Lafayette Reynolds : I pray to God you ain't the last motherfucker I meet before I die.
Royce : Come on, come on. What about you? You must've done all kinds of shit you regret.
Lafayette Reynolds : Well, I got in trouble with my boss once for punching out three stupid rednecks at the bar.
Royce : You regret that?
Lafayette Reynolds : [Faces him] Hell, no, you fucking deserved it.
Royce : [Bashful] Yeah. I'm sorry I hassled you about bein' gay. If it makes you feel any better, once when I was fifteen at Safety Patrol camp I let my bunkmate blow me.
Royce : [in the dungeon] I gotta plan. I'm bustin' us out!
Lafayette Reynolds : Don't be an idiot... Shhh.
Eric Northman : [coming down stairs] No. Shushing won't do any good, sweetheart. We hear everything. But since you made me come all the way down here, I oughta take out some of the garbage.
[kneeling in front of Royce]
Eric Northman : Royce Alan Williams, we have a few questions for you with regards to a fire which claims three of our kind.
Royce : No fucking way man! I don't know anything!
Eric Northman : [pulling Royce to his feet] Crimes against vampire are on the rise. We lost a sheriff just days ago. We seek answers.
Lafayette Reynolds : All the shit I done in my life - the drugs... the sex... the web site. I did it so my life wouldn't be a dead-end, and this is where I end up. Now what kind of punchline is that?
Royce : See, that's why we gotta talk - we gotta tell each other all the shit she we done; that way if one of us gets out, he can tell the world about both of us.
Royce : I just hope it's me!
Lafayette Reynolds : Whatever, if it make you feel any better, keep talking.
Royce : Alright, then when I was twenty, my cousin Rufus he was going out with this girl who claimed she could crush a beer can... with her tits. And, one night when we were alone, I asked he to show me. One beer can led to another, and before you knew it, she was crushing my head... with her tits. Rufus came home, and he was so mad, he threw me out the window; my hip shattered into a million pieces, and they replaced it, with... metal.
Royce : My ass is magnetic now.