31 North 62 East
is a movie starring
Heather Peace, Lee Godfrey, and Aurélie Bargème.
A psychological thriller about how an elite S.A.S. unit's position is revealed by the British Prime Minister to ensure an arms deal goes ahead, and to secure his re-election.
John Hammond (John Rhys-Davies) is the same name as Sir Richard Attenborough's character from Jurassic Park (1993) and The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997), though it's a different character. See more »
This is not in the league of Plan 9 from Outer Space bad but the film does have problems although I have to admire the writer's and director's enthusiasm.
The film decides it wants to make a political point about illegal wars and the machinations of the New Labour type British Prime Minister. However instead of presenting us with a Tony Blair clone we have an over the hill John Rhys Davies playing a gruff Yorkshire PM. Gosh we have not had one of those for 40 years in the UK since Harold Wilson called it a day.
I realise Davies in real life is a right winger who probably frothed at the mouth of New Labour occupying Downing Street and introducing legislation such as Human Rights Act and the Minimum Wage but he is all wrong in the days when our leaders tend to be youngish Oxbridge types. Anyhow why pick on Blair? The Afghanistan and Iraq wars were voted by all the politicians in the House of Commons and they decided to go to war based on the facts they had and its the politicians own fault if they opted not to be more questioning.
In fact why drag Iraq into it? As far as the plot is concerned it's set in Afghanistan, remember the place that was a training a ground for Al Qaeda that led to 9/11. The nephew of an Arab king has been killed there. Little mention is made as to what he was doing in Afghanistan. It has to be assumed he was visiting a terrorist training ground. The British PM in order to safeguard a £80 billion (Yes that is supposedly an accurate figure) arms deal with the Arabs the British PM betrays the army unit that killed the nephew. Strangely I cannot remember New Labour doing any such thing. But, never mind let's remember the films wants to critique illegal wars.
We then have a torture scene in Afghanistan which is concerning and slightly bizarre as to the torture methods used seems to consist of acupuncture. Well if you have Afghans torturing a British servicewoman (which includes threats of rape and amputations) you are really going to get the viewers on your side with your anti illegal wars agenda aren't you!
Back to the film the servicewoman confesses that she is not a reporter but SAS. She is released and the PM in order to cover his tracks orders her to be killed by the Arabs. The Arabs in this film have an undercover group of busty Arabic assassins who pose as whores and one easy on the eye killer assassin has been tasked to carry out the deed.
Our servicewoman also happens to have a twin sister who decides to look into this further. It just happens to be convenient that a French outfit have been bugging the the Arabs, the PM and tells the twin sister about the dastardly deeds of the British government. The twin kidnaps the PM's spin doctor (Marina Sirtis) and tortures her live on TV via a snake venom. The PM sends more people in to find the twin and also eliminate the spin doctor as she knows too much.
On the plus side the film has managed to fit several shots of cleavage. You would have thought in a past life the director made Carry On films. As far as politics is concerned it's naive to the extreme. The plot is immensely silly and the low budget means that the PM is wondering around in a country house, the type that tends to be used in porno films which is probably the reason how they managed to acquire some of the busty ladies I presume.
If ever there was a list of 100 worse British films of modern times this would be a contender but might luckily it might find itself lucky to be excluded because there are worse British films than this.
Thankfully there are a few familiar faces and the lead actress who plays twin sisters is a familiar face having appeared in programs such as Waterloo Road.
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