Holmes & Watson (2018) Poster

Will Ferrell: Sherlock Holmes



  • Dr. Grace Hart : Shall we begin the autopsy? Dr. Grace Hart.

    Watson : A woman doctor?

    Holmes : Impossible. Fortunately we have a *real* doctor here.

    Watson : Would you like some heroin?

  • Holmes : A bit of morning cocaine always helps the brain.

  • Watson : [referring to Holmes being sick at morgue]  Are you sure you wouldn't rather wait here because last time

    [gestures vomiting and diarrhea] 

    Holmes : I told you, that was merely a bout of stomach influenza

    Watson : Yes, but the time before that?

    Holmes : Bad clams.

    Watson : And before that?

    Holmes : I shook hands with a prostitute.

  • Watson : I am sorry... You are saying Grace is the killer?

    Holmes : Of course she is not the killer, she is an American! She should've used a gun!

  • Watson : What a perfect day for a picnic at London's greatest spectacle, the Anglo-American Exhibition, a celebration of that special relationship between our nation and yours.

    Dr. Grace Hart : Yes, such a special relationship between these two nations. Although, I could never live in a country with an unelected ruler, like the Queen.

    Watson : [scoffs]  Whyever not?

    Dr. Grace Hart : In America we have democracy. Our president is a person our people have all chosen, an assurance that only the finest and most qualified man will lead, not a wealthy tyrant who cares for nothing but himself.

    Watson : But you have the electoral college, which surely would prevent some trumped-up charlatan from gaining power.

    Dr. Grace Hart : Not always, unfortunately.

    Holmes : It would be great to have a strong businessman.

    Watson : But a showman as well. I love a good show.

    Holmes : America. We gave you your freedom and now look what you've done with it.

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