Welcome to Riverworld, a place of strange, watery beauty and the current abode of a fascinating cast of the recently (and not-so-recently) dead. It certainly isn't Heaven, but it just might be Hell.
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Title: Riverworld (TV Movie 2010)
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| Cast overview, first billed only: | |||
| Tahmoh Penikett | ... | Matt Ellman | |
| Mark Deklin | ... | Sam Clemens | |
| Peter Wingfield | ... | Richard Burton | |
| Jeananne Goossen | ... | Tomoe Gozen | |
| Alan Cumming | ... | Judas Caretaker | |
| Laura Vandervoort | ... | Jessie Machalan | |
| Chiara Zanni | ... | Deborah Glass | |
| Matty Finochio | ... | Antonio Roja | |
| Romina D'Ugo | ... | Allegra Braccioforte de Venezia | |
| Kwesi Ameyaw | ... | Youseff Mbaye | |
| Arnold Pinnock | ... | Simon Porter | |
| Bruce Ramsay | ... | Francisco Pizarro | |
 |
Meg Roe | ... | Amalie Fabarge |
| Thea Gill | ... | Female Caretaker | |
| Matthew MacCaull | ... | Hal Douglas | |
Welcome to Riverworld, a place of strange, watery beauty and the current abode of a fascinating cast of the recently (and not-so-recently) dead. It certainly isn't Heaven, but it just might be Hell.
A bunch of people get blown up. Then they resurrect. Or not. The film spins around on the alive/dead question so many times you get dizzy. The movie makes a habit of never being clear on anything, an apparent excuse to make up stuff as it goes along. This coyness act to maintain audience interest soon becomes annoying. Random stuff appears. For example, what was up with the TV dinner dispensary?
Making occasional visits are two beings with Avatar Blue Man Group faces and Obie Wan Kanobi style robes. These Jedi Ne'vi, or whoever they are, play hide and go seek, and make lame responses to inquiries. But they love to hang around and bug everybody; it reminded me of that whiny nitwit "Q," from Star Trek Next Gen. There's one fight after another, but the film's own dialog seems to be saying none of these events matter anyway. It carelessly hints at being a conglomeration of philosophy, science, and faith issues, but then never earnestly addresses any of these issues. Characters are drawn to illustrate differing people groups, personality types, and even historic eras; yet they still lack dimension.
It should be noted that the cast are the film's greatest strength, making the most of the weak scripting. Jeananne Goossen as the Xena-type Samurai made this over-the-top caricature believable, and Mark Deklin as Mark Twain was suitably amiable.
The ending? "We don't need no stinking ending!" No, just a deliberate set-up for a sci-fi/soap opera TV series. Sorry SyFy channel; one night of this was enough.