Eliot Spencer: [to meth dealer] Hey. What smells like crank and screams like a girl?
[kicks his leg; dealer screams]
Eliot Spencer: Right answer.
Alec Hardison: [inventing bank robber's demands] Now look, they have a list of demands. First off they want 12 large pizzas, one cheese, one Hawaiian extra pineapple, 2 pepperoni black olives, 2 meat lovers. Seriously, nobody's writing this down? Seriously? One Triple-Shot Half-Caff Moca Latte. Three of the latest copies of Hall & Oates CD. I know right, exciting stuff, I didn't know they were still coming out with a new one either. Um, we're gonna need some steaks people and a grill. Okay they need your overalls, I don't know why. We need some Kibbles 'n Bits. We need a Etch-A-Sketch, someone likes to squiggle. Possibly could we get some stuffed bears... Are we good? Let's go people.
Nathan Ford: So pizza boxes huh?
Alec Hardison: Yeah, I know, I know, you could have done better.
Nathan Ford: No, no, I couldn't have...
Parker: Sometimes bad guys are the only good guys you get.
Nathan Ford: Parker, have you ever robbed a bank that's being robbed before?
Parker: There's a first time for everything.
Nathan Ford: [in back of ambulance] This is all very heart warming, but can we save it until after the morphine drip...
Derrick Clark: Why should I trust you? I don't know who you are.
Sophie Devereaux: I am a thief.
Derrick Clark: Okay, I'm not sure what to do with that.
Alec Hardison: Woah, what's going on?
Sherrif Hastings: Cut power to the bank. Standard operating procedure.
Alec Hardison: Stand-It's standard? Where you getting that bull hockey from, son?
Sherrif Hastings: Deputy Arnold. He took a seminar in crisis management last year.
Deputy Arnold: It was an online seminar. We got certificates.
Alec Hardison: Certificates? Magic kits come with certificates. Does that make it cool for kids to saw their parents in half?
Frank: Help you with anything today, your Honor?
Judge Roy: Yeah Fred, her phone number?
Frank: It's Frank. And she's 19 sir.
Judge Roy: Too bad. She got a younger sister?