Transported to Barsoom, a Civil War vet discovers a barren planet seemingly inhabited by 12-foot tall barbarians. Finding himself prisoner of these creatures, he escapes, only to encounter Woola and a princess in desperate need of a savior.
As his kingdom is being threatened by the Turks, young prince Vlad Tepes must become a monster feared by his own people in order to obtain the power needed to protect his own family, and the families of his kingdom.
The siblings Hansel and Gretel are left alone in the woods by their father and captured by a dark witch in a candy house. However they kill the witch and escape from the spot. Years later, the orphans have become famous witch hunters. When eleven children go missing in a small village, the Mayor summons Hansel and Gretel to rescue them, and they save the red haired Mina from the local sheriff who wants to burn her, accusing Mina of witchcraft. Soon they discover that the Blood Moon will approach in three days and the powerful dark witch Muriel is responsible for the abduction of children. She intends to use the children together with a secret ingredient in a Sabbath to make the coven of witches protected against the fire. Meanwhile Hansel and Gretel disclose secrets about their parents.Written by
Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
The text of the newspaper clippings used in the opening credits is from Alexander Roberts' 1616 "A Treatise on Witchcraft". The same piece of text is used twice for different headlines. The repeated excerpt starts 'and of these in day of executions which she is no wise would condiscend'. See more »
Aside from more language, gore, sexual content, and a few extra lines, the extended version features a few extra scenes. They include scenes showing witches forcing children to eat frogs as part of their potion. The bar scene also shows Hansel awkwardly approaching a woman and getting rebuffed. The horned witch, while trying to be interrogated, reveals that she can also communicate with the red-haired witch when she needs help. The morning after the village attack, Sheriff Berringer blames the Mayor for the attack and kills him. The scene where the Sheriff and his goons attack Gretel is extended, is cut in between the scene where Mina heals Hansel, and shows that the men plan to rape her right before Edward kills them. Right after Hansel and Gretel behead Muriel, Ben (despite being a big fan of the siblings killing witches) throws up when he sees the decapitated head. See more »
This is not a quality film and I don't think they even meant it to be good or memorable. If you watched the trailers and *didn't* expect it to be terrible, I'd be very, very surprised. I would never have paid to see this. I only saw it because I got passes to a free advance screening. And it was just as ridiculous as I expected - and I was pretty entertained. We were laughing pretty hard the whole time.
The movie wasn't trying to have a good plot or a surprise twist. Clocking in at a little over an hour, it could have been season finale of a B-grade TV series of the same premise. I think movie was just trying to be funny, and I think their jokes worked. Like how Hansel has a "medical condition" (not spoiling it here). It doesn't work in a physiological sense - but who cares? It was really funny that they even made that connection!
There was an incredible amount of gore in this movie; but I suppose that itself was a joke, given the premise of the movie. Their other jokes relied on anachronisms (weapons, fanboys, crime investigations). But they were careful enough that the anachronisms were funny in the context of the world-building instead of being glaring anomalies.
There might be some people complaining about what an inadequate film this was with respect to plot, but that would be missing the point. Don't watch this expecting to take away anything - it's really only just for the lawls.
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