The Men Who Stare at Goats (2009)
Bill Django: Mother Earth, you're my life support system. As a soldier I must drink your blue water, live inside your red clay and eat your green skin. Help me to balance myself. As you hold in balance, the Earth, the sea, and the space environments. Help me to open my heart, knowing that the Universe will feed me. I pray my boots will always kiss your face, and my footsteps match your heartbeat. Carry my body through space and time. You're my connection to the Universe and all that comes after. I'm yours and you are mine. I salute you.
Lyn Cassady: There's a story that Wong Wifu, the great Chinese martial artist... had a fight with a guy and beat him. Then the guy gave him this light tap. Wong looked at him and the guy just nodded. That was it. He had given him the death touch. Wong died.
Bob Wilton: Then and there?
Lyn Cassady: No. About eighteen years later. That's the thing about Dim Mak... you never know when it's gonna take effect.
General Brown: So they started doing psy-research because they thought we were doing psy-research, when in fact we weren't doing psy-research?
Brigadier General Dean Hopgood: Yes sir. But now that they *are* doing psy-research, we're gonna have to do psy-research, sir.
Brigadier General Dean Hopgood: We can't afford to have the Russian's leading the field in the paranormal.
Lyn Cassady: Once you understand the linkage between observation and reality then you begin to dance with invisibility.
Bob Wilton: Like camouflage.
Lyn Cassady: No, it's not like camouflage.
Bob Wilton: It wasn't the Dim Mak that was killing Lyn. And it wasn't the cancer. He was dying of a broken heart. And maybe, the cancer as well.
Bob Wilton: So what do you use to remote view?
Lyn Cassady: I drink. And I find classic rock helps.
Bob Wilton: Any music in particular?
Lyn Cassady: Boston. Boston usually works.
Brigadier General Dean Hopgood: Did you crash those computers?
Lyn Cassady: Yes, sir.
Brigadier General Dean Hopgood: Far fuckin' out.
Bob Wilton: Don't eat the eggs.
Lyn Cassady: What?
Bob Wilton: Don't eat the eggs. We put LSD in the eggs.
Bill Django: And the water. I put LSD in the main water tank.
Bob Wilton: What? But, we drank the water!
Bill Django: Yeah!
Bill Django: [Having just meditatively fallen off a container] I just saw Timothy Leary!
Bob Wilton: Timothy Leary's dead...
Lyn Cassady: Dear Mother Earth... I will drink your blue waters... and eat your green skin.
Lyn Cassady: It's ok, you can "attack" me...
Bob Wilton: What's with the quotation fingers? It's like saying I'm only capable of ironic attacking or something.
Brigadier General Dean Hopgood: [with great concentration] Boone.
Lieutenant Boone: Yes sir?
Brigadier General Dean Hopgood: I'm going into the next office.
Lieutenant Boone: Yes sir.
Brigadier General Dean Hopgood: [breaks into a sprint, slams into the wall, falls over] Damn it.
Title Card: More of this is true than you would believe.
Bill Django: We must be the first superpower to create super powers.
Bob Wilton: Now more than ever we need the Jedi.
Bob Wilton: As we ran for cover, I thought this was what I wanted. I was on a mission, even if I didn't know what kind of mission it was. But I could hear the little man inside me again. He was screaming like a little girl.
Bob Wilton: We've been sitting here for half an hour. How's that "instant?"
Larry Hooper: Oh, here's an Iraqi Psyops leaflet they dropped on us.
Bob Wilton: - American soldier... your wives are back at home... having sex with Bart Simpson and Bert Reynolds.
Bob Wilton: Bill? Lyn told me he didn't deserve this eagle feather. He wanted me to give it back to you.
Bill Django: It's fake.
Bob Wilton: What?
Bill Django: This one's off a turkey.
Lyn Cassady: While recovering in the hospital, Bill wrote to the Vice Chief of Staff for the Army, explaining that he wanted to go on a fact-finding mission... to explore alternative combat tactics. The Pentagon agreed to pay his salary and expenses. What Bill hadn't told the Pentagon was that he was really looking for the answer to his vision. How could his men's gentleness, their general lack of interest in killing people, be turned into a strength? How could love and peace help win wars? Bill knew where to go to find out. Bill disappeared into the New Age Movement for six years.
Lyn Cassady: [Continues talking while various images of Bill's experiences with New Age Movement are shown] Like all Shaman before him, he had traversed the wilderness. Now he was returning to his people, a changed man. He brought with him his confidential report, which he called: "The New Earth Army manual." The New Earth Army is a banner under which the forces of good can gather. The courage and nobility of the Warrior, blended with the spirituality of the Monk. The Jedi Warrior will follow in the footsteps of the great imagineers of the past: Jesus Christ, Lao Tse Tung, Walt Disney. The role of The New Earth Army is to resolve conflict world-wide. Jedis will parachute into war zones, utilizing sparkly eyes technique, carrying symbolic flowers and animals, playing indigenous music and words of peace...
Bob Wilton: What's... What's the sparkly eyes technique?
Bill Django: In the name of the new world army and loving people everywhere... I'm liberating you.
Lyn Cassady: [driving up behind a running prisoner yelling out the window] It's ok we're Americans, we're here to help you!
Bob Wilton: [Truck shakes and rattles a little bit] What happened?
Lyn Cassady: I think I just ran him over. Oh crap.
Bob Wilton: Every single one of Bill's soldiers fired high. They instinctively hadn't wanted to shoot another person. Later Bill would come across a study which revealed that only 15-20% of fresh soldiers shot to kill. The rest aimed high, didn't fire at all, or pretended to be busy doing something else.
Bob Wilton: [in a firefight] I could hear the little man inside me again. He was screaming like a little girl.
Lyn Cassady: I'm very sorry for running you over, sir.
Mahmud Daash: It was an accident.
Lyn Cassady: And I apologize for that security detachment. I don't want you to think that all Americans are like that.
Mahmud Daash: I apologize for the kidnappers.
Lyn Cassady: Not your fault, sir. I mean, we've kidnappers in America and... There's always... bad apples.
Bob Wilton: Would you stop saying that? I've been... I've been blown up! I'm in the middle of a desert! I'm not gonna be okay.
Lyn Cassady: Bob, you're in shock. If you panic, your heart's gonna stop.
Bob Wilton: Is that supposed to calm me down?
Lyn Cassady: I can't dance, sir.
Bill Django: Now that's not true, is it? What happened was someone told you you can't dance. Well, I'm your commanding officer, and I'm ordering you to dance!
Bob Wilton: What's that?
Bill Django: [peering in a container where a prisoner is bombarded with childish music] The Dark Side.