Metal Man (Video 2008) Poster

(2008 Video)

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real home movie quality, or lack of it---
dahauk-130 April 2009
wow. like somebody had a halloween costume that kinda resembled Ironman and someone else had a camera and everyone decides " Hey gang, let's make a movie..we've got a costume and a camera!" Acting is high school play quality. The rare 'special fx' are perhaps the only good thing in this, one hesitates to call it, film, tho limited to force shields and morphing. Reggie 'Phantasm' Bannister stands around wearing a lab coat and almost no hair now except that famous pony-tail and reads cue-cards in a semi-Conscious state--not unlike the state this movie produces in it's watchers. surely you've got something better to do with your time. even syfy channel wouldn't show this. Useful only as a sleep-aid. Do not operate heavy machinery after watching this movie. Side effects may include drowsiness, lack of focus, drooling, loss of faith in humanity, and rectal leakage.
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Its nice to see home movies sold as the regular ones
the_wolf_imdb22 November 2009
This is just unbelievable. As a home piece it may be funny for the authors to laugh at their piece. As a joke for the beer party it works pretty well. But this piece made it to the retail somehow and it is being sold for real money, which is not funny. Not at all. I think this may be acceptable for early morning cable TV, but it is way too stupid, uninventive and just dull. The "superhero" movies are usually not the brightest ones, but this is only derivative of the derivative - completely predictable and boring. No decent effects, pathetic combat, just tons of boring talks. On a positive side - the black haired girl (Katherine Pawlak) is really pretty and she is probably the only one that seems not to overact horribly. So one point for her. As for the script and director: I do hope this is just a home movie attempt. Please do not make any other movies for sale - find another job instead.
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Complete waste of time
darkmyble20064 May 2009
I just couldn't believe how awful this film was.. what a waste of time. The acting is atrocious.. the lead Samual Nathen Hoffmire (Kyle/Metal Man.. a relative unknown, delivers an almost camp portrayal of a hero who i would of thought should of been a tad more masculine.. whilst even the most known actor in this film Reggie Bannister (Dr Blake)(Phantasm 1-4) delivers a less than ideal performance, the whole cast has been plucked from the depths of low budget films.. only to do another! The only actor who has some weight behind him is Scott Levy (Leon) who had an uncredited roll in Pearl Harbour. The plot is ropey with no real direction. Even the filming it self is below par, with out of focus shots and poor angles. The special effects are practically none existent.. and the only bit of good music is the end titles.. which brought the whole disappointment to an end.. thankfully!!

To end i have to quote my 13 yr old son who started to watch this film and walked out after 15 minutes! His comment made me laugh though 'i've seen better power rangers dad'. Says it all really. Awful Awful Awful! On every level!
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Stupendously, unbelievably, monumentally awful.
DeclanCochran25 September 2011
If there exists another film out there that matches the quality (or massive lack of) of this one, then I might as well give up with life. This isn't a film in so much as an experience, much like toothache, or a migraine is an experience. This marks a new low for films, and if you ever see a copy of it lurking unawares, like a rapist, in your local pound-shop, buy it and burn it. God will smile upon you.

Let's look at this film on a critical level: a mad scientist decides to turn a teenager (who's about 30) into a sub-level Iron Man, complete with dodgy helmet and unspecified powers. As he is being tested in a cold room (?) goons and a gang boss enter and kill the scientist, leaving the boy/man stuck in the suit forever. The goons then go and kill the boys family, for some reason. The boy swears revenge, which goes against the oft repeated fact that he has 'a strong sense of right and wrong'. This is a fact that is repeated by various characters every five minutes. I think the makers, sadists that they must be, decided that every time a character said it, they should down a pint. It would see them through the production of this tank, at the very least.

There is a hammy villain, who clearly wants his way with his dead best friends daughter. There is a duff helmet, which does something to a poor girls head to make it seep blood. There is a token Chinese goon who gets kicked in the balls. There is a prologue which couldn't serve less of a purpose. There is a scene at the beginning in which the boy/man tries to talk to a girl/woman, and fails. I'll see you next Wednesday, she says to him. That was exactly what I uttered to my sanity when I pressed the off button on my DVD player.

Then there's the question of the suit itself, which has no real purpose, and is yet the most important thing in the film. It can't be removed, or so I gathered, but that's okay, because if you say 'stealth' it just disappears for a bit. To navigate the minefield of eating, the scientist made some green stuff that the man/boy could hold next to his neck to provide nourishment, and to open your mind. It gives you super powers, which the dead best friend's daughter proclaims to be 'really awesome'. Because the scientist predicted his death, he made an AI version of himself to speak to the man/boy in the helmet. The list goes on.

The truth be told, I could write a book on the flaws of this film. The fact that it looks like it was made on an iPhone camera, and edited by a blind person comes to mind. The script, which doesn't just recycle the typical clichés but regurgitates them also is also a major factor. In reality, though, just think to yourself, was this film ever going to be good? No, no, no, no and no. Even with the budget of Avatar this film would have tanked.

If you think you'll watch this on the grounds that it could be amusing, pick something passable like Megashark VS Giant Octopus (which looks like an Oscar winning epic next to this) to fill your time. This goes beyond funny and into the realms of 'Oh-my-god-did-they-really-just-put-that-on-screen?'. Treat this film with the kind of contempt you would reserve for terrorists or back-alley dentists. Avoid eye-contact. Don't let it come to your attention. Walk away quickly. This isn't a review, more of a public warning. Never, ever, watch this film. I couldn't wish that torture on my fellow man.
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Too terrible for American audiences?
andrew-haws15 June 2014
I love how almost all the reviews on this are from folks in the UK. Apparently our "dollar stores" have too high a standard (as opposed to the English Pound Shops) to stock this terrible, mind numbingly awful film.

Some pals and I had a bad movie night, and we watched "The Impossible Kid of Kung- Fu," "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Black," and this movie. Take a guess on which was the worst of the bunch.

Everything that has been said above covers everything you need to know about this movie. Just take my advice and bring more beer. However much you brought, bring more.
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Gloriously, hilariously bad
Starslug4 October 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Metal Man/Iron Hero is a masterpiece of a film. First of all, the whole thing appears to have been shot on the cheapest camera possible, using the most static, repetitive camera angles imaginable. The actors are awkward and stilted, the settings are primarily composed of peoples living rooms and back gardens, and the special effects are photo-shop standard. The pacing varies between tedious exposition scenes, and the slowest, most awkward fights possible. And despite being a fairly blatant attempt to rip off Iron Man, the titular Iron Hero more resembles a rejected Power-Ranger villain, his supposedly bullet-proof armour slowly disintegrating throughout the movie.

But these general complaints fail to scratch the surface of what makes this such an awesomely bad movie. Highlights include: 1) Dr Blake's lab quite clearly being someone's garage, inexplicably filled with fire extinguishers.

2) The villain looking awkward in a suit a few sizes too large for him, apparently aware that his evil lair is just someone's tackily furnished living room.

3) Iron Hero jabbing nutrient fluid into a hole in his neck, whilst unnecessarily epic music blares.

4) Dr Blake dying from being lightly pushed over.

5) The sheer amount of times Iron Hero crushes someones fist.

6) Watching the poor guy inside the Iron Hero costume try to move, run, and even drive a car, despite the fact that the wrists of the suit pretty much trap his hands.

7) The villain dying by having all his bones inexplicably dissolved.

8) Iron Hero obviously wearing trainers with his impenetrable robot suit.

9) The mechanical voice for Iron Hero making almost all his lines incomprehensible gibberish.

10) A romantic embrace, during which both characters are wearing identical, scowling robot helmets.
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A Cinematic Masterpiece
clarka3-248-70435425 February 2015
Warning: Spoilers
This movie is by far the best movie I have ever seen! The plot of this movie was thoroughly engaging and had be on the edge of my seat, even when I watched it for the 100th (literally the 100th) time last week. Kudos to the writer, he really showed the struggle through Iron Hero's natural and convincing Don't even get me started on the special effects! The CGI was so advanced and convincing, it was from the 22nd century! The props were extremely convincing and I now sleep with one eye open because I fear that Iron Hero will come to punish me for my sins! I was blown away by the end scene when Iron Hero decided to fly away! I respect him for not flying earlier in the movie, because it allowed for more violence and showed that he was the better man. Speaking of violence, those fight scenes were glorious! Forget Avatar or 300, Iron Hero has the best fight scenes in history, especially when Kyle finds out his parents were killed and he beats up those thugs! The casting was great, while they weren't A-List actors, they made the movie come alive. I would take Samuel Nathan Hoffmire over Will Ferrell or Steve Carell any day! I would recommend this movie to any of my friends and family, it's always a hit at my funeral after parties!
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Absolute utter trash
jimijigz5 May 2019
I watched this expecting a terrible movie but my gosh was it worse then I anticipated. It was 2 hours I will never get back and I honestly would rather sit through an hour of Justin Bieber then whatever this is!
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>: [ not nice
thecodeso24 May 2018
Metal man doesn't show up at all in the movie neither does air man, bubble man, heat man, quick man, crash man, flash man or wood man it was not nice lmao >: ]
  • mm2wood.mid
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luedavies-049427 September 2018
This is what would happen if the MCU was a low budget Cinematic universe. Iron Man would've been considered one of the worst movies of all time. This is the movie I think of, A Horribly put together mess. I wouldn't recommend this movie to ANYONE.
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galaxychoco22 September 2013
This movie is just plain terrible. It has bad acting, a bad storyline plus the cameraman cant keep the camera still. This movie is a cheap rip off of iron man. I definitely wouldn't recommend this movie anyone unless you want to be bored out of your mind. I lost interest about 15 minutes into the movie as it is very unwatchable! im sure a lot of people would agree with me when i say why would you even make this movie. None of my friends or family have had anything good to say about this even my little cousins who are 7 and 4 lost interest in this. This movie definitely goes on my top 10 worst movies i have seen. All i can say is do not watch this movie it is a complete waste of time. I give it a 1 out of 10
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benscaife13 July 2013
Warning: Spoilers
I've had this film for a while and have been waiting to watch it with a few of my mates, it's been one of those things we've been waiting to do because it seemed so bad it just had to be good, I wish I didn't bother! This film is terrible! It's slow, boring, the effects are dog nosh and none of it makes sense. I can't understand why the end credits show him flying around the city like iron man, shooting down planes and stuff, but none of this is even mentioned in the film! There's no mention of the ability to fly! Those 90 minutes I spent watching this will never be given back to me, I feel robbed...this crap cost me £2! The guy wears trainers for Christ sake!! Enough said, rant over! Avoid this piece of donkey crap
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wtf! this is just ripping off batman
jsgcobb2 February 2012
Warning: Spoilers
So me and my brother really like superhero films so when one of my cool friends from uni suggested this film. i was like sure thing bro. so after purchasing metal man from amazon for what seemed a reasonable price of £12.95 (excluding P&P), me and my bro got like 7 bags of popcorn and sat down to watch what was promised to be the most original and best superhero film since dirty dancing hit our screens. but shock horror, metal man turned out to be a total remake of Adam west's batman minus the characters, the plot, the locations and the props. me and my bro were so angry that he cried. this film made my brother cry real tears. c'mon metal man, what do you have to say now? also Sandra bullock is not in this film. disappointing :(
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The Worst Film Ever!!!!!!!!!
adam-wragg199120 September 2011
the pound shop beckoned and i bought this thinking it would be OK and entertaining for the price, at least funny for the bad reasons. Oh how i was wrong.

This has got to be the most god awful piece of crap ever to exist. Quite an obvious rip off of iron man, although it does not mention it. any one who watches this will have an hour and a half of their life wasted, I'm posting this to make sure no one else makes the same mistake i did.

Just because a film comes from a pound shop, it does not mean it will be decent. i learnt a lesson when i bought this and am careful with all low budget films now

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No heroism to be seen at all in this movie
TheLittleSongbird1 April 2015
Even when taking into account that it's low budget and that it's not to be taken seriously, Iron Hero is inexcusably bad and with no entertainment value.

It looks bad for starters, the photography is washed out and enough to make one dizzy, the sets are incredibly simplistic in how they look and limited in number(they all don't look anything like what they're meant to be), the costumes are of second hand fancy dress-quality and the special effects while wisely not excessively used are artificially cartoonish. The music is sluggish, generic stuff that's only there for the sake of it without adding to anything that's happening. The muddied sound quality doesn't help.

The movie is dreadfully written too, with a script with a lot of talk that a lot of the time goes nowhere, being only there to pad out the running time, and peppered with ham-fisted and awkwardly paced dialogue. The story is incredibly tedious and is barely existent, with nothing thrilling, fun or suspenseful in sight and with clichés that would fill a whole novel. Don't expect good action sequences, the action here is very lazily choreographed that makes the worst SyFy/Asylum action sequences seem professional in comparison and so choppily edited that it is not always easy to discern who's who. The (very) stereotypical characters range between annoying and bland, and less said about the acting the better, with a lead hero that is boorishly uncharismatic and as stiff as a board and a lead villain that takes camp to uncomfortable extremes.

All in all, very bad and inexcusably. 1/10, and that is solely for the cool DVD cover. Bethany Cox
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Spend your pennies carefully
neil-47626 June 2011
Warning: Spoilers
The pound shop beckoned and I answered. A film which appeared to be in the Iron Man mould, only a quid, and me a generous minded soul who has always been easy to please, film-wise - you can't go wrong, can you? Turns out you can.

I no longer have the patience I once had to wait for things to get better. By the time 15 minutes or so had gone by I had discovered that this movie featured:

a) a bad script,

b) truly appalling acting from a cast destined to remain complete unknowns (apart from Reggie Bannister - hardly A list but at least I've heard of him. Unfortunately, he's as rubbish as everyone else);

c) production values which forgot to stop when they reached rock bottom (the washed-out video look may be OK as an aesthetic choice but loses something when it's because it is washed out video);

d) oh, and it's tedious and incredibly slow moving.

I picture searched through to the end and discovered the following:

a) the exotic locations include someone's bedroom, someone's basement, someone's lounge, a street, and a field;

b) the expensive props include a kind of box-y thing with some lights on it;

c) there are two costumes which look a bit Iron Man-ish. They look a bit more expensive than costumes from a party shop. But not much.

d) there are a couple of minor special effects which give this a not-very-deserved star above the minimum.

Absolutely awful. I wuz robbed.
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