The Asylum presents The Terminators, and a part of me deplores their most legally untenable title yet, I have to admire their audacity in taking a similar them to a popular franchise and attempting to circumvent the copyright laws by simply making the title plural. These are the plucky plagiarizers who were sued by the makers of "The Day The Earth Stood Still" for their movie "The Day The Earth Stopped," and won, so I'm guessing they're feeling lucky. One wonders the next endeavor from the Asylum will feature a cloned British spy, who will be known as "James Bonds." The basic premise is that mankind has an army of androids performing various tasks and oddjobs around the country. The robots revolt in unison around the country and begin uniformly attempting to kill every human being they can, by either pulling out various organs, impaling them with punches, or just shooting them with a gun. Sadly the robots (cheekily dubbed "TR4s") are mute throughout, which leaves one to imagine the horrible puns that could have been written for them ("I'll be coming back!" "Come with with me if you want to live . . .just kidding!" *blam!*).
All the androids are identical, which is understandable, but what I don't get is why every single one of them is wearing the exact same outfit. Some of these robots were working in shops, some were working on a space station, some were presumably dancing at a bachelorette party, yet they are all wearing slacks and a sleeveless shirt? The robots are played by an iron jawed, bodybuilder type (Paul Logan) who seems like his exclusive preparation was watching a lot of Arnold as the (actual) Terminator to determine how to run and fire a gun like a big-screen, killing machine, muscular, humanoid robot, which Arnold wrote the book on. I'm not saying its legible, but he definitely wrote the book.
We follow a small band of survivors from a little town outside of Los Angeles, robot holocaust, led by the town Sheriff (A Martinez — that's the actor's name "A Martinez", as apparently the Asylum could not afford a specific Martinez, but had to settle for a more generic brand).
I want to say I had an absolute blast watching the Terminators with friends last night, and for fun/bad movie lovers I highly recommend it.
Daniel J. Roos film.ispwn.com
