Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) Poster

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2/10
Ugh...
devolucija30 June 2011
Warning: Spoilers
// Minor spoilers and bad guy ultimate plot revealed in last paragraph, but it's so stupid you want to know it. Long and rant filled review.

Let's start with 10 stars.

Rosie and Shia wouldn't know how to fake chemistry if someone wrapped a lead pipe in the periodic table and beat them upside their botoxed faces for an hour. The romance part is so awful, so cheesy in this movie, it takes down a star right off the bat. I will also mention the "romance" between Optimus Prime and America - the "one and only real and holy country in the world". *puke*

9 / 10.

Rosie has to be mentioned again as a standalone entry. I can imagine how the casting went.. Bay walks into modeling agency, closes his eyes and says "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, you're the clone that comes along!", thereby picking out the 403rd pair of tits in the lineup. A horrible actress, pretentious character and a so obnoxiously unnecessary role the movie would have been two stars better if she were not there at all. Also, lips are not supposed to look like that. If I was Shia, I'd worry "Are you sure your lips don't hurt? Can we kiss? Won't a stitch break or something?"

7 / 10.

At one point, a guy "hacks" a bridge. He logs into the "bridge control" , and lowers it. Hollywood, bridges do not have an open internet connection with a designated port for "Bridge Control API", otherwise every hacker would be lowering and raising bridges everywhere.

6 / 10.

Since the black guy stereotypes in Transformers2 got some bad rep, Bay went the other way this time - Irish and Scottish. Yes, there is a green robot with an Irish accent, and a red robot with a huge belly and a beard, with a Scottish accent. How did that happen? Did they scan an Ire/Scot when they landed instead of a car? If so, weren't they supposed to turn into the robot-terminator-chick type from Transformers 2?

5 / 10.

Physics. Oh god, the physics. Dear Michael Bay, please realize the following: a) Moon sand is a highly corrosive and metal-unfriendly substance. Any kind of moving metalpart coming in that much contact with it would self destruct by the time it made 3 steps. b) One plane was enough to collapse a Twin Tower into dust. A seventy million billion ton robot shooting and crashing into a building will not make it "tilt slightly" and when that building falls, it will not get stuck between two others like a bridge, ever, regardless what it's made of, especially if that same robot is still crawling through it and destroying chunks. c) When stuff explodes near people, people tend to be stunned, burned and / or get shrapnel shot into their spines. They do not sit idly by and contemplate the situation. So if a grenade explodes in an office cubicle next to the one where the protagonist is standing, he will most probably DIE. d) You cannot grab a SHARP, MAD, DANGEROUS robot by the neck and keep it in control. You will LOSE YOUR FINGERS. e) Do you have any idea how much extra it costs to send an extra kilogram into space in a shuttle? Now imagine how much fuel and money you would need to send 10 million-ton robots into space with a regular human space shuttle launcher. f) When people fly through glass, they ALWAYS get cut. When they fly through 10 panes of glass, they DIE. When they fly through 20, they DON'T, because they got impaled on the 12th or 13th.

4/10

Stealing characters from other franchises just for the kick of it is not cool. You have a predator robot, a robot that is "Q from James Bond", etc. What...?

3 / 10.

Plot: If I was an evil genius and built a war-turning technology, I definitely would not build it so that it has exactly one weak point that, if struck, undoes absolutely everything it ever did, and I would definitely not leave it exposed. The bad guys' ultimate plan was to teleport their PLANET to Earth's atmosphere in order to rebuild it. This raises several issues: 1) You would have approximately 10 minutes to live, before Earth and Cybertron collided due to gravity. Those 10 minutes would be filled with an apocalypse due to uncontrollable floods caused by tides. 2) If you want 6 billion people for the sole purpose of slave labor, you should think about point 1). Also, it is stupid to believe 6 billion people could rebuild a robotic planet sooner or better than 1000 decepticons - you not only have to accommodate and feed the people, but also modify the planet's surface for them to be able to move on it. 3) There is a part where Megatron is chillaxing in an alley after a big fight, and the flat-lipped wonder of a model-clone that is Carly comes up to him spewing some bullshit about the other bad guy getting ready to betray him. Now, even if she made a point, I would still CRUSH that human insect. A meaningless pretentious bitch telling me what to think? I'm a god damn eleventy billion ton robot, you skank! *crush* The other critically stupid thing is the fact that Megatron then prevents the other bad guy from killing Optimus. If you have two enemies who are fighting, it is generally not a good idea to prevent them from killing each other! And while we're here, the decepticons could have won if the bad guy had just used one of the 994208 chances to kill Optimus he's had up until this point.

This brings the movie down to 1/10, but I'll give it a star for excellent special effects. 2/10.
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5/10
Well I pretty much got what I was expecting.
Hamzakhalid3 January 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I'm seriously surprised at most of the reviews that streamed about this movie. I think that critics and movie reviewers need some perspective, this is a Michael Bay film about transforming robots that kids used to play with (including me), so I went in with the right amount of expectations and got a very impressive visual experience. Now I'm not giving Micheal Bay an excuse to make a bad film but as far his movies go, this is definitely one of his finer ones.

It has both its pros and cons. Pros: The story is a HUGE improvement over the second one, with some good twists added there and then, albeit a bit long. Now it's not Phenomenal story telling but acceptable enough for a good fun summer action film. The character development is able to keep me watching since the second one had absolutely NONE of it. The SFX are fantastic. This movie has the best CGI out of all 3 in the trilogy. Even the smallest robots look very realistic. The action scenes are AMAZING. I could actually differentiate between the good guys and bad guys this time, its amazing how much more depth it adds to the scenes. The highway scene is my favourite from the movie. The robots also get a lot more screen time and pay a more important part to the story than before. Unlike in the second one, each robot gets a fair amount of screen time and does something useful instead of just being the military's attack dogs.

The cons: The humor is unnecessary and unfunny, although it has been cu down to minimal amounts .The romance is useless and awkward. The two main leads don't have any chemistry and I don't see why Shia needs to be paired up with a hot supermodel every film (or why he still even needs to be there at all). The acting is meh, shia and josh are great but the rest of the cast is pretty...meh. Rosie has very little acting talent, although she is a slight improvement over megan fox in terms of acting. The soundtrack is awesome but it sounds very very similar to the scores in the Dark Knight and Inception. The decepticons are still portrayed as mere evil destruction machines who hate everything, i wish they were more developed characters and that the relationships between the robots were explored more, I mean, whenever any bot dies, the others are literally cool with it two seconds later and do not mention the incident again. (SPOILER) Megatron is no longer the evil villain bent on dominian, instead he's simply the anti hero who is solely focused on saving his planet, HE EVEN SAVES PRIME'S LIFE at the last second simply because Rosie called him sentinel's bitch(SPOILER).The biggest problem which I had with the ending is that it is wrapped up too quickly, another 2 mins would have been fine. The movie's run time is very long, the first hour could've been done in 10 minutes.

Overall I think the movie is able to deliver a very entertaining experience. Yes the trilogy would have been better in different hands but I was able to enjoy it as much as I did the first one. Just don't go in expecting anything revolutionary or brilliant, turn of your mind, ready the pop corn and enjoy.

My rating: 7/10
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3/10
Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Some Things Never Change
I'm going to commit what to many will seem like film geek treason, I will now connect Michael Bay and Terrence Malick into one theory of filmmaking.

Yep, deal with it.

Malick and Bay share one important thing and that is a completely unabashed tunnelvision for the type of film they want, damn the naysayers, critics and crowds. They both make movies mainly for themselves and in truth, there is nothing wrong with that. As an audience member you need to know going in exactly what you are going to get. It is the only way to really enjoy anything that falls from the cameras of these two (and some other notables). With that said, let's dive headlong into the metallic masterpiece of summertime popcorn, Transformers!

Transformers: Dark of the Moon continues the story of Sam Witwicky and his Autobot friends. While Sam struggles to gain a purpose in life outside of Decepticon attacks, the Autobots are off helping the government on secret missions. Then everything is torn apart by the discovery of the original Autobot escape ship, known as The Ark, and the captain of that ship, Sentinel Prime. He alone holds the key to technology that could either help reshape the Transformers home world or completely destroy ours. The Decepticons, completely aware of this discovery, make an immediate power play and the war is back, bigger than ever.

Kids buying the Transformer toys today only want one thing, huge robots in spectacular 3D slow motion destroying each other and every building in sight. From this narrow viewpoint, Bay delivers in bulk. The highway fight sequence brought back memories of other high-speed terror scenes like in Matrix Reloaded and The Island (maybe a little too reminiscent of that last one according to some eagle eyed movie nerds). Since Bay actually filmed these scenes in the latest and greatest 3D technology, it was admittedly pretty amazing to watch. In other scenes, some of the CGI was so intensely crisp that it actually started popping too far from the live footage, making it stand out, which ruins a little of the illusion.

So the special effects is where it was at. Big robots, big explosions, big buildings falling down. Those were the high points.

The low points were pretty much everything else.

Standing in the center of all the toys-on-roids insanity is Shia LaBeouf, who in my opinion is a really good actor banking inside really bad movies. I can't fault him for taking parts in some of the biggest franchises in movie history (Transformers and Indiana Jones) because the exposure and paycheck are nearly impossible to pass up, but in terms of showing his skills as an actor, those hefty titles have done him nothing but a painful disservice. He made his big splash on the scene in the Disney TV show Even Stevens and then on the big screen in the Rear Window update, Disturbia. Many people also don't remember one of my personal favorite performances in the Project Greenlight-sponsored film, The Battle of Shaker Heights. Shia has the chops, but gets surrounded by weak emotional performances, both from CGI and real people. In this outing, Megan Fox's eye candy character was replaced by Victoria Secret's model (and current Jason Statham girlfriend), Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. Whiteley was an improvement in sense of acting ability, but the part was written levels below what Fox was given. The original love interest had layers, depth and some edge, while Whiteley was given virtually no background, no emotional outlet and nothing to do but stand there and be hot. Sure, the 12-year old in the audience doesn't want or need more, but to them I say, "Go grab a Victoria Secret's catalog from your parent's bathroom and stay out of my movie."

Beyond the magical pair of leads, Bay brings back the regular tough guys, Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson, to keep on keeping on. They both do fine jobs and don't try to make this more than it is. Coming in for the first time in the franchise is Frances McDormand, an Academy Award winner to class up the joint. While she was amusing and brought a little more skill to the screen, her part was borderline over-the-top, even in a movie with three story tall robots, because she had to balance out John Tuturro who drifts somewhere off to Hunter S. Thompson land. As if they weren't enough, Bay decides to bring in an unusual amount of big name cameos, including John Malkovich (who does a decent job in his few scenes) and Ken Jeong (who seems to be acting in a completely different movie, possibly thinks he's filming Hangover 3). I saved the best for last though, my personal favorite and the only person I was actually thrilled to see appear on screen, Alan Tudyk (who plays Tuturo's assistant/bodyguard). Tudyk is a cult TV and film legend to his legions of fans spanning from the days of Firefly, Dollhouse and other projects not created by Joss Wheedon. Tudyk was the one person I actually cheered form when he magically appeared on screen.

I could go into a section now where I talk about the story, the plot lines, the connective tissue of the writing, but in reality, Bay didn't really care and neither do the younger members of the crowd, so let's just skip it.

The End of the Page recommendation: Transformers: Dark of the Moon starts slow, goes out with a bang and delivers surface entertainment for the middle school crowd.
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1/10
Dear Mr Bay - Transformers 3
Jamie Stronge8 July 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Dear Mr Bay After recently viewing your latest movie I couldn't help but feel you need a few tips on: a) General movie making and plot writing b) Making a Transformers movie Although I know nothing of these I feel I could still do a much, much better job than you did with your latest movie. So here goes.

To begin with, when writing a plot it is often a very good idea to stick with a few simple ideas, unless you're making Inception but please don't try this, as I'm already cringing at thought. As you have probably found, or will soon find, people don't like it when you try to add little pieces together to make one big whole, this just doesn't work out to be a good story, or a very well thought out story. Hence the gaping plot holes in your latest story. For example, if the Decepticons had been removing pillars from the Dark Side of the Moon years and years ago what was the point of the first two movies? With a movie it is also a good idea to not try build suspense at every turn, have massive pivotal moments that last 5 seconds and insignificant pointless moments that last 15 minutes. And just because you found a girl that you thought could replace Megan Fox doesn't mean that she needs to have long freeze frame shots, heroic moments or even to be in the movie. And not every character has to be a hero. Optimus Prime definitely, Bumble Bee understandable, Sam Witwicky...maybe in a human kind of way. But not every character with a small speaking part needs to be a hero and change the course of history, if that was the case then everyone would just be normal and there wouldn't ever be heroes right? Also when casting characters don't pick every minor comedic actor that auditions, because similar to the piecemeal nature of your story line, lots of minor comedic actors don't make for a funny movie. And when I went to see the Transformers 3 movie I didn't say "Hey, that'll be hilarious" I said "Awesome, I can't wait for epic fight scenes and intense visual and audial effects that make me excited for days after" Which leads me to my next 2 major problems.

I understand that you just make movies but you'd think that you'd understand the two things that made the first Transformers and saved the second. Epic Autobot/Decepticon fight scenes and amazing transforming sounds. Both of which your movie lacked or pretty much ignored. The only reasons I said I'd return to a Transformers movie after the failure of the second one but for some reason you thought it's be fine without these things and that you could fill the movie with ridiculous amounts of human characters, explosions, and epic moments.

And to top it all off you make 2 little pet transformers, that annoyed the audience throughout the movie, have one of the most pivotal moments in the victory of the Autobots! And then the new Transformers girl, who should stick to modeling by the way, convinces Megatron, the absolute evil and most powerful Decepticon, to kill Sentinel Prime! Why the heck wouldn't he just squash her? This would probably have saved the movie in my opinion but sadly we can add this to the long line of missed opportunities in your movie.

But the worse thing that you could have possibly done...is killed off Ironhide in the way that he was killed. You're talking about the weapons and combat expert of the Autobots, the heavy unit, second only to Optimus and you kill him off like he was one of your several other dispensable characters. How do you sleep at night? I just find it hard to believe that after the last Transformers movie you actually managed to make a worse movie. I mean here was your chance at redemption, something simple, maximum transformer fighting, maximum transforming sounds! It looks so good in my head! But then I think about what you did...and it all crumbles and my heart dies just a little more.

So my advice to you is maybe you should really try and understand what the Transformers is all about, it doesn't have to be complicated, you don't have to have 5000 transformers, or characters for that matter. Keep it simple stupid. Fewer characters, fewer epic moments, more transforming, more transformer fighting, Optimus blitzing it out with any Decepticons who cross his path, awesome Bumble Bee/Iron Hide combo kills, Sam calls his girlfriend to say whats up but nothing more from her because she can't act very well, Ironhide dies a noble death if needs be (although questionable), no comedy, and just one epic world saving moment not 50.

And my advice for anyone going to see the movie...don't.

Make up your own ideal Transformers 3 story line and watch Transformers 1 again.

I wish I had.

So thank you Mr Bay, for ruining something I held so dear.

Yours totally and utterly sincerely Jamie Stronge.
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2/10
Where will the explosions stop?
tbmforclasstsar28 June 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Around a half hour into watching the third installment in the Michael Bay driven Transformers franchise, a very serious thought entered my head.

"What the f*** is this movie?"

I really am not sure where to begin when discussing such a chaotic mess that seemed like a 6 hour movie stuffed into a two and a half hour potato sack and beaten repeatedly with a pillow case filled with bars of soap.

I guess we can start with the goals that seemed to be laid out in making this third film.

First off, action and CGI were, without a doubt, the number one priority in this film. This makes complete sense. The action and CGI is really exciting to look at and a getaway for some viewers when they see a film; robots transforming from cars, buildings collapsing from the sky, soldiers flying into battle in wing suits, and what must have been thousands of explosions all in 3D.

The next objective had to be comic relief. If you are a minor character, you will say something funny. If you are a small transforming robot, you will definitely say something funny. Don't forget to make the jokes a little more vulgar than the first two films and even a little cheesier. Cheese sells.

The last major objective had to be how much sex appeal can we put in this movie. I suppose when you cast the likes of a Victoria Secret model in her first role in a film (see my previous article about Ms. Huntington-Whiteley from yesterday) and the hunky doctor from Grey's Anatomy your film is set to draw boys and girls alike.

The film accomplishes all of these goals, but at what cost (now it's as if I'm talking in an Optimus Prime voice). What about story? Coherence? Character development? Audience to character relationship?

It seems like I am just beating a dead horse over and over again (or a horse that surely does more coke than Tony Montana when directing his films), but I am more and more offended each time I see a Michael Bay film. Even more so, I am offended every time some moron in the theater tonight started clapping when Bumble Bee had a stellar looking upper cut kill or Rosie Huntington-Whiteley stood slow-mo with explosions blasting all around her (not joking, they clapped).

Transformers: Dark of the Moon is a bumbling mess of fire and loud noises and is just another film for Michael Bay to add to the references on his resume for most ridiculous director of all time.

Even worse is the flow and logic of Dark of the Moon. I have seen plenty of films to accept that not understanding what is going on doesn't really matter, but it is different with a mainstream blockbuster. When watching a David Lynch film, you can expect something like this. When watching a film about transforming robots, coherence should be somewhat standard.

For the first hour and a half of the film I had no idea what city the film was in. I heard Sam (Shia LaBeouf) say "DC" early on, so I assumed that was where we were. But then his girlfriend Carly (Huntington- Whiteley) worked at the Milwaukee Art Museum (it took a while to realize that the museum was now fictionally home to her boss) and a fight takes place on a highway listing signs to "Aurora" and "Rt. 20" (names that any Chicago kid would recognize). Hell, the headquarters of NEST is clearly the downtown loop area.

So after a certain transformer leaves the NEST headquarters and is next to the reflecting pool in DC moments later, I thought "either Bay has decided his audience will have no idea what length of time passes from cut to cut or Milwaukee and Chicago are now Washington DC." I think the answer is the latter, but I am still not sure.

This is just one example of the incoherence that can be found in this film (like how Bumble Bee saves Sam in the middle of the battle and moments later is on his knees for execution by the hands of the decepticons). It is bewildering how unorganized this film is.

Maybe the final goal of Michael Bay in this film was to bring back memories of some of the most significant events in the United States since the 1960s. The film includes the Apollo 11 story, a rocket ship blowing up after take off that is extremely familiar to the Challenger explosion in 1986, and, as if the event being referenced wasn't fresh in many minds, sky scrapers tumbling to the ground and characters falling out of windows to their death.

There seemed to be no goal to the film other than mind fluff; expensive, loud, and annoyingly repetitive mind fluff. As a major credit to the special effects and CGI team, the film's action is a tremendous accomplishment. The problem is the success is contained in a film that has absolutely no other redeeming qualities.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon is almost too bad to describe. I would like to say it contains the worst story and flow in any movie I have ever seen, but that would just seem overly dramatic.

I will say this, there were much better ways I could have spent my $15.50 and two and a half hours of my life than seeing this film. There have been enough films with explosions in the last five years to not have one for another 50.
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4/10
Amazing visual spectacle but tedious and full of clichés
Freddy Cox28 June 2011
This film is certainly an outstanding visual spectacle that boasts some of the most impressive, fluid and stunning cgi sequences I've ever seen. The photography is fantastic and the 3d technology is used effectively to create stunning, visually amazing scenes. However, that is the only aspect of the film that I believe deserves merit at all.

Despite the continuous action, destruction and battles, I found this film to be extremely boring, and the final battle, which claimed the last hour of the film was far too long and drawn out and it greatly prevented me from appreciating the visual spectacle that is the final battle as it's so long it becomes tedious and I couldn't wait for it to end.

The extensive use of cgi action scenes was what ruined the film for me, and although I never fully agree with the typical view that modern films have too much cgi and effects and not enough good story, this film certainly presented a convincing case that the above statement is true. As there is so much shooting, exploding and fighting in this film there is relatively little time for dialogue, which was largely, poorly written, and full of clichés.

Finally, I didn't rate the casting of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley or her performance. She has clearly been chosen for the role for her good looks and her great sex appeal although I think she shines brighter as an underwear model than blockbuster film actress. Also, It seems unbelievable to me that Shia LaBeouf's character, although not a bad looking guy, has been in relationships with 2 characters played by women who have both topped the annual FHM 100 sexiest women in the world poll. Rosie has clearly been cast to attract more male viewers, bring sex appeal that the film didn't really need and throughout struck me as being far out of Shia's league.
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1/10
I have seen the future of horror, and his name is Michael Bay
usskirkncc300130 June 2011
Warning: Spoilers
He has now made two blockbuster movies which make no sense no matter how many ways you try to put them together, and people don't seem to care. The critics have brutally trashed both this movie and "The Fallen" movie, yet audiences love both films although they seem to have been put together by a group of 2nd graders who playing out randomly strung together old cartoon episodes with their toys.

I am an old school fan who liked the first two movies, but "Dark of the Moon" makes "Fallen" look like Shakespeare. It's incredible how many people are saying that this movie is better than "Fallen". With all its faults, at least "Fallen" had humor, some incredible action sequences and effects, and an interesting, if incomplete, script. This movie has none of these things. This is a very long and boring movie that wastes the talents of good actors. The attempts at humor are painful to watch. The three Transformers movies cannot be connected now no matter how hard you try. To make another sequel would be ludicrous, but seeing how much money this drivel is making already, I bet they have already taken the five minutes needed to write the next one. The original writers were smart to bail out of this train wreck after Bay made them write "Fallen" in a couple of days and went on to butcher the little that they had time to write. This time there was no writers' strike, so I expected better--like explanations and connections across all three films. You'll get none of that here, just more incomprehensible nonsense that ignores the other films. You don't know what's going on half the time, and the final battle has no pacing, motivation, or orientation--it just drags on and on and on---like that 20 minute desert sequence in "The Fallen" multiplied by 10.

What happened to the Cube's knowledge in Sam's brain? Why was Sentinel Prime's ship shot down by the people that were working with him? How was Megatron going to rendezvous with him if they ended up finding earth in different time periods? Why did Megatron go after the cube if the original plan seemed to be to enslave earth and transport Cybertron there using the space bridge? How did Sentinel's ship crash on earth's moon if it was shot down over Cybertron? Why didn't Megatron go after the Space Bridge parts when he awoke in the first movie? Why didn't he after he awoke in the second movie? Why didn't they use the shard in the second movie to activate Sentinel on the moon instead of Megatron? How did Sentinel, the Cube, and the Sun Harvester all end up on earth? Why are the Transformers not even bothering to project human images in their car modes anymore? Why does Prime carry The Matrix of Leadership (a key to activate the Sun Harvester) inside of him and use it to energize Autobots which it is not meant to do? When, why, and how did an entire army of generic Decepticons hide inside of the moon? Why do the Transformers transform? These are just a few of about a hundred questions that this movie brings up. I suspect that not even Michael Bay knows the answers, and he doesn't care. it's insulting.

There are some good ideas, but it's all put together very badly, and not much is explained. Watching this movie gave me the feeling that Bay and the actors are here to wrap this up and are not interested in this material. The studios will be pressuring him to make #4, so he can get some 3rd graders together to write a script again---yet another group of Autobots has been buried in a volcano for 4 million years! They can transform to dinosaurs-- no explanation is necessary. Out of all of the planets in the infinite universe, their ship crashed on earth because...well because the script says so. They were looking for the cube, no-- the Harvester, no-- the space bridge, no wait...they were looking for the ancestor of Michael Bay. If Bay is never born, these movies would never exist and we can reboot.
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2/10
terrible, stupid, ridiculous
xaositect-93-97710129 June 2011
Warning: Spoilers
i checked IMDb today after i came home from the cinema, and saw that the movie has almost 7 points... i just had to register to write this review.

It was absolutely terrible. In advance, i'd like to apologize for using the world "ridiculous" too many times, but that's the best one to describe this masterpiece. of course one would expect that a story about 30 m high robots is a little bit ridiculous, but it was really over the top. After things started going, there wasn't a single minute in the film where something utterly ridiculous did not happen. So many examples... I'll list some of them and some of my problems

  • the chick checks the 2 evil robots with the spyglass, sees that they have an argument. later on, she decides to turn megatron against the bearded guy (the super villain high tech robot megatron), and she persuades him. yeah, that's right. that's some neat intrigue you might expect from hose luis Fernando from a Brazilian soap opera, you get it here with a super robot in a 100 million dollar budget film with Steven Spielberg's name.


  • they don't stop telling each other secrets of the government. no question, no reason, it's needed because the story can't progress, so why not tell something that's been a state secret for 30 years, or even yell it in front of 30 people. every time this happens, you just ask loudly in your chair: WHY THE HELL DID HE TELL THAT? but there's never an answer


  • no one thinks forward in the movie, not even the decepticons. the bug just came off the main guy's wrist after the decepticons thought the auto bots left.why the hell did it come off and just left the guy that has been a major pain in the ass for the decepticons in the past decade? why didn't it stay on him or kill him? humans don't kill each other, even if it would be in their best interest. no, they let the hostage live and tell secrets so he can escape and ruin their plans. the robots somehow avoid killing humans until the last part of the movie


  • the movie has some weird comical parts, some of them childish, and they don't kill any humans in the first half of the movie. but then there is a gay joke and at the end the human killing strangely begins, decepticons shoot people to ash and their skull rolls on the ground after they evaporated. so please mr bay, decide if you want a movie for the audience of spy kids,and don't show sexual/violent stuff, or make a scifi for adults, and don't make it retarded.


  • they replaced Megan fox with this blonde chick, a significant portion of the movie was centered around her ass or boobs. this was actually a semi-valid reason to look at this terrible piece of a movie, but is this really justified in a sci-fi?. and btw she's 10 cm higher than the protagonist and she can't act.


  • they keep fighting with idiotic weapons, optimus even has a flame ax or what the heck now. really. super high tech robots equipped with huge ass cannons fight like tom cruise in the last samurai with close combat weapons. optimus prime even had some kind of fight position at the start of one fight, like a martial artist, which looked really stupid.


  • they couldn't think of a decent new villain, so they just repeated the one in the last episode. an ancient robot on top of a big building doing some kind of intergalactic mambo jumbo for half an hour. pretty lame, also what's up with robots having beard mustache hair out of metal, it isn't bad ass it's idiotic


  • starscream has the ability to shoot a missile that utterly destroys a gigantic space ship full of auto bots. meanwhile throughout the movie the high tech super intelligent robots keep fighting with knives and swords. no comment


  • the trend continues, new robots appear that resemble some ridiculous characters. we have a fat robot now, old ones with beard and male pattern baldness, troll doll robot, an eagle robot (that flies with metallic wings, not engines), megatron gets a hood and looks like some dark wanderer now, and my favorite, his lackey, the HUNCHBACK robot. yeah, that's right. megatron has the robot version of the hunchback of Notre dame. that sole character, that they attempted to take it seriously made the whole thing retarded, even without the countless other stupid characters and scenes of the movie that would only satisfy a mentally handicapped teenager


  • laws of physics work differently in the movie. collapsing buildings/robots avoid humans, a metallic building structure hangs in the air in a ridiculous position, the scientist robot sucks a whole metal PLANET through a portal right next to earth and nothing happens (and btw first the summoning is interrupted and there is a planet cut in half near earth, with a plainly cut surface at the intersection, and then the summoning is restored and it CONTINUES to come out of the portal.). somebody before this planet-portal scene mentions that they wanna make the humans slaves to rebuild the planet.later, robots are slaying humans left and right, killing everyone. that's clever, killing your slaves


  • full of idiotic clichés like the grand American speech of the commander to talk soldiers into impossible mission, "we only need one shot", etc, really anyone finds these cheap and bad


  • the protagonist's parents are so annoying, they make you wanna kill the writer of the script slowly and painfully


-etc etc

could go on for about 3 pages... really, don't watch this movie if you want yourself good. visuals make it a worthy 2/10
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6/10
Stunning Effects But the movie lacks Heart and Soul
changmoh28 June 2011
It's 'Bayhem' time again - and this time around demolition king Michael Bay presents his trademark 'Six-C's' in glorious 3D! In case you don't know, the six 'Cs' are: chases, clashes, crashes, combustions, carnage and cleavage. Spread over a bottom-numbing two-and-a-half hours, "Transformers: Dark Of The Moon" can also induce mental and metal fatigue, especially with the clanging robots smashing one another - and the whole exercise making little sense.

Technologically, however, "Dark Of The Moon" is Bay's best work so far - and action fans looking to be awed by scenes of massive mayhem and destruction in 3D should be satisfied. Story-wise, this one is better than "Revenge Of The Fallen", but not as fun and emotionally-connecting as the first.

The film opens with a flashback to the Sixties Apollo landing mission where history is rewritten (by Ehren Kruger) to incorporate the cover-up of an alien spaceship crashing on the moon. That spaceship, of course, is one of the remains of the epic battles between the Autobots and the Decepticons, and its 'discovery' sparks off another war that threatens to destroy planet Earth. Or at least the face of Chicago as we know it.

On the human level, we find that Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) has traded in his girlfriend Mikaela (Megan Fox) for a newer model (a Victoria Secret one, to be exact) in the shape of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley as Carly). Sam is being offered a job by Bruce Brazos (John Malkovich) but we soon learn that Carly's boss Dylan (Patrick Dempsey) may be up to no good. Then, when the conflict between the Autobots and Decepticons hots up, Captain Lennox (Josh Duhamel) and Sergeant Epps (Tyrese Gibson) of the elite Government squad NEST are summarily called into action.

We get lulled into believing that there may somehow be an intelligent plot coming from the conspiracy of the NASA lunar-landing cover-up which also involves the Russian space program and Chernobyl. These turn out to be just an exercise in 'historical name-dropping' to spur our interest before we get to the demolition derby created by the Transformers. Indeed, some of the robots seem to emote better that the live cast. Cybertron leader Sentinel Prime, for example, is even designed to look like Leonard Nimoy (who provides its voice), complete with stuff that looks like beard. Again, the problems of the previous installments recur - like the confusion between the good and bad robots in the clashes.

Unlike the first two movies, there are no more gags about the shock of humans interacting with the mechanical 'bots. Bay, however, insists on some comic sequences and he has hired Ken Jeong to do his in-your-face shtick as Jerry Wang. John Turturro reprises his role as former FBI agent Simmons but this time around, Turturro finds it fit to clown around with his role. The most striking inclusion to the cast is Rosie Huntington-Whiteley as Sam's love interest. However, with limited acting talent, she provides only eye-candy and beside her, Megan Fox would look like an Oscar-caliber actress.

Like the first "Transformers", this one is also a live-action cartoon on a grand scale. Scenes of Chicago buildings being toppled and destroyed can be as spectacular and brain-numbing as those of September 11; and the wing-suit flying sequences are breath-taking. Indeed, these are what most of Michael Bay's fans pay for and they will not be disappointed. The only problem for me is that Bay prolongs and repeats the robotic clash sequences to the point of being self-indulgent. Technically brilliant and visually arresting, "Dark Of The Moon" lacks heart and soul. (limchangmoh.blogspot.com)
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7/10
Good considering what it is
rawpow19228 November 2011
I have to say I enjoyed watching Transformers 3. If you take it for what it is, a Michael Bay movie with awesome, epic visuals, an over-the- top weak plot, not very deep characters, and classic 'Bay' humor, then it's great. Not as good as the first, but easily better than the 2nd one.

First off, the visual effects are amazing. One of the best, if not the best, that I've seen, both in details on the transformers, in action/fighting sequences, and in more general landscape shots - the views of Chicago when it was being attacked by decepticons were great. I watched it in 3D in the theater, and it was arguably the best 3D effects I've seen, and best use of 3D cameras, and that is including Avatar which i also saw in 3D. This is what Michael Bay is really good at, and this movie shows he is arguably the expert in visual effects and composition.

visual effects and presentation - 10/10

The plot isn't great. When it starts out, it seems like it might develop nicely into a moderately complex story rooted in some historical events that happened very differently than how we thought (kind of like the hoover dam part in the first transformers), but in the end not much is made of that and the plot is relatively direct and over-the-top. However, it does have a few good moments that offer a bit more complexity or emotion, and anyways I didn't watch the movie hoping for a subtle, complex, and nuanced plot.

Plot - 6/10

The characters and acting aren't Oscar-worthy either, to say the least. Rosie Huntington-Whitely is not a great actress, in fact she isn't really an actress, and it shows, but, to be honest, I have seen worse performances. Shia Labeouf is decent in his role as usual. and again there are some new characters, including some for Michael Bay- esque comic relief (which in my opinion is actually funnier than much of the humor in revenge of the fallen, which felt a little too forced to me).

Characters/acting - 6/10

Fun - 8/10

If you're expecting a layered, nuanced movie with deep characterization and a complex and well-written plot, well, then, don't watch this. If, though, you want a fun blockbuster with truly amazing visual effects, a decent (but forgettable) storyline and characterization, and an easy to follow dynamic, well you'll probably like Transformers 3.
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2/10
Product Placements and Ducklips
elkabong-dd11 August 2011
OK, let's be fair to this movie. The special effects were great -- assuming you can suspend your belief in physics long enough to enjoy them. The rest of this movie was awful.

The product placements for Lenovo, Cisco, Waste Management and Chevy Impala were overwhelming. There was a product placed in almost every scene, and the sheer SIZE of the logo overshadowed most scenes. It was brutal, even for Michael Bay.

And the leading woman (I refuse to look her name up for this review) - the giant implants she had in her lips gave her that permanent "duck- lip" look. Gross.

It's sad to see so much of Hollywood's money go to tripe like this. There must be better things to fund.

2/10, and all of the "2" is special effects.
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7/10
A Big Improvement from Revenge of the Fallen
Grey Gardens15 June 2011
Warning: Spoilers
As a huge fan of the Transformers animated series, I like the first Transformers film. The visuals were spectacular and so were the fighting scenes When I saw Transformers 2, which is a HUGE mess of a film, I was really angry. I vowed never to see a Transformers film ever again. But when the trailer of Transformers 3 came out, I actually got a little interested. I mean the special effects were pretty much great as usual. But this time, it seemed they took off the annoying little robots and that annoying mother and replaced them with good old fashioned action.

When I went to an advanced screening yesterday, I still came in with relatively low expectations. I have to say, that Transformers 3 is an overall improvement from its predecessor, Transformers 2. The film was pretty much at level with the first film, though. The action scenes were highly extravagant and at times, pretty epic. The movie had a lot less lame scenes, which is always a plus. The acting was okay. Megan Fox's replacement, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley was okay, but she's certainly not a good actress, but a mediocre one, actually I liked her more than Megan Fox. I liked how the movie used the Apollo landing as a part of its story, like in Forrest Gump. However there were so many characters that were extremely thinly written. John Turturro's character was definitely not needed and some of the dialogue was incoherent and very messy, at times. The movie is also way too long, at 157 minutes, wow. I thought the last scene with Megatron was completely rushed and so was the ending. Although the last hour of the film is pretty epic at times, so I was fulfilled with the visual effects.

Overall I rate Transformers 3, an 7/10. Don't go in expecting a Best Picture winner/nominee. With the right amount of expectations, you will probably be fulfilled. A definite improvement over Revenge of the Fallen, which doesn't say much. But at the end, the great special effects and extremely extravagant action scenes more than make up its flaws. I'd recommend this film if you like the franchise.
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6/10
Transformers 3: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
Tom Orrow28 June 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Man, so much stuff happens in this damn movie. One can only scratch the surface of what the movie has to offer when reviewing it. The best I can do is list the best and worst of it.

The Good

The best thing about these movies is how they look, how well the transformers integrate into the real-life footage to make a compelling action sequence. Here it's cranked to eleven, and the CG is very impressive. On the larger shots, even tiny transformers far in the background look convincing.

There a several action set pieces (specifically towards the end) which are easily some of the best of the trilogy. The whole scene with the collapsing building and the tracking shot of Optimus slicing and smashing his way through a bunch of decepticons are colossal showstoppers.

This is also one of the best 3D movies to date. One major critique of 3D is that 3D glasses make the film darker, but here they do a very smart thing, the film itself is brighter than your average movie and this problem evens itself out. Another thing that worried me before I saw it is that if there was so much high-speed action maybe that and the combination of 3D would give me motion sickness, end of the movie: no problems.

The Bad

The villains suck. Megatron does absolutely nothing throughout the whole film until right at the end, and even that was a let down. Shockwave appears briefly at the start and vanishes for two hours, he himself doesn't actually do much, it's all down to this big nameless tentacle-clad decepticon he works with. Starscream does nothing, but then he never did anything anyway. I'm not even going to mention Patrick Dempsey. But the biggest let down is with the movies main villain "Sentinel Prime". Basically he is Optimus' predecessor but he changed sides to the decepticons and made a deal with Megatron to bring life back to their home planet Cybertron. This is the driving element of the movie, but there are many plot holes from this. Early in the film Optimus basically says he wants to make Sentinel Prime leader of the autobots again, and offers him the matrix (an item that brings dead transformers back to life) but Sentinel Prime declines. Then he changes sides. Why did he decline taking the matrix? it would in definitely be a help in his ploy. Sentinel Prime gets numerous chances to kill Optimus once and for all, but like all lousy villains he delays his hand and Optimus lives.

The product-placement is out of control. I am not joking when I say there is a scene where Shia LaBeouf stops the movie to recite a Mercerdes Commercial

The annoying characters from the last movie are gone, save one. The little autobot who humped Megan Fox's leg makes a return. Just be thankful there's no Skids and Mudflap

The Down-Right Ugly

The acting here is a range from Tolerable to Impossibly-Bad. There are actors here that have been in some high quality material that just blatantly signed onto this because A) they wanted a paycheck B) they have nothing else on their schedules I mean John Malkovich and Frances McDormand are Oscar nominees who are so unbelievably bad in this movie they make Shia Lebeouf look like Laurence Olivier and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is the stiffest most wooden actress i've seen in ages. John Turturro is awkward but after three movies I don't care anymore.

Stereotypes a-hoy, not as prominent as before but it's here. We have: Tyrese Gibson and some other black guy fist-bump and ridicule one another. We have LeBeouf call a Japanese man "Moto-Mushi-Ichi" and decepticons with dreadlocks. Plus that gay guy from the hangover makes an appearance as some loony scientist, but luckily Michael Bay had the sense to drop him out of a window.

Some visceral "American" moments, like using the moon landing to spark the movies plot. Also blowing up the statue of Lincoln to let Megatron sit on the chair instead. Since i'm British I didn't care for these scenes that are obviously meant to say to American audiences: "These decepticons are blowing up America! Damn Them!"

In Conclusion, I may have some major complaints with this movie but it is a ton of fun. The movie delivers on everything it promises and everything you expect and not a single dull moment. If you loved the first movie, and loved the second movie (god help you) I can guarantee you will love this movie even more. I'd say the definitive summer film this year has been made clear.

So.. Viewing Audience.. Roll Out...
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4/10
Witwicky The Movie!
TourettesPersonal2 July 2011
Witwicky The Movie! Once again, Transformers is not focused to the Transformers but focused to a human being named Sam Witwicky. This is why I never liked Michael Bay's Transformers. This is why I already predicted "Revenge of the Fallen" will fail two years ago because the movie is not interested with Optimus. How can this series be called Transformers if it doesn't have enough Transformers? The Autobots only appear when there are Decepticons attacking and the preachy scenes about them. If there's no action, there's the life of Witwicky. His life is never interesting but the film just wants us to show how important it is. How about less Witwicky and more Optimus? Would it make the film better? I guess so.

Transformers movies never gets a good story. But we still watch these movies for the Autobots and the explosion and the loud noises. Fact: The scenes of the Autobots only exist in the action scenes and the important scenes about them. The rest is all Witwicky and his chick and his uninteresting & unimportant life. There are new Transformers in this film but we never get to know them because it doesn't only have new Transformers, it also have excessive cameos. These celebrity cameos has more screen time than the robot newbies.

The special effects were the only merits of this trilogy. All the transforming, all the robots, all the explosions, all the stuff jumping off the screen. Another Fact: The 3D is "DARKER of the Moon". We sure love the action and the explosion but the climax is focused to Sam Witwicky's survival again, and the soldiers and Witwicky again and his new girlfriend and Witwicky then Patrick Dempsey(not spoilers dude) and Witwicky. It's all Witwicky! Yeah, there's Optimus and Bumblebee but mostly focused to Witwicky and the humans.

Saddest thing is, the scenes of Bumblebee were also moderated. He is the only Autobot in the series we know the most and loved but here he is now like Optimus and the rest of the Transformers. Why can't they just call these films "Sam and the Transformers" or "World Invasion: Chicago and Egypt and LA and other places where the Transformies went"? Sounds more credible than "Transformers". I'm not really trolling Shia LaBeouf but him as Witwicky is like playing the same roles all over again. I bet he love Michael Bay for giving him these hot chicks. Rosie Huntington-Whitely was only cast for her sexy body and giving Sam a backup. She doesn't improve Megan Fox's Mikaela Beans.

Transformers is supposed to be about the Transformers. But it has more humans, and Witwicky, and Cameos and Witwicky. I think Michael Bay is getting lazy. He's not taking this movie so seriously and the movie ends too quickly and he throws a lot of humanity and celebrity cameos in his excessive runtime. By the way this movie is called "Transformers" not "Human Celebrities". Well, Bay made a grave mistake.
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1/10
A good demonstration on how to destroy a movie.
Acks King15 July 2011
What an Awful display of commercialized cinema, playing to the tunes of all the wrong stereotypes. A horrible waste of time, effort and money, specially since a lot of effort must have gone into the graphics only to produce this distasteful parody of sorts. This is what you get when you make a movie without passion or substance. Anyway, I intended to ask this question since the first part. What is the point of having a chick running around in these types of movies? Really, is it necessary to have some chick in skimpy clothes romancing around with metal crashing on metal in the background ? Unless off-course you wanted to woo schoolgirls in to watch the movie. My serious advise is, if you have to finish with watching the 3rd installment, rent it. That way you can fast forward through all those disgusting chick flick scenes and watch what you paid for.
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1/10
Autobots roll out! And never return please.
steve_oooh6 July 2011
Warning: Spoilers
This film has no redeemable features what so ever, the few good scenes are overshadowed by the horror. Let me say I'm a Transformers fan & liked the first two movies & expected this to be similar to them, well it isn't.

Michael Bay has single handedly destroyed all credibility the Transformers had & that man should never be allowed to make another movie. I wasn't a Michael Bay critic before seeing this film but now hate the man for ruining something I love.

What's worse is this movie will be deemed a critical box office success based on all the poor people who pay to see it and go away feeling like I do.

If I had wanted to watch a humans vs aliens/robots insert generic bad guy here then I would have watched one of those movies. No I payed to watch Transformers instead I got about 30 minutes in total scenes of Transformers & two hours plus of Michael Bay making American soldiers look cool and badass.

Transformers have been fighting a war for centuries, they are supposed to be hardened veterans instead they are used for comic relief & to make humans look cool with the ways they can kill some huge massively armoured and armed robots.

The characters are all morons and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is the most annoying talentless person I have ever had to look at, just seeing her face on the screen in 3D no less made me angry and cringe at the same time. Also they shouldn't have called it Transformers it should have been called Optimus Prime because he's pretty much all you are going to see, the other Transformers are just thrown in as faceless, voiceless filler characters. The 3D is also terrible and pointless I have seen several movies in 3D recently and it was totally under used and wasn't even consistent not being used throughout the movie and the movie was about an hour to long, I prefer long movies but this one actually dragged along not going anywhere.

Sadly I could keep coming up with things I hated about this movie & very little I liked about it, this is the first time I have come away from a movie utterly disappointed & feeling ripped off. I went with my girlfriend & two friends, she liked the first two movies but wasn't a Transformers fan & she didn't like this movie, like me my two friends are life long fans & are utterly disgusted with the waste of space this film was. I am a very disgruntled fan who going into the movie ignored the negative comments and was very open about what I was going to see, what I saw was utter disappointment.
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6/10
A visual spectacle that's still lacking that extra spark
chrismsawin28 June 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Transformers: Dark of the Moon managed to shoot itself in the foot before it was even released and it wasn't just one happy accident out on the job. It got to the point where it seemed like they took a semi-automatic pistol and unloaded an entire round of bullets into this metaphorical foot. Between Megan Fox getting fired, Shia LaBeouf claiming that the film has "a lot of human death," that this was their "best film to date," and that "you don't breathe" during the action-packed last hour of the movie, and apparently Steven Spielberg claiming this is the best use of 3D to date even trumping Avatar, Dark of the Moon had a lot of hype to live up to and a lot to make up for after the travesty that was Revenge of the Fallen. While it does fall victim to a few famous Bay-isms a handful of times, Transformers: Dark of the Moon will still be the movie king of the summer.

When it comes to the writing, this is probably the best written Transformers film to date. Jokes actually feel like they're almost humorous while irritating characters don't receive much screen time. In the very least, it's at least a definite improvement over Revenge of the Fallen in that aspect. Some of the dialogue is really atrocious. At the beginning of the movie, we have this rather stunning scene of Cybertron at war that bleeds into the moon landing of 1969. The whole thing is put together surprisingly well as actual footage and movie magic almost make Sentinel Prime and The Ark crashing on the moon feel genuine. That sucks you in rather effortlessly, but it's ruined after we jump to a scene with Carly(Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) waking up Sam (Shia LaBeouf) talking about a lucky bunny. There was news of Michael Bay claiming he may not work with Shia LaBeouf again since he's become like a cranky, old man on set and that seems to translate on screen. Sam is pretty whiny this time around and complains a lot. Him yelling so much in Dark of the Moon is actually pretty entertaining, but that's probably because he mixes it up a bit and doesn't just shout, "OPTIMUS!" over and over again for two and a half hours.

The special effects in this movie are pretty much unparalleled compared to anything else you've seen before. There are certain scenes that seem like Michael Bay returned to an idea from one of the previous two movies to do it again this time around and do it bigger and with better camera positioning; almost as if he was like, "THIS is what I meant for it to look like." The prime example is the freeway scene where the decepticons are trying to get to Sentinel Prime. There seems to be this "epic" freeway sequence in most Michael Bay movies; Bad Boys II, The Island, and at least one of the last two Transformers movies. This one seems to take it to the next level though. The slow-motion effect continually used throughout the movie will blow your mind as it gives you a moment to digest this explosive spectacle you've just witnessed. The movie is worth seeing for the last hour alone. That's where the insanity kicks into high gear. The last hour is as captivating as Shia LaBeouf claimed it would be mostly because it's just nonstop giant robot destructive mayhem that entire time, which is pretty much the only thing you want to see in a movie like this.

Dark of the Moon may be a bit darker than you're expecting if you haven't kept up with all the news revolving around the movie. New characters that are introduced die, main characters die, and there is a countless number of humans that die. The movie makes a statement; this is the biggest threat they have or ever will face. With Bay and LaBeouf exiting the franchise, we can only speculate that this was meant as finality. Other than the obvious gripes about a Michael Bay movie, some things might not sit well with you. The most obvious one being how wishy washy Sentinel Prime is. Is he a good guy? Is he a bad guy? Does Sentinel Prime even know which side he's on? A quick sidenote, Star Trek fans pay close attention to Sentinel Prime's dialogue. It also felt like Optimus spent a good hour tied up away from the action. So he killed off the villain in the last movie in three minutes and spent a good portion of this movie just hanging around. Megatron is easily manipulated and the Nascar autobot additions are pretty pointless. There are times throughout the movie where you can pretty much figure out who's going to die and who's going to make it. What the decepticons will gain through this whole thing isn't exactly made clear either. The rebirth of Cybertron would probably be nice, but Megatron seemed perfectly content on making Earth his new kingdom in the past two movies. Turns out he just had this whole thing on the backburner this whole time?

Transformers: Dark of the Moon is easily the best written movie of the Transformers franchise and features some of the most mindblowing special effects to hit a 3D movie screen. While it is an upgrade over Revenge of the Fallen, it isn't as entertaining as the first movie. Dark of the Moon falls victim to lame dialogue and weak story points at times, but it will more than likely go unnoticed by the average moviegoer as the last hour tries to compensate any weaknesses the movie may have with extravagant and extremely impressive special effects littered amongst destructive and catastrophic chaos. Dark of the Moon hasn't set out to make new fans, but it will excite and satisfy the people who already are.
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1/10
Worse than the holocaust
Phil Harrison9 July 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Michael Bay should be tried along side Muammar Gaddafi for crimes against humanity, his latest film is a travesty of international proportions. Re-broadcasting of any of his films should be banned under the Geneva convention, in fact the only difference between a Michael Bay film and Hitler's reign is that Bay's films will have a more profoundly negative impact on society.

The film starts out just as any other Bay film with a pointless mix of thoughtless dialog and meaningless characters. Witwicky (LaBeouf) is out being the unimaginable world celebrity that he would be saving the world 2 times has no job and for some unbeknown reason is now in a relationship with a new love interest Carly (last name is not apparent anywhere in the film). The character of Megan Fox is completely dismissed from the entire film with a single sentence despite it being the supposed focal point of the entire storytelling behind the first 2 films. Her blatant departure from the franchise is not even attempted to be cleverly masked and immediately gives you a bad feeling of what's to come. The fact that Michael Bay is comfortable with creating deep plot holes, detached storytelling and single dimensional fill in characters over a petty feud with a mildly attractive wan-a-be actress speaks volumes about his creative and artistic merit, however than itself is not even close to the overwhelming tripe that is Transformers 3 in its own respect.

Soon it is revealed through a convoluted multi-generational web of increasingly ridiculous government cover-ups that there is an alien craft on the dark side of the moon. Somehow despite this craft being the single greatest discovery in human history it is revealed that single NASA accountant smudged cost figures to point where it was deemed "infeasible" to return to the lunar surface. Considering the potential benefits to the US government and much less the entire Human Race its unlikely that anyone; not even the accountants in charge of giving Michael Bay 300 million to make this film could have convinced the government to stay away for 50 plus years.

The next question of course is why. Why would an accountant want to keep humanity away from this extraterritorial discovery? Simple; and something Michael Bay is very well rehearsed in -- personal greed. Somehow or another the Decipticon's revealed themselves to this single person and convinced him that they would take over the entire world with or without his help this responsibility is then handed down to Dylan the son of the mystery architect of human destruction.

By this point the film's true plot is revealed and the fight is on yet again. The Decipticons and Optimus Prime's superior, sentinel prime have devised a plan to inhabit earth for themselves and use humans as slave to rebuilds their world. This seems somewhat pointless when they are the respective leaders of the two sides and a truce on their OWN planet would have made much more sense. However that doesn't even pale in contrast to the robot race and the absolutely comparatively pathetic strength of human engineering. This is akin to human's inhabiting an asteroid trillions of light years away over a war on earth and using ants as slaves to build their new homes.

After the Autobots fake their extradition to gain an element of surprise they waste in the first 20 seconds of their return a single five by point-five meter rod is controlling the transitioning of an entire alien solar system through an inter-dimensional gateway with absolutely no gravitational effects on earth. Its destruction is the sole focus of one and half hours of completely mind numbingly pointless action sequences and over the top special effects.

The film ends with the same sappy sequence of unity and love in the face of horrific mass destruction of an entire city as the last 2 films and is exceedingly uninviting due to the previous 2 hours being nothing more than creative excuses to waste hundreds of millions of dollars on seriously injuring lowly paid extras, poorly executing slow motion 3D hero sequences and lining Tyrese Gibson's pockets.

All in all Transformers 3 is the worst film in the Trilogy and possibly the worst film ever created in its budget bracket. Michael Bay has spent too long inside his 500 million dollar Gulfstream 6 private jet to properly flesh out a movie plot or characters and has instead opted to blow sh*t up for almost 3 hours. This is a movie that will appeal to the same part of your brain that is activated by car accidents and terrorist attacks, it will leave you shocked, appalled and your trust and faith in humanity will be at an all time low once the soul crushingly horrible and inappropriate end credit music start rolling.
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8/10
A solid entry that, much like its female star, is nice to lack at but lacks real substance. Skip the first hour and its incredible.
Stevo Sheehy29 June 2011
After the critical back-lashing Revenge of the Fallen, Michael bay stated that the third and possibly final Transformers would take away everything that failed in the last movie and give the audience what it wanted. But has he learned his lessons? Yes and no. Gone are the racially insensitive robots, the incredibly messy and clumsy plotting and much of the dizzying, incomprehensible camera-work. What remains is the poor geeky humour and questionable performances from the leads. Shia Labeouf was very enjoyable in the first movie but here has gone into overdrive, and his character Sam Witwicky has become much less relatable and interesting. His home life in particular (of which the first half of the movie focuses) is getting irritating. His girlfriend problems and embarrassing parents boring and we really couldn't care that much about how he feels unappreciated for saving the world twice. Then there's Megan Fox's replacement: Rosie Huntington-Whitely. She can't act. At all. It wasn't expected that the former model would be that great but she really is poor.

The first hour of the film is much like Rosie. Nice to look at (especially in 3D) but lacking any substance at all. We are left with Ken Jeong doing his Hangover thing in a 12A film, and not being funny, just very annoying. And John Malkovich doing his thing but really just embarrassing himself. There are reams of exposition, while the plot is better than the last two films it is still handed out poorly. Bay won't let the action tell the story, it has to be action, break, story, break, action. The rest of the first hour is just CGI and Shia going mental while Rosie watches blankly.

But all of a sudden the supporting comic actors are dropped and Michael Bay does what he does best: Explosions and fighting. An impressive freeway chase leading into a fight a plot twist (yes a plot twist in a Transformers movie) and a death of a significant character. The whole film gets better from here. The plotting gets tighter, John Tuturro and Frances McDormand are given more screen-time (there were so many Coen favourites in this movie I was expecting John Goodman to be voicing an Autobot) and the action is dished out in spades. Whe the decepticons invade Chicago all hell breaks loose. And we are given fights, battles, explosions and collapsing buildings galore. Robots kick, punch and rip each other apart. And this is where the third dimension comes into play. This is definitely the best 3D experience since Avatar. Watch in awe as Optimus Prime tears chunks of metal out of other giant robots and chucks them at the screen while in the depths of the background, aerial battles ensue. It is breathtaking and a triumph for 3D, proving that it can be done properly and amaze the viewer.

If you went an hour late to the movie, and make sure it's a 3D screening, this would be a 5 star experience of pure entertainment. But as it stands it's still a solid closer for the trilogy, an improvement on Revenge of the fallen but not as good as the first.
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9/10
Top Class Film
jatinder37715 December 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Having watched this film I think Michael Bay definitely learnt from the mistake he made in ROTF. He cut out all of the stupid comedy e.g the twins.

He also made the overall plot a hell of a lot better, the way they linked in the moon landing to Transformers was fantastic I thought, and additionally the old footage they used was clever.

The action scenes were pumped up so much more, and I felt genuine sorrow when IronHide died, and BumbleBee was going to be executed. The background music composed by Steve Jablonsky was fantastic and never so more appreciated during the car chase scene when they are tyring to protect Sentinel.

People will criticise because it is a typical Hollywood block buster but if you want pure escapism then watch the film
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9/10
Fantastic
T1GER T1GER29 June 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Just been to see it at the odeon in Liverpool switch island in 3d, wow fantastic movie, i need to see it again to take it all in, full of action and a far better story that the previous one although i liked the second one, i was somewhat sad at the end to see a lot of decepticons killed off, but we all know they can be brought back to life. Don't miss this in 3d its one of the best i have seen so far.

its got lots of laughs and a few new autobots, although a lot of people did not like the twins in the last movie, i felt they should of been included in this one even if it was a small appearance.

Lets hope they don't stop there and bring us more of the transformers.
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4/10
It's Michael Bay: Explosions, CGI, sexy women, comic relief, explosions sunlight, romantic faith, explosions, CGI, explosions, CGI...
Bones Eijnar30 June 2011
Michael Bay's TRANSFORMERS franchise has become an enormous commercial success, and although the second installment received terrible reviews, it ain't gonna avoid people from rushing to see the third one. Now, it looks and feels exactly the other two films, in reality very little is changed upon so what we're given is a semi-mixed version of the first two, and that's sadly not a good thing. TRANSFORMERS 3 involves some spectacular CGI effects, and the more time director Bay shares with the robots not involved, the better the film is, which is kind of surprising given his experience. Megan Fox has been replaced by a high-heeled beauty which gives the teenage boys an alternate run for their money, and Shia LeBeouf in the leading part does a moderately good job, and as for the rest of the cast, it's not very much to say except that John Malkovich is funny in his scenes. The plot is as always very confusing and badly told, and the climax is long and noisy, which one can say is positive, though again - I felt tired at the end, being the film is very loud and way too long (a huge Michael Bay issue). It's way better than the second one, though not nearly as good as the first, so what we're stuck with is something in between.
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9/10
A Great Summer Movie
sotomichael8429 June 2011
Here's my problem with the critic reviews, they expect too much. If you come to see the movie expecting to be completely moved by what you've seen, then you've got another thing coming. This is a great movie for what it is, a summer action thriller. The story was good not great, and obviously, the special effects were perfect. Compared to the second installment, this is a BIG improvement. The second was just trying to be too funny, and the action was great, but it was just chaotic. In Dark of the Moon, Michael Bay and Steven Spielberg tuned down the comedy level and they put in a better structure for the action sequences. Now, there were still a lot of great laughs, and the special effects were at best they've ever been, if not better. my only problems were that I believe that the characters could have been better developed, but enough was done to get by, and the way it was put together was just a tad bit messy, but nothing too noticeable. DO NOT listen to what a bunch of hot-shot movie critics have to say, you really should never listen to these guys. Overall, this was an awesome, fun summer blockbuster. You will enjoy yourself, a lot.
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8/10
Why so much hate? this is really good!
dannywales934 December 2011
This is really good movie and yes it does have its flaws, but what movie does not? These films are more focused on CGI and action. The plot is smart and is not to hard to follow. I think all of the people are likable in this film. Even though i do miss Megan Fox. As the new actress who plays Carly adds nothing to the film, but like in most action movie, you need a bit of eye candy and a female lead. The action is amazing in my eyes. And the script is not as bad as people make out. But i think it suits the film. People slate this film for all reasons. But is a classic in its own ways. It is just a good fun film. If you want you want a serious film, go watch inception or the godfather. But if you let yourself get in to this film, you will have a blast. I would say its one of the best films of 2011.
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7/10
Secrets from the Apollo 11 moon mission.
Michael O'Keefe14 October 2011
Warning: Spoilers
This is the third of the Transformers trilogy from director Michael Bay. Even the highly publicized exit of Megan Fox can't hurt this action flick's appeal. Superior FX make for great watching even if you aren't a follower of this trilogy. Only a select few of the government and military knew of the extraordinary secrets the Apollo 11 astronauts brought back from the moon. The astronauts discovered the wreckage and remains of Sentinel Prime and shuttle him back to earth. That wasn't the only secret on the dark side of the moon. A new enemy makes its malevolence known and an interstellar war rages with the Autobots in full force to save mankind from the Decepticons. Leonard Nimoy provides the voice of Sentinel Prime. Sam Witwicky(Shia LaBeouf)returns as well Josh Duhamel as Lt. Colonel William Lennox. Sam's love interest is most aptly in the form of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley as Carly Miller. Wow! Also in the cast: Patrick Dempsey, John Turturro, Ravil Isyanov, Frances McDormand, John Malkovich and Tyrese Gibson. Also playing themselves are Buzz Aldrin, Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Morshower. Of course the real stars are the well developed Autobots and Decepticons. As long as there is money to be made, this franchise no doubt will continue.
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