- Ari Gold: I was involved in some illegal street racing.
- Lloyd: Ooh, sexy.
- Ari Gold: With Adam Davies.
- Lloyd: Eww, gross.
- Ari Gold: Yeah, and I lost, so I have to give him a hundred bucks.
- Lloyd: Oh, fuck Adam Davies. I'd like to see him come here and try and collect.
- Ari Gold: Well, my confidence grows tenfold knowing that you have my back, Lloyd, but I don't welch. So, here is a hundred dollars; please put it in a brown paper bag along with a nice big pile of shit, and send it over there.
- Lloyd: Excuse me...
- Ari Gold: Human shit, Lloyd. Right now.
- Lloyd: That is really disgusting, Arl.
- Ari Gold: No, really disgusting is going to be the American Psycho-style dismemberment I am going to perform on you if you don't do that right fucking now.
- [Ari's wife and kids are leading Ari outside to surprise him with a Ferari]
- Mrs. Ari: Okay, stop now. Open your eyes.
- Ari Gold: Fuck me!
- Jonah Gold: Daddy!
- Ari Gold: I'm sorry, buddy. I'm sorry, but holy sh...
- Mrs. Ari: Ari!
- Ari Gold: Like the great philosopher Sun Tzu said, "when you're done fucking your enemies, fuck 'em some more"!
- [after Adam Davies posted nude photos of Mrs. Ari online]
- Ari Gold: A game's a game, but that is the mother of my children, so apologize, or I will kick your ass in front of your entire deadbeat agency.
- [smacks Davies in the face]
- Ari Gold: That is what we call a bitch slap - a bitch slap for a bitch. What do you say we go outside and finish it off, huh?
- Adam Davies: You are going down for this, Ari.
- Ari Gold: I don't really care. Now, you apologize for what you did, or I'm going to knock you the fuck out right here and right now.
- [Davies hesitates]
- Ari Gold: I am going to count to three. One...
- Adam Davies: [quietly] I apologize.
- Ari Gold: I can't hear you.
- Adam Davies: I said... I'm sorry.
- Ari Gold: ...Nice seeing everybody again!
- [walks out proudly]
- Vincent Chase: Well, I'm very happy to be here with Candace on this very special occasion.
- Candace Levine: I know a way you can make it more special, Vincent.
- Mrs. Levine: Candace, don't be a whore.