crew members that my creator spent a lot of money to send up here. No matter that the introduction of alien DNA into the ship could put everyone's life at risk including the frail old guy it is my mission to serve. I'll make it all right in the end.

Hello. My name is Millburn and I'm a biologist. In the future we've forgotten the lesson of The Crocodile Hunter and Sigfried and Roy: namely that wild animals are unpredictable and potentially lethal. When I come across an unknown life-form on an inhospitable planet, naturally I'm going to approach it like a puppy at a dog pound.

I'm Fifield, a geologist. Early in the movie I introduce myself as a one-dimensional malcontent with no concerns beyond money. My social skills are such that I have no compunction about saying as much and making enemies in the process. This is a very sensitive and perilous mission where individuals will be working in close confines with one another with no contact to the outside world. I know what you are thinking: when this crew was being assembled it's a good thing somebody thought to include the borderline sociopath. I'll die and you won't care.

Here is the escape ship. It is self-contained but attached to the mother ship so there is easy entrance and exit. When it comes time to deploy don't bother walking on board, though. Just follow it in your personal jettison pod and make your way over when you can. See ya later!

Safety protocols are unusual in 2093. In the original Alien if potentially infected crewmembers are outside the ship you lock them out. Seems that's not nearly as effective as opening the loading dock and chasing everyone with a flamethrower. Yes, a flamethrower. Guns are efficient but roasting people alive is so much more dramatic. In 2093 we don't care about the risks of having burning crew members running around our cargo bay.

Strangely, the world of 2093 is far more technologically advanced than the one in the original Alien which takes place even further in the future. I can only assume that the engineers of the far future suffered a similar fate as the biologists.

The only good line in the movie comes when Meredith Vickers says that her father spent $1 trillion dollars in financing the expedition. Golly, $1 trillion dollars? It is a figure so perfectly round in number and sufficiently inflated as to succinctly summarize the imagination involved in this script.

When this movie inevitably gets re-released 20 years from now it will only be fitting if it plays alongside Plan 9 From Outer Space.
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1/10
Muddled, boring and lacking tension. (possible spoilers)
kevinhayward1 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I saw this at a midnight preview and I was really looking forward to it. I'm a big fan of Alien, but I was really disappointed; this is a bloated mess.

In Alien, the creature presented an abstract threat to earth but the plot centered on the immediate, physical threat to the crew. In Prometheus, the threat is purely abstract and while SOME bad stuff happens to the characters, they are all unsympathetic so it is difficult to care. Characters are established with simplistic dialog; this is the cool black guy, this is the incautious explorer, this is the obnoxious mercenary cyberpunk (who, for no reason, is also a scientist), this is the uptight corporate type.

The scientists don't behave like scientists, they don't talk like scientists. The nerdy biologist (who has to walk off to be monster fodder later), walks away from an alien corpse because it's not his field of interest. Huh? Archeologists suddenly turn into medical experts and people exploring an alien ecosystem for the first time remove helmets without regard for contamination of the environment or themselves. Often, the only justification for character actions seems to be to set up later plot points.

Alien worked because it focused on believable characters stuck in a terrible situation, without that believability the film would be greatly lessened. Prometheus, lacking that, is uninteresting.

Prometheus puts me in mind of Avatar. The use of 3D is excellent and the art direction is amazing. However, as with Avatar, technical excellence cannot make up for a terrible plot, sub-standard characterisation and meaningless dialogue.
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5/10
Sigh Warning: Spoilers
Oh the hype. I cannot recall anticipating a movie so much. Matrix Reloaded may have come close, and the feeling of disappointment is all too familiar.

This is the first time I have been compelled to write a review on this site, mainly because most of my friends haven't seen it yet and I just have to vent my feelings somewhere. But before I begin that cathartic release let me say that this is no way a bad movie. I never once had the urge to walk out and I expect I will watch it again some months down the line. I don't feel the anger I experienced after Matrix 2 or Indy 4 but I certainly don't have the buzz of having just watched a truly great movie.

Lets start with the storyline. I think anyone going to watch this is fully aware by now that this is q prequel to Alien, and trust me, you'll have been slapped so hard in the face with this fact by the end of the film that your cheeks will be stinging. Time spent on plot background is over in a matter of seconds. If you've seen the trailers then you've pretty much seen the reason they're off to another planet. From there the storyline follows the usual tried and tested Alien(s) method, i.e. They find stuff, it ain't good and people start dying. What's wrong with that? You cry. Nothing is wrong with that but from then on in in you can't help yourself comparing it to the other two films. And that's where the wheels start falling off.

The first two Alien movies were filled with strong characters who acted and behaved as you felt they should when their friends and colleagues start dying around them. In Prometheus however they may well have all been androids as Rapace apart, they were all taking death and destruction remarkably in their stride. Even one of the best scenes in the whole movie (Rapace's DIY Cesarean) is just glossed over like it didn't happen when . She escapes quarantine, removes a baby squid from her stomach and then runs into the others covered in blood only to be mocked for lacking scientific fibre. Theron may just have well not been there for all she adds and will someone please tell me why they felt it necessary to employ Guy Pearce to play an old man? Here's an idea, just hire an old man to do it instead!

Even the characters taken as a whole are a rather strange bunch. In Alien they were a mining vessel (believable). In Aliens they took some hard asses because they were expecting trouble (believable). However on this occasion a billionaire thinks he'll take himself half way across the universe fully expecting to meet another civilisation who may or may not be hostile and who does he take with him? A couple of scientists, his daughter and a bunch of misfits. Oh but its OK, they have flamethrowers and a few pistols.

Moving on to the bad guys and here we have something which I thought was rather good, as an idea. The concept of humans having evolved from an alien race is a good one, and one of the more believable parts of the film. It was a good idea tackled well. Now if we'd just stayed with that idea and made a film about it I may have been a much happier man. However Scott had decided from the outset that this would be an alien prequel and we were subjected to this absurd notion that they were sinply created by a squid impregnating a super human. Bingo! Quite why this hadn't already happened on the planet before is a mystery, as is why the Alien's don't come out looking more human every time one pops out of our stomachs. And so to the final scene which I suspect Scott saw in a ream one night and built an entire film around it. I can only compare it to Darth Vader's unavailing in Star Wars 3. Laughable.

As a rule I don't like prequels and sequels. They all too often lead to feelings of anger and dismay. But I thought if anyone is going to do it right it would be Ridley Scott. Alien was his baby and there's no way he'd make a mess of it. Well now I feel its time for a public appeal. Will somebody please make a decent ORIGINAL sci-fi movie. PLEASE!
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4/10
It's like they deliberately screwed up the science
Norman Cook17 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I can forgive the unanswered questions about the motives and biology of the aliens in Prometheus. After all, they're aliens! What I can't forgive is the awful, awful protocols shown by the human scientists, technicians, and spaceship crew throughout the movie.

To begin with, a legitimate scientific expedition would have started by releasing weather and observation satellites to orbit the planetoid for weeks, perhaps months before Prometheus ever landed. This would determine the most likely places to hunt for aliens, rather than just luckily finding alien structures. Then, the small, remote-controlled probes would be sent into the alien installations to map them thoroughly and take air and soil samples. When pictures of the dead aliens came back, the scientist would spend many hours determining likely scenarios and procedures to avoid a similar fate before setting a foot inside.

The biggest mistake the movie makes, though, is something I haven't seen discussed anywhere. People have written about the folly of the crew taking off their space suit helmets without checking for microbes or other contaminants. It's not just the air quality that could cause illness or injury. What hasn't been mentioned is the danger of the humans contaminating the alien environment. Good scientists are concerned to the point of paranoia about destroying a pristine environment and invalidating their results. This is why Mars rovers are sterilized before they leave Earth. Once an alien planet is contaminated, there's no way to know what's alien and what's not. The crew of Prometheus would have to undergo rigorous decontamination procedures both when exiting the ship and on their return.

Another question that I haven't seen discussed elsewhere is why would an expedition as well-financed and equipped as Prometheus not have more than one robot? Weyland would want to have as much redundancy as possible to maximize success. Moreover, the humans would need to be cross trained, just as astronauts are now, so that in case of injury or illness there would be someone to fill in the gaps. This goes for the scientists, flight crew, security, and every other function.

Wouldn't Prometheus be crewed with the absolute best people in every role? People who knew what the mission was and who had trained together for months before leaving Earth. There is no excuse for second-best in a first-contact mission that's exploring a dangerous alien world.

It's one thing to have a haunted-house movie filled with naïve teenagers, but it's quite another to see supposed top scientists do dumb things. With a little more thought, Prometheus could have addressed the plot holes I and others have noted, and as a result been a tighter film with more tension and surprises.
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1/10
Is CGI THE everything for these days??
mondolnz6 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
There is no doubt that movie is visually stunning. But then again, this has become a norm for this days for the CGI to be as good as this.

According to the movie, we genetically descend from an angry 8ft strain of a blue man group member who wants to wipe us out for no discernible reason. Depending on how you interpret the opening sequence it's possible that a rogue jockey created us by sacrificing himself to do so but you never really get to the the bottom of that.

Once the other character came out of hyper sleep the movie steadily went down hill. The dialog between the actors mostly seemed unrealistic and forced with most of the characters being a complete waste of casting as they were irrelevant throughout the movie and had zero depth.

What really made me wince were the strange decision some of them made and the movies lack of explanation as to why they did the things they did. An example of this was when Milburn and Fifield get lost in the alien temple after becoming scared when seeing a decapitated Space Jockey and decide to go back to the ship. There is no explanation as to why they become lost and a complete lack of interest from the rest of the crew as to we're they are and their safety. Despite Captain Janek stating to them via radio that Alien life has been detected, he just tells them to go to sleep, very odd!

Android David finds a vase of goo in the pyramid/mountain place. He touches it to his finger. He deliberately puts his finger into Holloway's champagne, infecting him as he ingests. Holloway gets sick. Before the symptoms become obvious he mates with his infertile lover Elizabeth. She becomes pregnant and quickly goes into labor. But she performs an abortion with the ship's robotic surgeon of some kind. And the operation performed on her body involves slicing directly through the skin and muscle-tissue of her Abdomen. After the procedure, she's simply "stitched together" by metal clips in like 3 seconds - and with a bit of anesthetic, she continues to move and jump about with some moaning. Ehm, this was ridiculous to show that anyone could do any kind of normal movement with their muscle tissue completely severed - and there was absolutely no healing involved. And not to mention this things that comes out of her belly she just leaves it there in the operation room. Some time later the angry Creator is attacked by the full grown hell baby and is consumed by it, to a degree, for unknown reasons. That dead Creator then births a primitive Xenomorph

Among these people with zero personality - we have some willing to gleefully commit suicide by ramming an alien ship, because they like their captain, and they're required to do so because he "can't fly worth a damn" - despite him being the primary pilot hired by a billionaire to do nothing but fly the ship.

Then we have a religious scientist who concludes that she's found our creators, based on: "It's what I choose to believe". Then we have the very same religious scientist look at an alien "head" they brought back - and she notices some "strange growth" on said head. She then spends 2 seconds thinking and concludes that this is obviously some kind of "foreign cell stuff" (impressive deduction, I must say) - and she decides (for kicks) to stimulate the cells with some kind of energy - just to see what happens. No research - no caution - no nothing.

I am a religious person myself but religious references were so unnecessary that it was so laughable when every time they showed that cross-shaped necklace.

Then we have the boyfriend of said religious scientist who decides that the air in a completely alien environment is breathable because his device tells him it is - and he immediately removes his helmet. A classic Hollywood scientist moment.

This movie is FULL of this kind of utterly implausible behavior and random decisions.

The convoluted nature of the evolution processes and the ridiculous speed at which that all happens. From worm to white cobra- hugger in no time at all, not to mention the rapid growth of the squiddy giant face hugger which did it without any intake of food. Everything grew fast to suit the rushed nature of the film

We have an android, well-acted by Fassbender, who seems to be completely random in his decisions and motivations. I simply didn't get what he was about or why he did what he did. It made no sense in any context - not to me anyway.

The music was overwrought and didn't fit with the mood of the film, and it seemed like one theme being repeated endlessly. A surprise, given Scott's usual flair for good music.

There was no explanation as to the motives of the Space Jockey race and their reasons to wanting to destroy Earth leaving the movie open to a sequel.

Pardon me, but that is a load of garbage. I honestly cannot believe something that ludicrous made its way into, what is essentially, an Alien movie. I keep wondering that did Ridley Scott not even watch his own movie for pointers?

I have no idea how some people here reviewing this are even suggesting to get the Oscars out. I bet these are the same people who rated the Transformers 2 & 3 highly and all they care about is CGI but nothing to do with Plot or Character Development. Speaking of character development, I actually wanted Shaw to die in the end since I couldn't care less about her!! And she is supposedly the lead character.

This movie is an insult to human intelligence and a waste of time and space. Stay away from this. PLEASE!!
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Not what I was hoping for
wordclock17 June 2012
It's good to see that Ridley Scott still has the same vision for stylistic sets and atmospheric lighting.Lots of dripping water and eery shadows as one might expect from the old master. The special effects are impressive, the CGI is great, the technology is plausible for the turn of the next century. But - and I'm afraid it's a big but - the plot is disjointed, the characters two dimensional and the script is, well, not the best. Far too many things happen which simply make no sense at all, or just don't tally with "what we know already" about the Alien universe. Far too many plot mechanisms, bits of tech and even shots and scenes are borrowed from other films - Serenity, independence day, The Mummy, Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull, Pitch Black, X- Files. I won't go into detail because I can't do that without using spoilers, but try it yourself. Watch the film and see how many ripped off bits you can spot. Spectacular, yes. A great film? No. sadly not.
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4/10
Sci Why?
robin-hectors30 May 2012
Warning: Spoilers
OK this is a lame title for a review, but prometheus kind of deserves a lame intro.

The move opens up very promising, with epic landscapes and a beautifully done intro and epilogue. Then there's a scene where we see David doing his every day chores and keeping himself busy while the rest of the crew is still in cryo-sleep. This scene is utterly genius and should'v really set the tone for the rest of the movie, but all what comes after is really disappointing.

the films builds up quite nice, but until half of the movie it slips away in to unnecessary dialogs. probably to cover up the major plot holes. I was sitting in the theater just asking myself: why are they doing that? Why is this character stereotype in the movie? How did they find this place so fast? Why in the hell do they have a switchboard that turns on holograms about what happened last time and who put them there? What is up with the zombie??? and so on.

If all these questions were compensated with raw action, or tongue in cheek humor, i could have just waved it away; But the film propagates itself as an intellectual, epic adventure about the beginning of mankind.

For a guy who made brilliant films such as Alien, Bladerunner, Gladiator etc. You have to wonder, why is he satisfied with a lame sci fi movie that any other director could have made...

and i hear he's planning a sequel to blade runner... Please, will somebody tell him he has to stop before he destroys his name as a brilliant director...
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1/10
Written by a 5 year old?
J Z4 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
What a disappointment. Two hours of movie time passed like 10. The script is terrible. It's kind of like when a 5 year old tries to tell a story. "And then the science lady goes to a different planet and she finds an alien head but it's not really an alien head and she puts it in a bag and then she takes it back to the spaceship and the lady and another science lady bring it back to life and the robot guy gets some alien blood and gives it to the science lady's boyfriend and then they go to sleep together and the next day she has a baby inside of her so she goes into the surgery machine and has the baby taken out but it's not really a baby it's an alien and then she goes to save her friends but then she goes back and finds out that the baby alien didn't die and kills the bald man" And on and on. Zero suspense. A Golden Razzies level performance by Charlize Theron. Save your $$ on this one. It's a stinker.
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1/10
In space no-one can hear you yaaawn
masterofpuppets794 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Saw this at the Imax last night, I'm a huge fan of the alien films, I love how each film is unique in their visual tone and style, and was very much looking forward to Ridley Scott's Prometheus. The film may or may not be directly linked to the original Alien film, however upon viewing, you will realise that Prometheus is very much a prequel of sorts.

And an extremely bad and disappointing one at that.

The film lacked any suspense, drive, atmospehere, strong characterisation, or coherent plot. There was no atmospheric scene-setting, you just get launched head-first into a lot of inane dialogue, I actually just wanted the characters to shut up as there was no value being added to further the story. The characters themselves were a laughable joke. And many many many of the incidents that happen had me scratching my head - how can someone who removes an alien from their womb by cutting into their skin and muscle recover so quickly and is able to run around, and absolutely NO-ONE ask why she has staples on her stomach and is blood soaked? Why would a ship's captain who just want to fly the ship and go home suddenly go on a suicide run taking the crew with him, just based on quick information relayed to him by a complete stranger? Why does one need to blow into a flute in order to ignite the engines of a starship? If the mission was to contact a possible alien life form, why only send a handful of geologists, who by the way do not look at a single rock at any time in the movie? How does the android David know how to fly the alien spacecraft, speak the alien language, and know what the black goo will create? There are many many more questions that can be found in countless other reviews on IMDb! I was waiting and waiting for the main plot to kick in, but none came. The visuals and 3D were impressive, but that's not the main focus of what a movie should be! All other Alien films functioned perfectly in 2D with minimalistic special effects.

Verdict: Prometheus is yet another example of modern filmmaking - trade on an in-built audience to ensure big money, sacrifice story and characterisation for flashy visuals.
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1/10
Love Alien? Don't watch this film
jizzman9911 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I just saw this film last night and the travesty is still fresh in my mind. First up, every negative review on IMDb is 100% accurate. I wont therefore reiterate what has already been said, and said well, by many distressed fans of the original Alien film.

I didn't read anything about the movie before going in. I didn't even know it was a prequel to the Alien film. I thought I'd surprise myself for a change. I found myself laughing at a movie that had less scientific integrity than Star Trek and soon realised the target audience age was probably somewhere between 12-20. All the way through I kept thinking what a shameless rehashing of Alien film concepts this was and that Ridley Scott must be hard up for some cash. Worse was that some primary elements of the story reminded me of other films (i.e Stanley Kubrick's 2001). Then, it happened. Towards the end of the film it became obvious with out any doubt that it was a prequel to Alien. My laughter turned to crying and I realised something cherished in my life had just been taken away from me.

This is a story that should never have been told. The origins of the derelict ship, the 'Space Jockey' (or Engineer as it's now known), and more importantly the Alien creature, was part of the mystery of Alien and gave the film its soul. I watch Alien at least once a year and enjoy not knowing - it's a critical ingredient to the story. Our imagination is left to run wild at the possibilities.

The last time I had a gut reaction like this was when Star Wars episode I revealed what the 'Force' was. Great. I really needed to know that. And I'm sure many of us of a certain vintage remember the horror of Highlander II unfolding and the attempt at a back-story that couldn't possibly work no matter how hard we all tried (and I was about 15 then). And these films are hardly in the same genre. What conceited, arrogant writer thinks they can possibly pull of such a task?

And that's another good point I haven't seen mentioned yet: the back-story doesn't work. Take a look at the Space Jockey in Alien and you'll see it is much larger and doesn't look at all human (go and google it). Its sternum connects to its forehead! And would the Alien creature/'Space Jockey' back-story, if it had to be told, likely to have involved humans? I don't think so.

They had no right to make this movie. They had no right to tread on what is sacred ground for those of us that admire Alien.

I'm very surprised at Ridley Scott. I can only assume he needed to see another zero at the end of his bank account. what else could have possibly motivated him to urinate on his own masterpiece?
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10/10
Perfect Movie - Bad Reviews Are Result of Flawed Expectations
shaunmichaelgreene10 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I found this movie to be completely perfect. The acting was top notch, the visuals and effects were stunning, the plot was smartly developed and kept the tension at an all time high, and even the score was brilliant.

Of course, I had done my homework on the movie leading up to it. I had read several times that this movie was not intended to be a direct prequel to Alien, although would take place in the same universe. Ridley Scott had already come forward and said that traditional xenomorph would not be a part of this film, but that one would begin to notice the "DNA" so to speak. I've seen a lot of discussion from upset fans regarding the absence of the xenomorph and the loose connection to the alien franchise.

The entire movie is about origins (hence not showing facehuggers, classic xenomorphs, etc), and does a great job exploring the concept. It asks the questions that people don't like to hear, and leaves the most jarring and ambiguous unanswered. It was also set up wonderfully for a sequel, which I highly anticipate.

If you wanted to see a movie with the same old aliens, action, and every question getting answered and every loose end tied up - go see an action movie. Or better yet, stay home and re-watch Aliens! Scott did a wonderful job with this movie. He gave the fans what they wanted to see without rolling over and catering to their every demand. He kept Prometheus' integrity and allowed it to stand on its own 2 feet alone, while at the same time expanding the alien universe. I can't think of any changes that could make the movie better (while still keeping in mind that this is a Hollywood production and a business - they have to protect their best interests and maximize profit and thus make a sequel). 10/10 stars, perfect.
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1/10
Bad film
pesic-13 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
The irony is that while 'Alien' was a film with a modest budget that desperately tried to use the available resources to pull off the look of an A-film, 'Prometheus' is a film with a monstrous budget that doesn't even seem to aspire to rise above the B-movie level - with the exception of special effects.

Alas, 3-D glasses can never compensate for one-dimensional characters, and an experienced director cannot fix a poorly written script that makes every screen writing error imaginable.

I guess what it comes down to is that god is a bald bodybuilder who never says anything but instead punches everyone he meets straight in the face. Don't mess with him!

By the way, the aliens in this film verge on silly. You don't want that in a horror film, much less in a film that wants to explain human origins. Can anyone explain the stupidity of the characters?
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1/10
Oh (literally) God.
ekveland6 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Ah, the dumb blonde of movies. So so pretty, but so so stupid. Stop thinking about the intellectually insulting plot, the lackluster "scares" and just enjoy the scenery. It's only for one night, and you can dump her tomorrow. After all she is so so pretty.

But let's face it, if you just want to look at pretty things while your brain takes a vacation, there's Avatar. If you want to be insulted by this assault at common sense, hate the protagonist and roll your eyes at hackneyed dialog and telegraphed plot point with subtext as subtle as a sledgehammer to the vagina. Well, then there's Prometheus.

I'd kid about how Alien Resurrection was scarier, but frankly so was that episode of Muppet Show with Vincent Price. It's just the god-awful Erich von Dänicken meets creationist theory plot that sucks the soul out of this impossibly beautiful looking sci-fi. Well, anyway eff the SCI! Hey dumb darwinist quipper, guess who's going to die first. Spoiler: It's you! Creationism is true, let's meet our engineers. Spoiler: THEY HATE US!

I honestly can't think who this film was set out to p!ss off more, atheists or creationists? Is Ridley Scott just trolling us all? Is it another elaborate Scientology ad? Because it sure as hell reminds me of Battlefield Earth. (But so so pretty).

Anyway, please avoid this film unless you are really just waiting to see what tenuous connection it has to a pretty darn good eighties space-horror which spawned at least one good sequel and OH LOOK OVER THERE, there's the Star Wars prequels!

So yeah, what the hell Ridley Scott? The 1984 Apple commercial had a better plot than this. So much wasted talent, so many wasted pixels, so many (well a few) good actors delivering lines like: "FATHER!" while we involuntarily roll our eyes back into our skulls for the seventh time. And so many characters wasted for this review, I am a twitter person dammit! (Spoiler: Jesus is a Xenomorph).

  • Erik
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1/10
The mistaking of technicality for creativity by the modern-age moviegoer and its disastrous consequences. *SPOILERS*
Elder Yautija3 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
*WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS!*

Someone in the message boards said, in defense of Prometheus (which was being bashed by a poster): "Thank God art is subjective!"

Well, you said it: ART is subjective, so this commercial, intentionally crowd-pleasing sh#t doesn't qualify.

At the premiere in Amsterdam there wasn't a single clap after this turd was over, only laughter and "MEH"'s said out loud. You want to hear a fact? This is pure vomit in film form. THAT is a fact.

I can't even begin to imagine what sort of mushroom-fueled hallucinogenic trip one must be on to call this "art". Why, cause it's computer generated images? So what? Only cause "Avatar" managed to be visually arresting doesn't make any 3D/CGI-fueled piece of cr#p an artistic accomplishment. "Hercules in New York" could be remade tomorrow, in 3D with CGI special effects, and it would still be a turd. Why the comparison? Simple. Here's a list of things that these two movies share:

1) A childish story, with as much depth as my bathtub but painted black so it looks deeper and darker, but then eventually unfolds like it could have been written by the 13-year-old mongoloid cousin of my neighbor. This movie can be watched only with the law of probability firmly stamped in your forehead.

2) Religious references that are so needed in the plot as a growth under my armpit. That Christian faith reference was so laughable and unnecessary that every time they showed that cross-shaped necklace I had cramps in my belly. I thought I was gonna throw up.

3) Characters which aren't characters, they're merely guest appearances. Faces that are there, but could easily not be there and you wouldn't miss, or, even worse, faces that make you happier once you know they're gone. Remember the one with the punk haircut? Remember the Asian dude? And the guy with the beard? Wait a second... what guy with the beard???

4) Acting from the school of Howard The Duck in almost every scene, even from those actors you would never expect it from. "Will that be all?" - "Yes... FATHER!" - Shoot me in the face, please.

5) Dialogues that seem like they've been written by a 10-year-old with Alzheimer after he's had a "Growing Pains" 48-hour marathon... (Read the above point for a reference, then watch the movie for a real good laugh)

6) The shameless use of every cliché one can possibly come up with. A sterile woman (whom we find out is sterile in a scene that's meant for tears but finally works for laughs) eventually gets pregnant; the old, powerful guy behind it all, who's supposedly dead but then it turns out he's not; the cold, heartless robot who places science above human life in his priorities list; the hidden (yet obvious and totally expected) family relation between characters... the list can go on forever.

7) The most important for me: INVOLUNTARY COMEDY... that was painful. I actually felt embarrassed to be in that theater, at moments. Like the scene where Shaw gets a computerized-midwife for a quick abortion. I won't give anything out, but I promise: you're up for laughs! The whole theater laughed their butts off in that scene, so don't forget your pop- corn! Oh, wait... what do you mean it wasn't meant for laughs???

The list could go on, but I haven't got all day.

If one can overlook these details, Prometheus could be seen as a case of "nice-try-sucker" film-making from a once brilliant director. But that's not the truth. The truth is: this is A BAD MOVIE, and if you don't see it through the smokescreen, then your brain must be dead. Or at least in a coma.

So what's the big deal about this two hour long raping of my sight, so that it gets 8.3 on IMDb? I guess people want to force themselves to like it, cause it's Scott, cause it's related to Alien, cause the expectations were high and everyone hates having to admit that they've been let down and that they wasted their money. I would hate to have to admit it. But I had no expectations and went in for free, so I don't have to.

My friends, who I went with to watch Prometheus said to me, after the mess was over: "I wanted to like it, I really wanted to!". But they just couldn't. How can you possibly be a movie lover, know Scott's classics, NOT be brainwashed and still like this stain of puke?

I hated every minute of it (except for the opening sequence, hence the 2 star rating), and so did the other 600 people in the theater. Think about it and be honest to yourself. Just cause trailers, teasers, movie connections, big names and companies make you think you have to like it, you don't really have to, do you?
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1/10
Trash of the Titan
jacklmauro27 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
For over 30 years, I've believed that no worse movie could be made than 'Can't Stop the Music'. I was wrong. And it breaks my 'Alien'-loving heart. WHO WROTE THIS GARBAGE, and what were they smoking? Listen up: I'm perfectly ready to suspend disbelief, esp. when it comes to sci-fi. I was also not wanting or expecting another 'Alien', as superb as it was. But this thing is, to quote Dorothy Parker, not just bad. This is fancy. A huge, huge problem is borrowing 'Alien' motifs when they do not at all apply. For instance, the crew of motley, disgruntled folks of Prometheus. Such a crew was perfect for a mining ship coming back from a dull and long job; when it's mankind's first, trillion-dollar search for life in the universe, a team seemingly pulled out of a Hooter's Happy Hour seems inappropriate. Similarly, we get the 'Alien' captain, here bad-ass but still just out to earn a paycheck. On THIS mission? It's as though Scott so valued these elements, he had to re-use them even when they utterly do not belong. Then. There's the helmets-off idiocy on the alien moon, prompted by a computer reading that the air is OK, nicely ignoring that maybe scientists would nonetheless by wary in so unknown an environment/atmosphere. There's the wretched cliché of the ancient trillionaire. There's about an hour of exposition featuring the evil gay robot who, after plainly sabotaging the womb of Dr. Shaw, is buddied up to by her not long after. Best of all are the oddly redneck two scientists, stranded, and a coaxing of an alien cobra-like creature as though it were a kitten. This is so ghastly, I felt sorry for the actor, as I did for the geologist, setting foot on a new moon and angry that he's expected to take any interest in the proceedings. This goes to an even larger flaw, in that, aside from a few, requisite gasps, everyone is reacting to this extraordinary find as though they stumbled into a funky part of town. To that end, and more horrifying than the scientist-kitten, is Holloway's pouty, drunken angst because, gee, there weren't no daddy aliens to explain why man exists. He has found an incredible alien civilization and proof of humanoid life but, like a true scientist, he can't get past not getting his boyish dream fulfilled. Also; he awakes to discover a creeping worm in his freaking eye, tells no one, and simply goes off on the day's mission? Who wrote this garbage? Last issue: there is NO momentum. There is no tension or suspense. There isn't even a second- rate 'Alien' prequel, because this thing would have to work real hard to be second-rate.
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6/10
There was a Spark, but no fuel
nflovesgday15 January 2014
Warning: Spoilers
OK here is the thing, i personally liked the movie just because it was decently thought provoking. that being said i honestly think the concept as a whole had amazing potential, this movie could have been very good. if someone told me: " its in the future, when a group of scientists travel to a distant planet in hopes to find the origin of the human race." i would honestly be pretty intrigued. but somehow the movie is demoted for a lot of things, : its very ambiguous, which isn't always a bad thing, but in this movie they leave out a lot of ( in my opinion ) very important story building parts.

this isn't even my main concern, my main concern is the ending/transition to the second movie. SPOILER ALERT! for example the end scene when they actually meet the engineers, they make him seem like a crazy psychopath who kills everyone with out any motive. and if you've seen one of the deleted scenes which is very crucial in understanding the engineers motives, we will all kind of assume that his reaction is prompted by the completely stupid question weyland asks him, which is pretty much how can i live forever?

all in all i still think this movie is enjoyable but still could have gone a lot farther, like light years away. worth watching? i would say yes for two reasons, 1: because if they make an amazing second movie which i hope they do, then you would want to watch this one as a preface and just for the information leading up to it. And 2: just because Michael Fassbender is such a boss who in my opinion lifted the whole movie up past the point of sucking.
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7/10
It's official....scientists of the future are stupid!
Rob_Taylor4 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I had high hopes for this movie. Ridley Scott, Alien, yada yada. It all seemed so promising. Perhaps the highlight of the scifi movie calender this year.

Oh well, more hopes dashed.

First, the good things. The cinematography, acting, special effects and everything to do with the film-making process are all better than average or excellent.

The writing, however, is entirely another matter. Those who have read even a few of my reviews know I hate one thing above all else. Insulting the intelligence of the audience.

Prometheus, sadly, does this again and again.

Having been sent off into space on an expedition (which most of the crew and scientists don't even know the purpose of - how did they sell that to them? Sign on for this expedition without knowing what you're getting into!) our heroes are briefed on arrival in a scene that was almost a copy of the marines briefing from Aliens, right down to the barracking and disbelief of the listeners.

I don't know about you, but being told I might find the creators of our own species would get me excited, not lead to pour scorn on the speaker. But anyway, our scientist heroes duly land on the planet and find an alien structure. On going in and finding the air breathable, the first thing a supposed intelligent scientist does (on an alien world, remember.) is take their helmet off. FAIL!

After having mapped the majority of the structure remotely, two scientists then get lost on their way back to the ship and never once think to ask for directions, or call out for assistance, even though their comms devices are working just fine. EPIC FAIL!

Later on these two discover a small alien creature. Their first reaction. To go up and prod at it with their hands. DARWIN AWARD FAIL!

You see where I'm going with this? All of the above takes place within forty minutes or so. And it doesn't get much better for the rest of the film.

Remember, these aren't clueless freighter jocks as in Alien. They aren't dumb grunts as in Aliens. They aren't dumb-enough-to-get-caught criminals as in Alien 3 and they aren't gung-ho pseudo-mercs as in Alien Resurrection. They are supposed to be intelligent scientists.

I'm not saying the writing is bad. I'm saying it is pitiful! It's like when you watch a horror movie of the slasher variety. You know the characters are going to do dumb-ass stuff like this. But you don't expect it in a scifi movie to this extent. Especially not one helmed by Ridley Scott.

It's a shame, because everything else about the film is beautifully done. But the writing is inept and insulting, forcing characters to do ridiculous actions for the sake of the plot. Here's an idea Damon Lindelof.... how about you write the plot around the actions of the characters, and not the other way around! Thanks for taking a somewhat off-the-wall franchise and tarring it mercilessly with the Hollywood action-blockbuster brush of sloppiness! As far as the franchise goes, I'd actually rate this below both Alien 3 AND AVP, though not below AVP2, which remains the shitty mud at the bottom of the celluloid rain-barrel.

In short then, a wasted opportunity ruined by abysmal writing and characterization. Watch it for the pretties and try REALLY hard not to think about it too much.
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1/10
Ridley Scott must have directed the entire movie drunk
Deny Watanabe24 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I'm a huge sci-fi fan and also an admirer of Scott's work, but I'm probably not going to watch a movie solely because it was directed by him anymore. This was probably one of the worst movies I've seen in the past few years, including a few that were made for TV.

The screenplay seems to have been written by a 13 year old school kid. The plot has so many holes it's ridiculous, I was annoyed and deviated from the movie to the plot holes less than 10 minutes into the watching it, which is saying something. Here are some of the highlights that weren't mentioned in the reviews I've read:

1. It's a trillion dollar mission and basically no one in the crew knows what the hell they're doing there until after they reach their destination.

2. As soon as the crew gets out of their suspended animation chambers, one of the members starts showing an attitude towards mission command during their first briefing. Not in a million years would anyone with a dysfunctional personality be allowed in the most trivial space mission, let alone an important one.

3. It's important to decontaminate a specimens collected from the surface of the planet while in the lab, but the "scientists" don't wear their helmets while collecting it making the decontamination in the lab completely useless.

4. The reasons / motivations for basically anything in the movie are not plausible or believable leading to deep annoyance and boredom during the torture that is watching this movie.

5. The characters have either idiotic or psychotic personalities, some times both. Even in real life astronauts are usually extremely intelligent and able to cope with and keep their cool under stressful situations.

6. The plot development is painfully slow and a lot of the time doesn't make enough sense to be sufficiently believable that the spectator can get into it and forget about the plot holes.

My advice is, honestly, stay away from this movie at all cost. I know a lot of people won't be able to, and out of curiosity will watch this monstrosity anyway. But remember: you have been warned.
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