Norman Reedus: Murphy MacManus
Murphy MacManus : You know, he was sort of a badass though, wasn't he?
Connor MacManus : Shades of Eastwood. Charlie Bronson.
Rocco : Duke Fucking Wayne!
Rocco : Men build things, then we die. It's in our fucking DNA! THAT'S WHAT WE DO!
Murphy MacManus : And when it all falls down?
Rocco : We build it right back up again.
Connor MacManus : But this time bigger. BETTER!
Rocco : Look! Look what we can do. Look how fuckin' beautiful we are. You think the men that built all this had it easy?
Murphy MacManus : Hard men!
Connor MacManus : Doing hard shit!
Rocco : and that gives me a hard on... But not in a gay way or anything like that.
Murphy MacManus : No, 'course not
Connor MacManus : Yeah it goes without sayin'
Rocco : I am so sick of all of this self help, twelve step, leftover hippie generation bullshit!
Connor MacManus : Now they don't want you to do anything, right? Just sit there. Don't drink.
Murphy MacManus : Don't smoke. Don't drive fast.
Rocco : Fuck it! Do it all I say! Do you think Duke Wayne spent all of his time talking about his feelings with a fuckin' therapist?
Connor MacManus : There's no fucking way he did!
Rocco : John Wayne died with five pounds of undigested red meat in his ass. Now that's a man! Real men hide their feelings. Why?
Rocco : Men do not cry. Men do not pout. Men jack you in the fuckin' jaw and say...
Detective Greenly : Thanks for comin' out.
Connor MacManus : [Grabs gun and points it at Romeo] And an awesome wailin' was heard throughout...
Murphy MacManus : And the terrible hand of the lord, struck upon the earth...
Connor MacManus : And as almighty God, created you... Now... He calleth you home!
Connor MacManus : [pause. Gun Clicks] Oops... Busy signal... We'll have to calleth back!
Murphy MacManus : [Brothers Laugh] Let's have a shot while we're waitin'!
Connor MacManus : I think he took a little piss!
Romeo : That shit was not funny!
Connor MacManus : Creative! It's a creative plan!
Murphy MacManus : It's ridiculous! Probably based on some stupid shit ya saw in a movie! And here I am AGAIN all tyin' myself up with ya stupid fuckin' rope! What is the deal with you and rope? Honestly!
Connor MacManus : It happens ta be a useful thing, now shut it!
Detective Duffy : You didn't get this from a movie, did you?
[Murphy stares at Connor]
Connor MacManus : The "Eiger Sanction" with Clint Eastwood! And it worked like a charm for him!
Murphy MacManus : I fuckin' knew!
Murphy MacManus : But how would anyone recognize us?
Connor MacManus : You don't remember those sketches on the news channel?
Murphy MacManus : Shit. That's right. Y'know, every time they show those composites on TV and then they catch the guy, it looks nothin' like him. But ours?
Connor MacManus : Just our luck. We get Leonardo fuckin' da Vinci as a sketch artist.
Murphy MacManus : Maybe we should dye our hair.
Connor MacManus : What?
Murphy MacManus : Yeah. These guys are always dyin' their hair. You know, like in 'The Fugitive.' It's covert and shit.
Connor MacManus : [Connor smirks privately] What color would you dye it?
Murphy MacManus : I don't know... lighter, I guess.
Connor MacManus : Y'mean... blonde?
Murphy MacManus : I didn't say that!
Connor MacManus : California, surfer boy, gay, gay, gay blonde?
Murphy MacManus : I'm warnin' ya!
Connor MacManus : Just keep your hands off my ass back there and, "Stay gold, Pony Boy."
[Connor laughs heartily]
Murphy MacManus : Fuck you!
[Connor stabs the ink pen into his brother's shoulder]
Connor MacManus : AAAAAAH!
[Connor bolts up, knocking over the pot. Hot water and pennies spread across the floor. Connor pulls the pen out]
Connor MacManus : You Motherfucker!
Murphy MacManus : Serves ya right!
Gangster at bar : "Erin go Braugh". What the fuck does that mean?
Murphy MacManus : It's Irish for "you're fucked".
Murphy MacManus : I thought you said your car was 'inconspicuous'?
Romeo : Yeah, well I don't like words with 'spic' right in the middle. Besides, it is where I live.
Murphy MacManus : Yeah, where's that Margaritaville?
Romeo : Hey, I hail from a colorful people. Besides, you wouldn't know style if it pitched a tent in your ass.
Murphy MacManus : [introducing Romeo to Doc] This is our Mexican.
Connor MacManus : Then we skin out. We go to Doc's for a shot of Irish. We're home in time for tacos.
Connor MacManus : That's what we do.
Murphy MacManus : [looks at Connor doubtingly]
Connor MacManus : What?
Murphy MacManus : It's just this plan.
Connor MacManus : What the fucks wrong with the plan?
Murphy MacManus : It's, it's
Romeo : It's genius! I can even drive an F-lift man. Got my class D license and everything.
Connor MacManus : That's the fucking spirit!
Romeo : I'm gonna need a gun.
Romeo : The fuck man, I'm in on this shit. I'm workin here.
Connor MacManus : Fuck's sake. Know what your gonna do? You're gonna consider yourself a fucking pledge 'til we tell you different.
Murphy MacManus : [laughs]
Romeo : Can I consider myself your girlfriend too?
Connor MacManus : That's what you get. Is there a fucking problem?
Romeo : It's fine!
Connor MacManus : I'm fucking watching you. You understand me. You stow that shit.
Murphy MacManus : Don't you worry, Rome, shit like this that builds character.
Romeo : Yeah, character of a little bitch.
Murphy MacManus : Now that's just unprofessional.
Murphy MacManus : [from trailer] That was one of the finest examples of spiritual guidance I've ever had the good fortune to witness.