Veronica: [Looking at Zombie Angel in the pool] Quite stupid, ain't they?
Space: Not the brightest bunch... can't even get out the side...
Marky: Don't know they're dead...
Joplin: Good old British public...
Kelly: Yeah... you're right... you're all right; they're thick as shit. So as long as we're still breathing, we're smarter than them. And that's why we're gonna beat 'em.
[Kelly shoots the zombie Angel in the head]
Veronica: Right, then, focus.
Joplin: Er, yes, I'm trying to focus! Okay, I'm, I'm trying to visualise...
Veronica: Fuck that! Just make sure you pin his head down under that, cover his teeth!
Joplin: And what if he gets loose?
Veronica: Well do it right and he won't!
Joplin: Yeah, but *what* if he does?
Veronica: Well, then he'll probably kill us! What do you want me to say? Stop being a nine year old!
Pippa: Aw, my god! You're no gonnae be sick...?
Patrick: [Heads to the waste bin and begins to pull down his trousers] Nope...
Pippa: Aw no! You're no doing that in here! Aw no! It's horrible! Aw! I hate you! I hate you! God!
[Patrick defecates into the waste bin while Pippa cries]
Pippa: Aw! That's disgusting!
Patrick: Shut up!
Pippa: I hate you!
Patrick: Shut up!
Patrick: Just... shut up!
Patrick: Pass me a napkin... There's a napkin by, pass me that fucking napkin, NOW!
Pippa: Fuckin' take it!
[Patrick cleans himself up]
Pippa: I don't like this...
Patrick: Glad you applied?
Dennis: [Shoots Bob after he is bitten by a Zombie] I had to do that! There's nothing else you can do for a bite! You die, you come back as one of them! That's how it works and it works fucking fast!
Space: Alright! Just put that thing down!
Dennis: If you lot hadn't been pissing around in the first place! The advice was to stay indoors! Or don't you watch telly?
Kelly: Oven chips?
Marky: They're essential.
Kelly: So what if there's a power cut? You gonna eat them frozen?
Marky: Eh... if there's a power cut they'll defrost.
Kelly: What, and you'll eat them cold and mushy?
Marky: Wouldn't be the first time...
Veronica: [whilst showering naked while Joplin watches her through the one-sided mirrors] I know you're there, Joplin. I mean, you should've just asked me for a quick flash. 'Cos its the end of the world and I might of felt sorry for ya. But you didn't. Which is a shame. 'Cos what you're doing is a bit creepy, innit?
Joplin: Would you like a cup of tea?
Veronica: Alright, thanks...
Joplin: Sorry... is that "alright, thanks" as in you would like one, or, er, "I'm alright thanks, I wouldn't"?
Veronica: Second one!
Joplin: Sorry, is, is...
Veronica: I *don't* want one!
Bob: Have you got somewhere to hole up?
Space: Where'd you think?
Bob: What? The Big Brother house? 'Ere, is that... um... Veronica still there?
Bob: Oi, mate... she is *well* fit...
Bob: So what we gonna do with him, Den?
Dennis: Not made my mind up, yet, Bob...
Bob: Hang on, you're that, you're that fella off Big Brother, ain't ya? Yeah, na, na, it is, he's that sort of black one, y'know?
Dennis: I dunno, don't watch it.
Bob: Y'know you're shorter in real life?
Dennis: Well, he's on his knees, ain't he, Bob?
Marky: No way! No way! Check that out! I'm only on the front cover of Heat! "Rubbish in bed"? What the... "desperate fumble"...? What a loada... they don't half get a loada shit in that magazine, Heat! "Shit in bed"? I'm mint in bed! "Not as funny as he thinks"? I'm well funny!
Marky: Erm... don't mention that to anybody when we get back to the house...
Riq: Oh, good! It's the Big Brother Live Feed. They must of evacuated the studio...
Alex: [sarcastically] Hurrah!
Riq: My girlfriend works there!
Alex: On *that*?