2 Guns (2013)
Bobby: You never heard the saying, never rob a bank across from a diner with the best donuts in three counties?
[Bobby and Stig have each other in a sleeper hold]
Bobby: All right, all right! On the count of three, we'll let each other go.
Stig: All right.
Bobby: One, two, three.
Stig: Now you're making me not be able to trust you.
Bobby: I guess we can both talk to him at the same time.
Stig: What, like we're working together?
Bobby: No, not like we're working together.
Stig: [excitedly] Yeah!
Bobby: No, like we're working in the same, uh vicinity.
Bobby: In the same... area code.
Bobby: The same county.
Stig: [to Bobby] You're my people and we have a code. You fight for the guy that's fighting next to you.
Bobby: [to waitress] I'm very sorry about my friend. He was kicked in the head as a child.
Bobby: So, partner, what's your plan?
Stig: I got a plan. I mean, I'm capable of coming up with a plan.
Bobby: I'm not saying you're not capable. I'm just saying you haven't told me. What is it?
Stig: I'm working on it!
Stig: Screw it.
[Stig floors it sending the cops after them]
Bobby: That was your plan?
Stig: No one expected it! You should have seen your face!
Stig: You know, for a guy who just blew up $43 million, all of a sudden you are a very generous tipper.
Bobby: Who said I blew up $43 million?
Stig: What *are* you saying?
Bobby: I'm not saying anything. What are you hearing?
Stig: I'm hearing something. You're saying something.
Bobby: Well, if you're hearing it, it's only because you're hearing it, not 'cause I'm saying it.
Stig: How much did you keep? Two million? That's like one each.
Bobby: Oh so now you get half?
Stig: Well, I shot half the guys.
Stig: Two million?
Bank Manager: I'm innocent.
Earl: Nobody's innocent, friend. There just the guilty, the ignorant, and the unlucky.
Earl: [holding guns on DEA commander] Your man Bobby Trench stole 43 million of our dollars. We'd like it back. Because it's our money. Because it's a blatant act of disrespect. And because it's our money.
Earl: You're still a drug dealer. And I'm still the government of the United States. It's a free market, Manny. Not a free world.
Stig: It's not very sporting, man. At least give the chickens a chance to shoot back.
Stig: Just because you put your finger in your belly button and brown shit comes out don't mean it's your asshole.
Officer Dave: Who is that guy?
FBI Agent: You've heard of the hidden hand of God? Well, that's God's son of a bitch.
Admiral Tuwey: When the hand has gangrene, you chop it off to save the body. You don't keep the pinkie around just because it "meant well".
Bobby: Did you just wink at him?
Stig: I did just winked at him 'cause he's my bitch now!
Earl: You ever play Russian roulette?
[as he removes all but one bullet]
Earl: Thing is, most people put the gun to the temple. Well, that's just stupid. You blow a man's head off 'fore he's had a chance to tell you what you wanna know.
Bobby: Mess up your suit, too.
Bobby: If Papi knew we were even talkin' about rippin' off Tres Cruces it would be **our** heads in that bag next to the potato salad.
Stig: No way. Our two heads would never fit in a bag that small.