Trama

Danielle returns to Wisteria Lane, and faces psychological warfare from Bree; Susan tries to protect her son, MJ, from a bully; Gabrielle tries to deal with cutting costs; Lynette continues to deal with Tom's decision of curing his midlife crisis by starting up a garage band with Dave; Karen and Katherine continue to investigate Dave.—Moviedude1

"Desperate Housewives" - "Kids Ain't Like Everybody Else" - October 12, 2008

Mary Alice tells us that 6-year-old Benjamin Katz - who we see in a car seat- has had a very strange upbringing as we watch him get fed by Bree as Danielle hovers in the background, see his point of view as Orson is taken away in handcuffs, and watch Danielle take Benjamin himself away. Danielle has brought him for a weekend visit and as they pull up Orson warns Bree to refrain from criticism since they had to extend so many olive branches to see him. This is hard as Danielle gets out in a hippie get up. She introduces her husband Leo. Benjamin isn't sure he remembers Orson. Orson forges ahead saying they are taking him to the circus this weekend if it's alright with his mom. Benjamin, calling her Danielle, asks if he can go. She says yes and Bree freaks at the child calling his mother by her first name. She tells Danielle she will not stand for being called by her first name. Danielle assures her that she's told her son to call Bree Granny.

On the playground we see a variety of kids tortured by bullies, including MJ Delfino as Mary Alice tells us not every child wants to run home and tell mommy. He goes home and it takes Susan - who is preoccupied with a grey hair- a moment to notice his scraped chin and ripped shirt. She wonders which kid did this to him but MJ wants to talk to his dad about it. Susan says they'll call him.

Gaby and Carlos are haggling over the price of Gaby's sports car with a couple of potential buyers. Carlos eventually knocks four grand off the price. Gaby is sad since the car is the last thing they own that says "I'm better than you." Carlos points out that they can no longer afford to be better than anyone else. When Gaby learns that the car won't even be for the well-heeled couple but their nanny she winces but makes the deal.

McCluskey visits Katherine who has yet to dig up anything on Dave Williams during her Internet search, mostly owing to his common name and lack of details on his life. Dave rides by on his bike and asks if Katherine's sprinklers are working now. They are and she tells McCluskey she feels bad looking for dirt on him since he seems so nice. McCluskey says she knows in her bones that he's up to something and that no one on Wisteria Lane has to know, but when they do, they'll thank them.

Dave rides up to Tom who's cleaning out the garage on the directive of Lynette. Dave brags about his 65" flat screen and invites Tom over to watch the playoffs. As whips crack in the background Tom begs off saying he has too much to do. Lynette comes out and nags at him about his piles - tossing/keeping- noting that the "keep" pile has things he will never use like mountain climbing equipment, "Learn German" tapes, and an "Ab-Tastic!" She tells him to keep at it. Meanwhile Dave has opened a guitar case and laments that Tom is tossing his bass guitar. Tom says he and Mike used to jam but he has little use for it now. Dave says that since he plays drums maybe he and Tom can jam. Tom is psyched.

Katherine and McCluskey take Edie to lunch at the Scavo's pizzeria. Katherine tells McCluskey not to grill Edie or she'll be suspicious. Edie arrives and McCluskey immediately asks where Dave was born. When Edie says "somewhere in the midwest." McCluskey is amazed Edie doesn't know where Dave grew up or where he went to college. Edie gets uncomfortable and excuses herself.

Carlos and Gaby are looking at Andrew Van De Kamp's old beater. He gives full disclosure: "it's a piece of crap." Gaby tries to get him to lower the price or she's walking. Andrew lets her. She comes back trying to haggle some more. He declines. They buy it.

Benjamin and Orson play checkers while Bree serves Danielle and Leo some drinks. She wants to make something for their coming home party, something that goes with beef tenderloin. Turns out their vegetarians. Bree is worried her "nutty, liberal politics" will interfere with Benjamin's nutrition. Danielle assures her that with cheese, beans, and tofu Benjamin's protein count is right as rain and also, meat is murder. Bree worries he'll be teased when pulling tofu out his lunchbox. Also not a problem since Danielle is home schooling him. Bree nearly chokes. Bree is worried that soon Benjamin will overtake Danielle intellectually. Orson warns Bree. Danielle says it's fine, she's his mother and she doesn't care what Bree thinks and by the by, seven years from next Saturday? Benjamin's bar mitzvah. Leo looks stricken, Benjamin shrugs his shoulders.

We hear bass coming from a garage. Lynette walks in on Dave and Tom "jamming." Dave says Tom is really good. Tom is excited, Mike plays guitar, Orson plays keyboards and they're going to start a garage band! He's already booking club gigs in his mind as Lynette, unsurprisingly, tries to bring the whole affair to a screeching halt by reminding him of his busy schedule of restaurant running, husbanding, and parenting. As she walks away, also insulting his abilities, Tom puts his foot down and says he's not hurting anyone and he will play if he wants and asks her to leave their "rehearsal space" and lights into "Smoke on the Water" to help shoo her out.

Gaby is driving Andrew's piece of crap car with the girls warring in the backseat when the car craps out, smoke pouring from the engine. She goes to confront Andrew and tells him that her mechanic says the radiator is shot. He is all "oh that, yeah" and tells her to use the jug of water in the trunk, and also avoid hills and to stay in the shade. She says she can't avoid gravity and the sun and that he's paying for the radiator to be fixed. He says he told her it was a piece of crap and it's now Gaby's car and her problem. She says she wants to talk to Bree.

Mike finishes his visit with MJ and tells Susan that the boy won't tell him who's picking on him but he wants to know how to fight. Susan says at 5 he's too young to fight. Mike says every boy has to learn how to throw a punch eventually. Jackson, who has been listening in the background, tells him to teach him capoeira - a Brazilian martial art that incorporate dance moves. Mike says "yeah 'cuz there's nothing scarier than a guy coming at you with jazz hands." Hee. Jackson say there's more nuance to it than that and he and Mike start jokingly fighting with Jackson busting his fluid Brazilian moves. Susan says "boys not in the house" as she watches MJ play outside and watches Juanita push him down. Susan runs out and asks if that's the bully. Susan says Juanita's in for a surprise since daddy is going to turn MJ into a killing machine. Mike, who has also come out, pulls Susan aside and says he can't teach MJ to hit a girl. Susan counters that Juanita's not just any girl. Mike says no. Jackson agrees. Susan calls them wusses and says she'll handle it herself.

She marches over to Gaby and tells her what she saw and says it's not the first time. Gaby apologizes and says she'll talk to her and says no one will hear from her that MJ is getting beat up by a girl. Susan scoffs and defensively Gaby asks if Susan is saying Juanita is fat for her age. Susan's all, "Juanita's fat for your age." Gaby calls MJ a wussy.

At the playground Bree is looking at old pictures on a bench as Benjamin runs over to look. Bree shows him pictures of Danielle eating hot dogs. Benjamin can't believe it. Bree feeds him a line that hot dogs are what made Danielle big and strong and now she doesn't need them anymore. Benjamin wonders why Danielle doesn't want him to be big and strong. Bree muses that perhaps it's because she's afraid he'll leave home and go play for the Red Sox. (Shout out to Massachusetts native Marcia Cross' hometown team!) But, Benjamin points out that that's exactly what he wants to do. Naturally, the answer to this is to undermine her daughter's values and feed him a hot dog and makes him promise not to tell Mommy. .He says okay and digs in, saying it's like tofu, only better. She agrees.

The garage brand practices, still just Dave and Tom, and Lynette seethes. Later, as she works in the garage Penny runs in and accidentally knocks over Tom's bass. Lynette gets an idea. She lays the bass down and puts a doll by it. When Tom comes home he runs over it and is pissed... at Penny. (It was a $1600 bass). Lynette lets him go yell at her.

MJ is running off to play outside and Susan gives him a whistle to blow if Juanita comes by. She goes off to dye her roots and the whistle blows. Funnily, Juanita is blowing it. Susan goes running, hair goop and all. Juanita pushed him down and took it when he wouldn't give it to her. Susan lectures that Juanita wouldn't like that if someone did it to her. Juanita says she wouldn't care and she's not a crybaby like MJ. Predictably, Susan pushes her. Predictably, Gaby sees it from her porch. Susan helps Juanita up and apologizes saying she was just trying to make a point. But Gaby runs over in a huff, Susan apologizes and explains she was trying to teach her what Gaby should've. Gaby says she was too busy trying to explain why MJ doesn't wear a dress like all the other little girls. (Would really good friends, like they are supposed to be, honestly act this way??) Susan tries to walk away but not before Gaby pushes Susan. Susan says she's going to take the high road and Gaby should do the same. Gaby criticizes her grey hair and they start to wrestle on the lawn just as Edie drives by, and murmurs under her breath "and they call me white trash." (Hee. I love Joe Keenan, who wrote this episode and many episodes of "Frasier.")

Dave visits Lynette and has arrived with a new bass. Lynette says they can't accept it. Dave says it's mostly selfish since he was having so much fun. Lynette suggests skateboarding with Orson. Dave tries to convince Lynette that Tom needs to have fun too. She wonders how Dave knows what Tom needs. He explains that this "midlife crisis" of Tom's is about his fear of mortality. He points out that some guys do bad things when this midlife crisis hits but playing in a garage band is pretty mild. So Lynette skeptically asks if Dave is now going to save her marriage by giving Tom a bass. Crafty Dave hands her the bass and says "no, you are." And Lynette falls for it.

The Danielle-Leo coming home party is in full swing. Benjamin and Orson are playing on the stairs while Leo exposits to the assembled- Danielle, Bree, Katherine, McCluskey, Dave, and Edie- that he's an environmental lawyer at the EPA. Katherine asks where Leo went to school. Cornell. Katherine claims she's jealous and then pivots to Dave. He says Cornell wasn't in the cards for him either. McCluskey asks where he did go. After listening to Leo, Dave says he'd be embarrassed to name his alma mater and he pivots back to Leo asking after the EPA and global warming. This neat little maneuver is not lost on Edie and she insists on knowing where he went. He admits he didn't go saying he took a job out of high school because his family was having a hard time and gets all weepy and mean saying he's always been embarrassed about not having a degree especially when he's hanging with people who do and wonders if there's anything else she'd like to quiz him about in public, his childhood stutter? His dad's drinking problems? Edie is, of course, chagrined, but in an Edie-like way.

Susan comes to apologize to Gaby, with a bottle of vodka. Susan complains about how MJ goes to Mike for help and how she feels bad that Mike isn't always there. Gaby says Mike's a great dad and reassures Susan she's doing the best she can. As consolation she offers her own feelings of inadequacy even with a full-time, hands-on dad in the house. Gaby says she was secretly kinda glad when she found out Juanita was a bully because she doesn't want her kids to be the victims. Since Gaby is the strongest person Susan knows she doesn't think that will be possible. Gaby admits to not feeling so strong anymore without her looks and wealth to buck her up. They drink and bond. Susan says they should rumble all the time.

At the dinner party- why weren't Susan and Gaby invited?- Benjamin pukes on the rug just as dinner -mushroom risotto- is served. Danielle looks at the vomit and sees meat and freaks out. Benjamin won't tell. Danielle can't believe Bree gave him meat AND told him to lie. Bree confesses about the hot dog and adds he liked it so much he asked for another. She admits the second one was a mistake. Danielle gathers up Benjamin and says they're leaving in the morning. Orson is also mad disbelieving that Bree ruined everything in one day. Bree says it's hard since she can't stand the "mistakes" Danielle is making. Orson says what's hard for him is the fact that when he left for prison he had a son and when he came back, he didn't. He thinks that's her fault. Bree says she tried to fight but Danielle is his mother and that Leo is a lawyer. Orson says she should have fought harder. Bree in a quiet, tearful rage says she was on her knees sobbing and Danielle ripped Benjamin from her arms and Orson, who wasn't there, has no right to say that to her.

In their own bedroom Dave is mad that Edie blindsided him. Edie apologizes but blames McCluskey saying it was her that wondered why Edie didn't know more about Dave and she's sorry she let McCluskey get to her. Dave smiles and says it's okay, now he understands. Immediately scheming he says it's sad and that she and the others probably don't notice since they're so close to her but McCluskey's behavior reminds him of the early stages of his own grandmother's dementia. He says his poor grandma started getting paranoid thinking that people were breaking into her house, he hopes that doesn't happen to McCluskey.

Andrew is buffing his new red sports car when Gaby drives up and demands her $300. He says no deal and says she gained a valuable lesson: buyer beware. She offers him one and almost rear-ends his new car. Next time, she's really doing it unless he pays her. He goes to get his checkbook. She prefers cash.

As we see Dave and Edie ride off on bikes Mary Alice talks about bullies again and that the playground isn't the only place to find them that everywhere are people unaware or unconcerned of the pain they inflict. "It might be a neighbor preying on the suspicion of her friend" -as we see Edie shine McCluskey as she rides by; "Or a daughter punishing the choices of her mother"-as Danielle glares at Bree from the car; "Or a housewife seeking justice from the man who sold her a car"-as we see Gaby count Andrew's money. There are bullies everywhere says Mary Alice and the worst are the ones who take advantage of you without you ever knowing what they've done-as we see Lynette give a happy Tom his new bass as Dave rides by with a smile.