This Is the End (2013) Poster

Jonah Hill: Jonah Hill



  • Jonah Hill : Dear God, it's me, Jonah Hill... from Moneyball.

  • Jay Baruchel : I say unto the... the power of Christ compels you!

    Possessed Jonah Hill : Oh, does it? Does it compel me?

    Jay Baruchel : The power of Christ compels you!

    Possessed Jonah Hill : Does it, Jay?

    Jay Baruchel : The power of Christ compels you!

    Possessed Jonah Hill : Is the power of Christ compelling me? Is that what's happening?

    Jay Baruchel : The power of Christ compels you!

    Possessed Jonah Hill : Guess what? It's not that compelling.

  • Jonah Hill : A huge earthquake happens, who do they rescue first? Actors. They'll rescue Clooney, Sandra Bullock, me. If there's room, you guys will come.

  • Jonah Hill : So what have you guys been doing?

    Seth Rogen : Oh we just hung out all day.

    Jay Baruchel : Ate a bunch of dirty burgers, smoked about a fucking pound of weed, and played a bunch of video games.

    Jonah Hill : Weed is tight, weed is tight. That's awesome.

    Jay Baruchel : It's like the golfing sequence in Navy Seals.

    Jonah Hill : Sick reference though bro.

    Jay Baruchel : Oh thanks bud.

    Jonah Hill : Dude, your references are out of control, everyone knows that.

  • Jonah Hill : Um, can I have that Milky Way?

    James Franco : No, you can't have the Milky Way. That's my Milky Way. I went out this morning and specifically bought this Milky Way to eat after my party.

    Jay Baruchel : That's weird.

    James Franco : It's not weird, it's my special food, I like it. Back me up on that, Seth.

    Seth Rogen : I don't think you should get the whole Milky Way. I want some of the Milky Way.

    Craig Robinson : I'd be pretty bummed if I don't at least get a bite of the Milky Way.

    James Franco : Oh, now Craig wants a bite of the Milky Way.

    Craig Robinson : Yeah, I want a bite of the Milky Way! It's a fucking Milky Way.

    Jay Baruchel : A fifth of everything is what's fair and reasonable.

    Seth Rogen : Everyone gets a fifth of everything.

    James Franco : [to Craig]  I want one fifth of your t-shirt!

  • Jonah Hill : [trying to comprehend the previous night]  Something, um, not-that-chill happened last night.

  • Jonah Hill : This is no dream! This is really happening!

  • Jonah Hill : [possessed]  You will drown in a river of blood. The end of days is here. You will quiver in the shadow of kingdom come. Judgment Day is upon you. The Apocalypse is NIGH!

  • [the guys are debating whether or not to let a stranger into the house] 

    James Franco : [whispering]  I know it sounds really weird, but... I don't think we should let him in.

    Jay Baruchel : Why not?

    Headless Man : Yeah, why not? I can hear you, by the way.

    James Franco : I'm sorry, we just don't know you, man. You could be, like, a looter or a, a rapist or a tittyfucker, like...

    [Seth grabs his chest protectively] 

    James Franco : ... I'm sorry. Look, guys, we just boarded up this whole house to keep everyone out, and the first guy who comes to the door, we're gonna let him in? I mean, how do we know we can trust this guy?

    Headless Man : I want to live! Things have gone crazy out here!

    Danny McBride : "Agagaga-fuckin'-crazy-out-here!" This guy fuckin' sucks.

    James Franco : What if he's the rapist?

    Jonah Hill : Man, even if he is a rapist, he can't rape all of us.

    Headless Man : [panicking]  Yeah, no, I'm not a rapist!

    Seth Rogen : You gonna tittyfuck us?

    Headless Man : [almost in tears]  If you want me to tittyfuck you, I will, so good, oh, you'll love it!

    Jay Baruchel : Seth, back me up, please, we can't just leave him out there to die, are you crazy?

    James Franco : [to Seth]  What do you wanna do? I'll do whatever you wanna do.

    Seth Rogen : Uh, let's vote on it!

    Headless Man : Yeah, I fuckin' vote you let me in!

    Danny McBride : Here's my vote: fuck all of you, I'm letting him in. This is boring.

    [the guys all shout and rush to stop him; something growls outside] 

    Headless Man : There's something out here!

    [the thing outside suddenly chops the man's head off, and the severed head bounces into the room, coming to a stop at Danny's feet] 

    Danny McBride : [in shock]  This is real! This is fucking real!

    [he kicks the head at James, who kicks it away from him immediately. The guys all start screaming and kicking the head around the room to get away from it] 

    Jonah Hill : You guys! This man was alive a few seconds ago, we can't play soccer with his head!

    James Franco : Pick it up, Jonah.

    [Jonah picks up the head and immediately drops it again as blood gushes out of it] 

    Danny McBride : What the fuck is going on?

    Jonah Hill : He blinked at me! He blinked at me!

    James Franco : Put it over there!

    [quivering in fear, Craig throws a blanket over the head] 

  • Jonah Hill : [as Woody Harrelson]  I have to do what's right, weed is for the people, it's the peoples weed.

  • [after a man gets his head cut off and everyone is freaking out and kicking his head around] 

    Jonah Hill : Stop! You guys! This man was alive a few seconds ago, we can't play soccer with his head!

    James Franco : Pick it up, Jonah!

    [Jonah picks up the head and blood pours out and he drops it] 

    Jonah Hill : Oh, God! He blinked at me!

  • Jonah Hill : Guys, guys, guys. Jay's not rapey, Jay couldn't rape a fly.

  • [after Jay punches Jonah] 

    James Franco : Jonah, you okay?

    Jonah Hill : Yeah... his insides hurt worse than my outsides.

  • Possessed Jonah Hill : [holding Seth down]  I'm gonna titty fuck you, Seth.

    Seth Rogen : Don't titty fuck me!

    Possessed Jonah Hill : What are they, big B's or small C's? I'm gonna push your titties together. PUSH THEM TOGETHER!

  • Jay Baruchel : [about to exorcise Jonah Hill]  Jonah Hill.

    Possessed Jonah Hill : Jonah Hill is no more.

    Jay Baruchel : Demon!

    Possessed Jonah Hill : Yes!

    Seth Rogen : Fuck. That's not good.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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