Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013) Poster

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8/10
A ton of stupid fun
falynsoul5 February 2013
I seriously enjoyed this film-- it had more gore than Mel Gibson could shake a fist at, some very cute actors, and didn't waste time with excessive back-story and details, and gave me many good laughs.

Its not an intellectually stimulating movie... duh. Its made to a hilariously entertaining popcorn flick with over-the-top action and unrealistic weapons that wouldn't have existed given the 'time period' this movie seems to be set in. So you folks out there giving it bad rap for not meeting your standards, calm down. Its clearly not trying to. :).

This movie's violence reminded me of the Expendables-- but this film never takes itself too seriously like the other film does... I found this much more fun to watch.
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7/10
Everyone Calm Down!!
KeyzFilmz25 January 2013
In my opinion this is the type of movie to see if: 1)You love and support Jeremy Renner 2)You're in a mood to see cool but not overly flashy effects 3)Love for dark fairy tales 4)Awesome make up and costumes (the witches were very VERY well put together) 5)Just an all around chill movie with gore violence and cool effects

Don't see it if: 1)you expect high quality acting 2)Over the top graphics and effects 3)Complex plot line 4)Extremely witty script

Because Jeremy Renner was in big time movies, people are over analyzing this one. It's suppose to be fun with a hint of dark, and entertaining. I was very entertained. I also loved how it was only 88 minutes versus the 2-3 hour movies that have been coming out. I appreciated the toughness of Gemma in the film and Famke as head witch was genius. Overall it served it's purpose.
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7/10
The movie knows it's stupid and has fun with it
sildarmillion27 January 2013
This is not a quality film and I don't think they even meant it to be good or memorable. If you watched the trailers and *didn't* expect it to be terrible, I'd be very, very surprised. I would never have paid to see this. I only saw it because I got passes to a free advance screening. And it was just as ridiculous as I expected - and I was pretty entertained. We were laughing pretty hard the whole time.

The movie wasn't trying to have a good plot or a surprise twist. Clocking in at a little over an hour, it could have been season finale of a B-grade TV series of the same premise. I think movie was just trying to be funny, and I think their jokes worked. Like how Hansel has a "medical condition" (not spoiling it here). It doesn't work in a physiological sense - but who cares? It was really funny that they even made that connection!

There was an incredible amount of gore in this movie; but I suppose that itself was a joke, given the premise of the movie. Their other jokes relied on anachronisms (weapons, fanboys, crime investigations). But they were careful enough that the anachronisms were funny in the context of the world-building instead of being glaring anomalies.

There might be some people complaining about what an inadequate film this was with respect to plot, but that would be missing the point. Don't watch this expecting to take away anything - it's really only just for the lawls.
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9/10
Bloody, dark, tongue in cheek fun!
wlk6826 January 2013
Warning: Spoilers
I wasn't expecting anything deep or insightful or thought provoking when I went to see this. I was expecting a fantasy/horror movie with dark humor where I could turn off my brain and just enjoy the ride and that was pretty much what I got. I really enjoyed it. It was fun and funny and it was fairly obvious that their tongues were firmly in their cheeks when they made this. I enjoyed the 'Middle Ages meets Steampunk' aspect and thought it was a nice touch that Hansel actually developed the sugar sickness - a.k.a. diabetes - from being forced to eat all that candy as a kid.

I enjoyed the brother/sister vibe between the two. You don't see a great many brother/sister action duos. At least, none come immediately to mind. It's always buddies/cops or soldiers and if there is a male/female pairing it's usually romantic. To have the protagonists be siblings was a refreshing twist. They both knew the other could take care of themselves but were still protective and concerned for each other.

And as for taking care of themselves, hunting witches was never shown as easy. They each got their asses handed to them on numerous occasions and in the scene where we see Hansel shirtless, his body is covered in scars, both old and new.

The only complaint I have is that it wasn't long enough. It's run time is just short of 90 minutes so they had ample room to expand a few scenes - or even add new ones - to flesh out the character development a little.
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6/10
Leave the kids at home for this one – this revisionist take on the classic fairy tale is an entertaining blend of horror and humour that is as gory as it is vulgar
moviexclusive24 January 2013
What you may or may not remember about the Brothers Grimm' story is over and done with in the first ten minutes of writer-director Tommy Wirkola's revisionist treatment of the classic tale, which basically imagines what happens after the happily ever after. And so Wirkola fast- forwards the story many years later, where he would like us to believe that Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) have found their calling as witch hunters, travelling around from village to village killing the evil ones who kidnap children and rescuing their abductees in the process.

One particular such mission brings them to the town of Augsburg, where a beautiful blonde-haired woman named Mina (Pihla Viitala) is due to be drowned in front of an angry crowd by the shifty Sheriff Berringer (Peter Stormare). The Mayor (Rainer Bock) is not so fast to pronounce judgment on her for the spate of disappearances, and has hired Hansel and Gretel to get to the bottom of it. Seeing no visible signs of sorcery on her, Hansel and Gretel free her, inadvertently setting themselves on a collision course with the Sheriff.

But the bitter Sheriff and his band of hunters are the least of their problems – indeed, their most pressing concern is the Grandmother Witch Muriel (Famke Janssen) and her hench-women, who have been keeping the children they have kidnapped locked up in wait for a much more sinister plot to make them even more powerful. Of course, as narrative dictates, Muriel's plan would have something to do with Hansel and Gretel's own past, as well as their extraordinary ability to be immune from the spells of witches.

Savvy viewers will be able to spot the connection once the clues are laid, so don't expect a revelatory surprise at the end. That doesn't mean however that this reimagination is predictable; instead, Wirkola keeps you riveted with a surprisingly effective blend of horror and hilarity often within the very same scene. Case in point? Just before she forces someone to turn a shotgun on himself and splatter his brains onto the wall, Muriel comments how the room they are in looks somehow drab and could do with some colour.

That same irreverence pervades the entire movie, which shouldn't come as a surprise if you paid attention to the opening credits and spotted Will Ferrell and Adam McKay as producers of the movie. Their brand of rude cheeky humour is very much alive in Wirkola's first English-language feature, who had demonstrated through his debut movie lampooning Quentin Tarantino – Kill Buljo – that he is perfectly in tune with their sensibilities. But Wirkola also brings his eye for gore – seen in his sophomore film 'Dead Snow' – to this movie, so be prepared for exploding flesh, crushed skulls and some particularly nasty decapitations that is good reason why this grown-up version of Hansel and Gretel does not carry a kid-friendly rating.

Amidst the gore and adult humour, Renner and Arterton unfortunately are left with paper-thin characters. While Renner pretty much looks dour throughout the movie, Arterton seems determined to have fun with her ass-kicking female heroine of a role, and her portrayal of Gretel resembles a Lara Croft for the medieval ages. The scene-stealer however is Janssen, the former Bond villain once again relishing the opportunity to play against type as the villain and putting in a deliciously over- the-top performance as Muriel. Other supporting actors don't make much of an impression – including Thomas Mann, a firm Hansel and Gretel devotee who gets some laughs from his fanboy behaviour and eventually sees his wish come true to be a witch hunter like his heroes.

And we suspect, how much you will end up enjoying this new twist to the classic fairy tale will also depend on your expectations. Compared to the recent spate of fairytale-inspired Hollywood movies like 'Red Riding Hood' or 'Snow White and the Huntsman', it veers most far off from its source material to tell an entirely different story. The result of that novelty is something bloody all right, that can also prove to be bloody good fun if you're looking for an adult-oriented blend of action, adventure, fantasy, horror and comedy. It might not sound intuitive, but this fairy tale is best enjoyed without the kids.

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7/10
A Great Entertainment
Claudio Carvalho11 May 2013
The siblings Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) are left alone in the woods by their father and captured by a dark witch in a candy house. However they kill the witch and escape from the spot. Years later, the orphans have become famous witch hunters.

When eleven children go missing in a small village, the Major summons Hansel and Gretel to rescue them, and they save the red haired Mina (Pihla Viitala) from the local sheriff that wants to burn her accusing Mina of witchcraft. Soon they discover that the Blood Moon will approach in three days and the powerful dark witch Muriel (Famke Janssen) is the responsible for the abduction of children. She intends to use the children together with a secret ingredient in a Sabbath to make the coven of witches protected against the fire. Meanwhile Hansel and Gretel disclose secrets about their parents.

"Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters" is a great entertainment for ordinary viewers like me that like the genre of fantasy but based on the Metacritic Rating, it is not recommended to intellectuals. The story is very funny and the special effects and make-up are top notch. Gemma Arterton is one of the sexiest actresses and it is good to see her again. If the viewer likes this genre, he or she will certainly enjoy "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters". I do not understand why people that like art movies spend their time watching this type of movie and writing bad reviews. My vote is seven.

Title (Brazil): "João e Maria: Caçadores de Bruxas" ("John and Mary: Witch Hunters")
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Mindless fun, for better and for worse
Anssi Vartiainen2 May 2013
Lately we have seen a lot of these fairy tale remakes, where they take a basic fairy tale plot, add in a lot of CGI, slightly darker atmosphere and some sex and call it a day. I still prefer the Disney version, thank you very much. At least in those films the story flows smoothly and the characters are not cardboard cutouts. That being said, this particular fairy tale movie was a pleasant surprise. For one, it didn't try to retell the same exact story we have grown up with. Rather it took the story of Hansel and Gretel and asked the question: "What if they grew up?" I'm totally on board with that question. It's something we've never seen before and frankly it's a fascinating idea. So yeah, colour me interested.

The film itself ends up being pretty much what anyone would expect. I hesitate to call it a good film, because it has numerous plot holes, nonsensical twists and its characters are somewhat bland and clichéd. On the other hand, it has a good visual style, its action is very pleasing, if a bit gore-filled (not a bad thing in this case), the two main actors are actually pretty good in their roles, and as a whole it's just plain solid fun. Yeah, it's stupid most of the time, but it's fun kind of stupid. The kind where you're just able to sit back, enjoy the scenery and laugh at the jokes.

It also needs to be remembered that this was Tommy Wirkola's first big budget film. And for a debut film, this shows a lot of promise. The style is definitely there, as is the atmosphere. The story-telling and the character development need some work, but even big name directors struggle with those every now and then. I'm looking forward to what this guy will bring us next.

And that's this film. Yeah, it's one of those so bad it's good films, but I'd still recommend this. The idea alone is worth checking out.
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8/10
Renner and Arterton: Killer Combination!
3xHCCH24 January 2013
I couldn't believe my eyes when I first saw the poster for "Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters" because it actually puts together my two favorite current movie stars, Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton! I liked Gothic interpretations of fairy tales like "Snow White and the Huntsman". And I also liked the "supernaturalization" of historical figures like "Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter" a lot. This film seems to be a cross of those two types, and so is one film I made sure I would watch this once it opened.

Hansel and Gretel starts as we all know them from the fairy tale, children left by their parents in the woods. They were lured by a house made of candy, and was captured by the wicked witch who lived inside. We all know how the tale ends, when Hansel and Gretel push the witch into the oven. But that was just the beginning of the movie, for that was when this brother-sister team launch their career as mercenary witch hunters. When a mysterious series of missing children terrorizes a small town, its mayor hires Hansel and Gretel to look for the witches responsible and kill them.

That was one shallow story line I know, but I really enjoyed myself while watching this movie. Yes, the gore factor was really high, but everything appeared to be done with tongue strictly in cheek. The actors Renner and Arteron are unquestionable bad-ass! They fit the titular roles very well. You will meet a new, more interesting "Edward" here. The CG and production design were quite good and imaginative. It was fun to spot traditional witch lore in the scenes, even as they took liberties to invent their own lore.

As I mentioned, the film does not shy from bloody violence, as the envelope is pushed to graphically show various mechanisms of death, from crushing to exploding - close-up! There was a brief scene of a nude village beauty Mina (Pihla Viitala) as she seduces Hansel. There were even unexpected modern-day swear words during the witch battles. With all of these scenes, I do not really know how it got a PG-13 rating in this country! Anyway, despite and maybe because of all these surprises, I found the whole film a lot of grown-up fun, a very entertaining one and half hours.

After the movie, I found out that the director was Tommy Wirkola, the same guy who directed the Norwegian Nazi zombies in the snow movie "Dead Snow." So that is why his strange Tarantino-esque sense of humor is all over this film. I am a fan! I will be awaiting his next project. However, for all the fun I had watching this film though, I think they should be happy with what they have now. I think a H&G sequel would already be pushing their luck.
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2/10
A truly grim fairy tale ...
gregeichelberger25 January 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Take a ridiculous premise – based loosely on a Grimm fairy tale – so-so special effects and deplorable acting and add non-existent direction, as well as a confusing time-line and substandard 3D effects, and then sprinkle in few unnecessary "F" bombs and what do you get? A profoundly pathetic and pointless effort entitled "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters," a motion picture so bad in its design, development and execution that a Roget's Thesaurus is needed just to accurately describe how horrible and with as much variety as possible the experience of watching it was.

Written with a crayon and directed with a circus mallet by Tony Wirkola ("Dead Snow"), this film tries to be a "Red Riding Hood" meets "Snow White and the Huntsman" meets "The Brothers Grimm" meets the Evil Dead trilogy, but succeeds only in overlapping itself in a most embarrassing bog of amateurish inanity despite a most merciful running time of just 88 minutes (and you thought "The Hobbit" seemed long-winded).

Everyone has obviously read (or has been read) the story of how the wicked stepmother forced the meek father to take young Hansel and Gretel into the woods where they discovered a life-size gingerbread house and the evil witch that lived there. The crone then tried to eat the boy, but the kids outwit her and she ends up baked to a crisp in her own oven.

This film begins with pretty much the same tale, only we're now told (through a series of what looks like medieval newspaper clippings) that the siblings have grown up and have become bounty hunters, taking on – and totally destroying – witch after cackling witch. Now, years later, they show up at a town where 11 children have been suddenly taken away.

A diabetic (yep, all that candy, he has the "sugar disease") Hansel, played by Jeremy Renner ("The Bourne Legacy," "The Avengers") and a wise-cracking Gretel (Gemma Arterton, "Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time"), are hired by the milquetoast mayor (Rainer Bock), but detested by Ausberg's sheriff (Peter Stormare, "The Last Stand" and the only character with any real sense), and manage to save an accused sorceress, Mina (Pihla Viitala, a series of Finnish films and TV series no one has heard of), and do a little detective work - very little.

They soon discover that there is a bad moon rising – actually a "blood moon" – that can make witches inflammable (although since they are dispatched here in other various ways, it's not much of a defense). This event evidently takes place once every few years or so and causes the witches to gather together in what looks like a low-rent Comic-Con.

In the course of their investigations, Hans and sis are also easily able to destroy the ugly supernatural entities with little or no effort, thanks to superior weapons and clever patter that will not exist for at least another 700 years.

Shotguns, automatic pistols, hand grenades, Gattling guns and a crossbow that fires hundreds of arrows per minute - and in all directions - seemingly came from nowhere while characters use words like "hillbilly," "weird," "awesome" and the aforementioned "F" bombs.

The dialogue was obviously stolen from another Middle Age dud from a few years back, "Your Highness," although I NEVER thought I would miss the subtle and nuanced acting abilities of Danny McBride. Compared to this script ("The only good witch is a dead witch"), that movie seems like Shakespeare.

And, if Hansel and Gretel are not bad enough, they are "ably" assisted by Ben (Thomas Mann, who appears as if he failed an audition to be the fifth member of the "Big Bang Theory" gang), as well as a giant troll who looks like a cross between Andre the Giant and Luis Guzman. They seem invincible (despite the inclusion of Thomas Mann). However, the group soon runs into a "super" witch, Muriel (Famke Janssen, "Taken 2"), and the tables are suddenly turned.

Is there really a point in my continuing to describe the plot of this pointless endeavor? Do we care that Hansel's hatred of witches borders on the sociopathic and makes him look like an Old World version of a red-necked Southern bigot during the Civil Rights era? Do we care that Gretel discovers a terrible secret about her own mother as well as herself? Do we care that Hansel isn't a very good swimmer? Do we care about ANY of this ludicrous nonsense? The answer is a resounding and unequivocal "no," my friends.

Had any of the basic elements of filmcraft (acting, direction, story) been even slightly evident here, I could dismiss this movie's faults as just a terribly mediocre January release and been done with it. There are so many glaringly awful things about this motion picture, however, that my obligation as a critic – and a human being - behooves me to warn the paying public to avoid this travesty at all costs.

Then, with an extra $3 to $5 being charged for viewing in 3D, the general public is being taken for a ride in this department, too, considering this technology adds nothing to the experience because mainly the movie is so dark, drab and depressing no one can tell what is going on, anyway.

This is especially proved by the concluding battle, which is a confusing, obscured mish-mosh of people and things being tossed about with little or no audience comprehension or even the slightest concern for anyone or anything by that point.

After a very successful film run, including a pair of Academy Award-nominated performances, it may have been time for Renner to suffer a slight career letdown - it's just a shame all of us had to witness it.
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8/10
A Nutshell Review: Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
DICK STEEL26 January 2013
It's a little strange why this film wasn't given advanced press previews in the US, and for territories like ours there was a review embargo to comply with, signalling the lack of confidence the filmmakers and distributors have on this film update of the Hansel and Gretel storyline. Perhaps they're taking a leaf out of recent updates to fairy tales such as the two Snow White movies, and Red Riding Hood, that they want to be a bit deaf to criticisms, and to allow audiences to judge instead. But Hansel and Gretel as witch hunters followed the mold of Blade, and proved to be quite the mass market entertainer, with no pretences in wanting to be more.

Written and directed by Norwegian Tommy Wirkola, this story had all the right ingredients for the kind of film it wanted to be, taking the familiar folk lore, and putting a creative, not necessarily new, spin on it. We see how the two kids get brought out to the woods, only this time there isn't a trail of crumbs to follow home. The iconic house of bread and sweets, and the wicked witch who wants to fatten Hansel as food later on are all included, as do their defeat of the witch by burning her alive in the stove. This forms the prologue, and the What If scenario that Hansel and Gretel were to build on their initial success, and form a career out of hunting, and destroying witches anywhere, bounty hunter style.

As you would already have seen in the trailer, this is but one of their adventures shown in helping a village deal with the menace of the witch Muriel (Famke Janssen), who together with her posse of like-minded witches have kidnapped children in preparation of a ritual to be performed under the blood moon. And there's no other better for the job than for Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton), engaged by the mayor thanks to the widespread news of their successful witch hunting exploits played over the opening credits. The rest of the story is nothing but set action piece after set action piece, paced frantically without any pause longer than necessary, with a story that ties it all in to their origins, and going full circle.

clocking in at just under 90 minutes, the movie has two surprise acts and characters best kept under wraps, one to reverse the mantra that the witch hunters adopt to their methods, and the other a fine character introduced that shed clues to their origin story. Jeremy Renner continues in his sharing of the limelight in roles he had chosen of late, preferring to be the team player from the Impossible Mission Force to the Avengers, and continues as one half of the brother-sister team. Gemma Arterton is perhaps best known for her role as the Bond girl in Quantum of Solace, with her dramatic roles having never made it here. And having another Bond girl in Famke Janssen in yet another villainous role also helped, although every character in this film is pretty one dimensional.

But this is an action-adventure taking a well known fairy tale and giving it a license to thrill with blood and gore. While most of the effects are CG laden, it doesn't flinch from wanting to showcase burning at the stakes and various forms of dismemberment and beheadings that increases its body count in very gory terms. It's a story about witch hunting in a fantasy setting, and it exploits this setting perfectly. A definite recommend for any action junkie.
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10/10
I loved this movie!
Jacob19 January 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Mostly I was interested in this movie knowing Tommy Wirkola directed it because I loved very much his Dead Snow, and it shows.

It's stylish, dark, suspenseful, moderately gory, fast-paced and mesmerizing!

I really can't recall enjoying another fairy tale this much.

Finally a breath of fresh air.

Great direction, great writing, great acting, great everything! The 3D rocked this time. I'll definitely go and see it again and will be looking forward to the Blu Ray.

And Gemma Arterton is simply a goddess.
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7/10
Good straight-forward entertainment packed with action.
helmutty29 January 2013
It is a pretty straight-forward action flick. With the short runtime of 1 hour and 28 minutes, you can expect this to move briskly and to be packed with a lot of action.

The story: The movie starts with the young Hansel and Gretel losing their parents. They are shortly picked by a witch to be food. They manage to escape and burn the witch alive and that's how they become witch hunter. Cue to the opening credit. The next scene shows them saving an innocent woman whom is accused of being a witch. And from there, the action keeps going. There are some slight twists about the innocent woman and Hansel and Gretel's parents. Other than that, it is purely straight-forward for a good thing. The action scenes are not bad but they are more gritty than fantastical. Music wise is quite alright with Han Zimmer acting as the music supervisor.

3D: It is okay. As many of the scenes take place at night, the 3D effect dampens. It becomes more like harder to see. But when it comes to explosions, blood splatters and action, it is gimmicky with objects flying to your face. Other than that, the 3D is not really recommended unless you have some spare money.

Overall: It is not bad for the month of January. Sure, there is a great potential that the movie never reach but Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters won't disappoint if you want a good entertainment packed with action. Next fairy tale movie is Jack the Giant Slayer in Feb.
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9/10
I Love This Movie
James Wood15 May 2015
It seems critics nowadays just want serious movies that last hours on end, they don't want action or 3D, they just want to listen to dialogue driven movies that frankly don't go anywhere heart pumping or exciting. It's a real shame when critics can't enjoy watching two of the coolest, freshest actors totally ripping the guts out of evil witches in spectacularly gory style. We need more movies like this, films that don't take themselves seriously and just aim for all out entertainment. Fast paced, sharp and ferociously violent, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters is hands down the most fun and wildly over the top adventure of 2013, it will be hard to beat. The story is played out fast and loose, just like the 3D and special effects which are insanely brilliant, the action is explosive but the best feature is the acting. Jeremy Renner is very entertaining, his humour is very blunt and deadpan and it's a change from his roles in Avengers, Bourne & Mission Impossible. Gemma Arterton is very cool, she takes a whole lot of punches and she fights back with brute force, and most of the bad-ass one liners come from her, "Let the girl go, or I'm gonna blow you sheriff brains all over these hillbillies". It has to be said though, that Famke Janssen is the best, you can tell she is having a blast playing the evil witch Muriel, whenever she comes on screen you can't help but smile, and there's a sense of unpredictability with her character, who knows what she will do next?! It's repeat viewing material and a heck of a blast and there is never a dull moment, just all out action, fun twists and a whole lot of laughter.
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8/10
Surpassed My Low Expectations!
g-bodyl2 June 2014
Before viewing this movie, I knew it was not going to be a masterpiece. I already had incredibly low expectations for it and I thought I was going to hate it. After viewing it, I can say it's a pretty bad....ass film. It's not a great film, but it's ridiculously entertaining and even really funny. There's lots of gore here, so people who love endless CGI blood will fall in love with this film.

Tommy Wirkola's film adds some more depth to the classic tale from the Grimm Brothers, Hansel and Gretel. This story explores their adult lives, where of course they would become witch hunters. They usually get the job done, but then there is this witch who believes she is the most powerful of all.

The acting is good and it seems like everyone had a blast. Jeremy Renner as Hansel was good and the funniest of the siblings. Gemma Arterton is certainly very sexy as Gretel. Peter Stormare makes for a hard-nosed chief and Famke Janssen relishes her role as the evil witch.

Overall, I must admit that I had a blast with Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters. The story is not anywhere to be seen, but I wasn't in the mood for any in-depth story. I just wanted to see witches die, and I think I can say my wish was fulfilled. This is an action-packed horror film that will take you for a thrilling ride. I rate this film 8/10.
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Some Good Moments But Not Enough Energy
Michael_Elliott11 February 2013
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

** (out of 4)

R-rated, gory horror-adventure has brother and sisters Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretal (Gemma Arterton) called to a small town to try and locate some children that have been kidnapped by some witches. Soon they realize that a Queen witch (Famke Janssen) has bigger plans that could have a major change on the world. HANSEL & GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS isn't quite as bad as some are making it out to be but there's no question that the entire film just has an uneasy mix of genres that never fully come together and in the end the film just came off as something that didn't know what it wanted to be or do. At times there's some campy comedy moments but these aren't good enough to save the picture. At other times we're given a fairly interesting look at two people hunting witches but the film doesn't do too much with this. We're also given a picture with some extremely graphic gore that comes out of nowhere. I really liked the fact that they went for a R-rating and didn't hold back for a smaller rating but at the same time if you took this away there really wouldn't be much to the movie. The film manages to be slightly entertaining because of this type of gore but at the same time I can see how it might not sit well with some more sensitive viewers. Another thing I liked was the actual look of the witches. The CGI effects were actually quite believable whenever the witches changed form in their faces. The look of the major witch was also quite nice and benefited from the strong and fun performance by Janssen who managed to bring a certain sexy nature to the role. Both Renner and Arterton are good in their parts but the screenplay really makes both characters quite boring and uninteresting. The supporting players here are usually much better and the movie probably would have benefited having them in it more. This includes an obsessed fan of the duo as well as an evil sheriff. Another problem with the film is that you just never really get involved with anything going on. It looks nice and some of the action scenes are put together nicely but there's just no real energy that brings you into the film.
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Hansel, Gretel And A Load Of Bulls **t!!!
loco_7318 February 2013
Warning: Spoilers
There are popcorn movies and there are crap movies. Unfortunately "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters" belongs to the latter category. Loosely based on the popular Brothers Grimm fairytale, this movie is an exercise in cheesiness, kitch and just overall suckiness! The only two valid reasons for seeing this dung heap, at least they were to me, were Famke Janssen and Gemma Arterton....and that's it I got nothing else! Going in I thought this will be one of those early new-year releases which movie studios always dump quickly and without great fanfare...its almost like an embarrassment dump slash quick cash grab...but "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters" is too slimy and its stench to powerful for something like that! And boy, does it stink!!! One of the crummier movies I've seen in a while and more wasted time than I would have cared to! I would advise people to stay away from this stinker but if you must see it, then make it about, as I said, Famke Janssen and Gemma Arterton...and pretend the rest doesn't exist!
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3/10
Witch hunters with automatic machine guns
Faycal Chraibi21 April 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Hansel and Gretel, two orphans, who barely escaped being devoured by a witch, stroll the world with automatic machine guns to kill witches.

They're called into a village to fight an assembly of ugly witches that planned to cook children in order to become permanently prettier ladies.

Note that the witches are super human type of creatures (super fast, super powerful. A bit like our regular vampire from around the corner.

A bit ironic, but this is mainly the storyline for this movie. I really wonder such a budget could be spent on that kind of movie, which has absolutely no entertainment beside what you've seen in the trailer.

The story is poor, there is bare sympathy for the characters. The burlesque is lost to the missing irony, and you can almost tell after 20mn what will be the finish line.

I even wonder how the writer could find a producer for his script. Well, if it was up to me, waste your time and money on a better movie.
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3/10
Why did I agree to see this again?
Gabriela Ramos Tavárez17 February 2013
Warning: Spoilers
I have to confess I didn't actually see this movie. That was the only reason I gave it a 3. Yes, I did pay for a ticket, bought popcorn and sat through the trailers. I did watch the introduction and the opening titles. I did witness Hansel and Gretel's first hunt in the village whatever and their first clues about the witches' plans. I did witness Jean Grey tear a man apart with tree branches, and then cause another one to explode after he ate a gazillion worms. I left the theater then and there. If I had stayed any longer, I would've probably thrown up. In the 20 minutes I lasted, more or less, I was able to discover many faults in this movie. I didn't come in expecting a nominee for next year's Oscars. I was aware that this was a ridiculous take on a (pretty gory and horrifying on its own) fairy tale with pointless action and semi-attractive actors trying to make a profit. And who doesn't enjoy these two elements a nice long weekend? I knew it was going to be bad, just not "if I don't storm out now I'll vomit and not eat for the next two days" bad. The effects were sloppy, the script poor and full of anachronisms (hillbillies?), and the make-up effects seemed like they were done by complete amateurs. It all mounted up to a creepy, pointless and extremely disgusting image.I have a high tolerance for bad movies,so I can honestly say that this was the WORST movie I have seen, and leaving the theater was one of the smartest decisions I have made in my life. Watching Silver Linings Playbook a second time was a much smarter investment.
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1/10
Just Plain Bad
chow91330 June 2013
If someone ever figures out the point of this film, don't bother telling me.

In 1812 Germany Hansel and Gretel run around hunting witches with everything from modern revolvers, pump shotguns, belt fed machines guns, and tasers. There's even a appearance by a phonograph. Oh yes, and pumpkins. Plenty of pumpkins around Halloween in Germany.

I could forgive all this historic silliness if the film had any entertainment value. It doesn't.

There's nothing really to say accept that this film is poorly made and is completely devoid of any plot, characters, or actors.

Why such a high rating on IMDb.com? Because as usual the studio's social media advertisers have fully infiltrated the page with fake reviews.
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10/10
Excellent Film!
punksharkchick28 January 2013
Warning: Spoilers
I absolutely loved this movie. This isn't going to be an Oscar winning movie, so don't go in expecting that! If you are in the mood for just mindless good entertainment, this is the movie for you. It is somewhat like the show Supernatural if anyone is familiar with it :). Two badass siblings ridding the world of evil witches after their parents abandoned them. (you find out what really happened during the film).

Jeremy Renner is phenomenal as always and this was the first time I have seen Gemma Arterton but she was awesome in it too! It was refreshing to see a female lead who is a strong kick-ass lady who didn't have a romance attached to her in some way.

It was a clever, new take on a classic tale. I think the Grimm brothers would be proud. 10/10
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2/10
No, just, no
TheGatsby9 March 2013
Recently, we've become accustomed to seeing two types of fantasy romps – the darker ones such as 'Snow White and the Huntsman' and the less- serious, genre-mashup, particularly Timur Bembakatov's 'Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter'. Consequently, it's unsurprisingly that Hansel and Gretel would make it to the big-screen once more, however, with this film, they can't be said to fall into either category, but conversely, both. It's just unfortunate that the movie doesn't really work as either.

Diluted down to its basics, the story is something that would intrinsically appeal to a younger audience, due to its fairytale roots, but here it has been given a more 'grown-up' treatment which means brash swearing, nudity and of course, violence. Subsequently, this graphic content is done in too childish a manner to make the film an 'adult' one. At the same time, it attempts to maintain a dark and grim atmosphere to possibly scare viewers, which fails, incidentally. Then, on top of this, there are scenes intended to be ones of genuine emotion to make you empathise with the characters and also scenes that strive to parody the fantasy genre. All of these elements are things that might just work together, but here feel rather disjointed. Also, it's been said that to properly make a parody of something you need to truly love it, but here, such scenes feel quite crass.

I'm aware that this movie is not supposed to be a high-brow work of art, it's supposed to be a slice of enjoyable fantasy adventure, and don't get me wrong, I love a good fantasy romp as much as the next man (I even have a soft spot for 2004's 'Van Helsing') and often relish a nice dollop of violent (and somewhat silly) action, having thoroughly enjoyed Zack Snyder's adaptation of '300'. Yet, I'd struggle to relate this film to being anything remotely close to enjoyable; I frequently tried to enjoy this movie, but couldn't find any cause to, with my interest consistently drifting off.

The action scenes are remarkably unremarkable, with editing that mightn't be out of place in a Michael Bay actioner and overstuffed with flimsy CGI. The characters themselves are unengaging, with Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arteton striding around with American accents that just confounded me, as other players such as Peter Stormare (who can do much better than this) have thick European accents. The creature make-up and design was nothing special and the ogre look unbelievably cheap. If you want to properly do fantasy creatures, just look at someone like Guillermo del Toro. But most significantly, the film was deathly dull, boring, and frankly, forgettable.
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1/10
boring, scriptless, in one word awful
yukinoo17 May 2013
I wasn't expecting anything when I watched this movie in theater. Here is my advice for any person who's looking on IMDb if it is worth to be seen : run run run!!!!!!!!. I know "Hansel and Gretel" might not be the worst movie of all time, but it is definitely one of them. The acting is shallow (I suspect the actors weren't convinced themself of the scenario), the medieval contemporary / atmosphere is a mess ( "Van Helsing" replica but much worse ), and god all I can remember really about the movie is that tons of of ketchup and strawberry jam spammed at every single minute of the movie, looking to put any sense in this glorious mess "Hansel and Gretel" - Witch Hunter...

I struggled to not leave during the movie, having some hope for a potential sparkling in the scenario, which will save the day... but really everything is predictable. Even my husband passed out on the first quarter of the movie. You will not see any memorable speech/scene/atmosphere in this popcorn movie. The dark tale of "Hansel and Gretel" that I read once when I was young has nothing to do with this thing. I put one star, for the make-up artist of the witches ( can't put 0 anyway ).
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8/10
Whoever thought witch hunting could be fun!
kevinxirau27 January 2013
Witches beware because hell hath no fury like a pair of siblings out for some supernatural blood. Now, everyone pretty much knew the story of two kids who escape the wrath of a cannibal witch living in a candy house in the middle of the woods, but what happens after that is revealed in this movie: Hansel and Gretel become witch hunters. Heh, as if Red Riding Hood meeting werewolves wasn't crazy enough.

So the plot goes that after years of hunting witches, the title characters come across a town and get hired by the local mayor to take of a strange matter of witches, led by the wicked grand witch Muriel, kidnapping children for a sinister purpose. As Hansel and Gretel soon learn that this is no ordinary case of a witch infestation, can a dark secret from their past prove to be their salvation or their undoing?

Right from the start, the two protagonists are likable as well as very tough. They actually do act like brother and sister, having a good time while having the occasional disagreement. The weapons they use are insane and the action scenes are a load of fun, fast-paced and lots if gore and destruction. The music fits very well too, complementing a lot of the action that goes on. The witch Muriel is actually a good villain, enjoying every little evil deed she pulls off and seriously messing with our heroes. Throw in a little humor, a couple of nice twists, and excellent special effects (from the CG to the monstrous design of the witches) and you have one fun fairy tale roller coaster ride.

Definitely one of the better reinterpretations of classic fairy tales out there that I have seen and worth a watch, so check it out! Just don't bring any little kids into this one.
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9/10
A legend in the making?
grana2523 January 2013
Wow. Great fun!

Tommy Wirkola is the new Quintin Tarantio! Fresh, rocking and dark! And I also love the splatter-wannabe factor.

The direction is rock solid, story is great and the dialog just works. For all of us who just go to the movies for the thrill and relief from reality, this is a MUST. If the brothers Grimm lived today, this would be their followup. :)

Gemma Arterton is a hard rock babe, Jeremy Renner is cool dude and Tommy Wirkola a possible genius.

Wirkola still has this and that to learn, but watch out for this guy. Only dropped one point since some minor details could better, and my mrs found it a bit too violent (Works as a plus for me :-) )

Watch this movie! (And if you're into zombie/splatter check out Dead Snow too!)
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Children's Dreams
tedg28 February 2015
Warning: Spoilers
It has been some time since I was exposed to how these things work. A clever writer can start with anything and extend it toward a known formula so that it animates that formula with a new disguise. In this world, the writers are witches.

So, one can well imagine the challenge here: target the currently popular formula: brash small group battles (with fists and old fashioned weapons) an organized army of evil. Anchor it in something known that already connects with dreams and inner fears. Implement it with noise and bravado.

The only thing of interest here is how clever were the writers.

Good witch with red hair and nudity, and who falls (but not permanently) with the guy hero? Check.

A complicated, unresolved issue with parents? Check.

Lots of story mechanics about collaborating, trust and friendship, but which preserves the individual's claim to valor? Check, whether you are a teen guy or girl.

Things set up at the end for a franchise? Of course.

I'd say the witches won this round.
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