Haggard: [after being threatened by the Army] Oh yeah? Says you and what army?
Sweetwater: What?!
Haggard: Well, I've just always wanted to say that.
Sweetwater: Why?!
Haggard: Sounds cool.
Haggard: My middle name's "Not Safe"...well, actually it's Gordon..but errr...
[walks away awkwardly]
Haggard: [when the player picks up a Specialist weapon] Is...is that a silencer? That's kinda girly.
Sweetwater: Sarge, Haggard's running away again!
Redford: Hold on, something ain't right.
Sweetwater: I know, look at him, he runs like a girl.
Redford: No, not that. I'm talking about something else.
Haggard: [when Preston dies] Anybody got a band-aid? Preston's bleeding real bad.
Haggard: Oh look. New guy's dead.
Sweetwater: Already? I was just about to learn his name.
Haggard: I think it was probably Joe. Usually is.
Sarge: His name's Preston. Preston Marlowe. And he's not dead. Right, soldier?
Sweetwater: Ahhh...the dulcet tones of Miss July...
[after Haggard "invades" a neutral country looking for the mercenary's gold]
Sarge: Is this you idea of "fun", Haggard?
Haggard: Well... yeah?
Sarge: [after Haggard "Invades" a neutral country] I hate to say this, but we're going to have to go in there after him.
Sweetwater: Do we REALLY have to go? I mean, do we REALLY REALLY need to go get him?
Sarge: [Both Marlow and Sarge look at Sweetwater sideways] Move out!
Miss July: [Over radio] You're facing court marshal Sergeant, I don't think you'll be going anywhere for at least 2 to 4 months, out!
Sarge: Damnit!
Haggard: Oh this is bad. This is bad.
Sweetwater: Yeah, this is real bad, Haggard. Real Bad!
Haggard: Can't be as bad as Kris Kristofferson's third album.
Sweetwater: It's worse!
Haggard: This is BAD!
Preston: Honour. Faith. Land. Oil. Wars are fought for any number of reasons. But... on the battlefield, every soldier has to find his own. As things turn out, me and my buddies found a pretty interesting one.
Haggard: Woah, are those some sort of super-secret military attack vehicles?
Sweetwater: Yup, real advanced stuff there Hags.
Haggard: That's funny, because they look like golf carts... Sweatwater.
Haggard: [Haggard and Sarge Walking away from Seetwater after he spots the dead Russian soldier]
Sweetwater: Come on, you guys, I heard that he pays his troops in solid gold bars.
Haggard: Let me just check for a pulse... in his pockets.
Haggard: There's gold in them there hills!
Haggard: How do you know she's hot? I had a cousin who had a real sweet voice, but she had a face like a can of dog food.
Sweetwater: Is that the one you dated?
Haggard: Yup...
Sweetwater: I know what I'm doing!
Haggard: [mockingly] You know what you're doin'! You know what you're doin'! If I had a penny for every time you said that, I wouldn't be needing this gold!
Sweetwater: Saaaarge, Haggard's running away again!
Redford: Well, look at that...
Sweetwater: I know! He runs like a girl!
Sweetwater: Am I the only one getting cold feet about this?
Haggard: Yep. Embrace the sucks, Sweetwater. Embrace the suck.
Haggard: Darn it, I just remembered I traded my last piece of beef jerky.
Sweetwater: For what?
Haggard: Cigarettes... but I don't smoke. So I traded them for a tube of back cream.
Redford: You got back problems?
Haggard: No... I was hoping the guy with my beef jerky would want it.
